60plus and loving life

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When you fall, I will pick you up…

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, she has depression and some days she finds it really hard to get out of bed and start her day.

I feel her pain.

Some mornings are like that. You awaken feeling flat or down for no apparent reason.

You lie in bed and feel the weight of everything and nothing holding you down like a weighted blanket (but not the good kind).

My friend teaches part-time, usually in the mornings. That has become her lifeline. She gets up and gets going so as to not let down her students.

What is your lifeline? What gets you up in the morning? And what can you do if it all feels too hard?

Many people still don’t understand depression.

Another friend was puzzled by his friend who had severe depression, he said – “he had a lovely wife and home and job, there was no reason for him to be depressed.”

But that’s not how depression works.

You can look as though you have everything going right in your life, but still feel everything is wrong.

Depression is like a shadow that dims the brightest of days and cloaks the most vibrant of lives in a shroud of darkness. It’s a complex and multifaceted mental health condition that can affect anyone, regardless of their external circumstances or perceived successes.

Depression doesn’t discriminate based on wealth, status, or achievements – it can silently infiltrate the minds and hearts of individuals from all walks of life.

At first glance, it may seem paradoxical – how can someone who appears to have it all be consumed by such overwhelming sadness and despair? Yet, the reality is that depression often lurks beneath the surface, hidden behind carefully curated facades and painted smiles.

It’s not always visible to the outside world, and those grappling with depression may go to great lengths to conceal their inner turmoil behind a mask of “I’m ok, thank you for asking.” When in actuality they, like my friend, are battling dark demons every single day!

On the surface, their lives may seem picture-perfect – successful careers, loving relationships, material wealth – yet, internally, they may be battling a constant sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can distort one’s perception of reality, making it difficult to find joy in life’s pleasures or see a way out of the darkness.

It’s important to understand that depression is not a reflection of personal weakness or failure. It’s a complex interplay of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors that can disrupt brain chemistry and mood regulation.

Despite outward appearances, those struggling with depression may be fighting an uphill battle against their own minds every single day. And that is absolutely exhausting! Can you imagine battling your own mind and thoughts all the time? The weariness that brings? Some days it works, other days – not so much.

The stigma surrounding mental illness often exacerbates the suffering of those with depression. They may fear judgment, rejection, or misunderstanding from others, leading them to suffer in silence and isolate themselves further.

The misconception that “having it all” should equate to happiness only adds to the burden of guilt and shame that many individuals with depression carry. We all need to be less judgmental as we do not know what is going on in the minds of those around us.

It’s crucial to recognize that depression is a real and debilitating illness that requires compassion, understanding, and support. It’s not enough to judge someone’s well-being based solely on external markers of success or happiness.

Instead, we must strive to create a culture of empathy and acceptance, where individuals feel safe to seek help without fear of stigma or shame.

Ultimately, depression teaches us that appearances can be deceiving and that true understanding lies beneath the surface. It reminds us to look beyond the outward façade and extend kindness and empathy to those who may be silently struggling.

Because no matter how well someone’s life may appear on the surface, they may still be in the grip of depression, yearning for a glimmer of hope to guide them through the darkness.

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Vibing with the right person…

What is astonishingly good is when you connect with someone and you can have an actual conversation with them.

A real, genuine – goes two ways conversation!

I know, right?!?

Not just listening to some bore droning on about the minutiae of their life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all happy to have someone share their day-to-day with me. I can listen, be empathetic and engaged.

I’m talking about that person that literally drones on & on, barely pausing for breath and showing scant interest in you or what is going on in your life.

The one-way monologue.

The bore-fest of “me, me, me” and all their woes, constant negativity. and victimhood. Never owning their own actions, blaming absolutely everybody else in their life for everything that has gone wrong for them.

Not for one minute showing any insight into their own self-inflicted drama.

The one who gossips about absolutely everyone else and telling your everybody’s secrets and private information that you really do not want to know about.

For damn sure, they are now gossiping about you! Trust me, he who gossips and bitches about others, will be spreading your private life to anyone who will take the time to listen!

After a number of dud relationships, I am so happy I have a connection with a genuine human with whom I can have engaging and thoughtful conversations. We have shared values and can talk politics and the state of the world and know our world view is aligned.

He is mindful and smart, well read and always keen to learn more. He is open to looking at things from other perspectives. He never gossips and does not bitch about other people. Such a breath of fresh air!

It is delightful to spend time with him exploring our thoughts and ideas and sharing things we have read about and valuing each other’s perspective on life.

You have no idea how lovely it is to have this kind of relationship, for me it is rare. It’s like a caring, genuine friendship and love connection all wrapped up together and it truly warms my heart.

The last time I had anything similar to this was my first husband who sadly died 27 years ago.

I have peace of mind, I am happy as a lark and life is fine and dandy🥰

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Someday…

It really is true.

Sometimes we give our love to the very wrong people.

And eventually we realize.

We understand that our love has been wasted on the narcissists, the negative/emotionally abusive ones, the emotionally distant ones and those that are just incapable of showing love.

Then along comes someone who is truly worthy of sharing our love. The person who just ‘gets’ you, the person who shares your sense of humour, the person who has the time to listen and understand who you are and the life journey you have been travelling and you understand theirs and there is no judgement.

Those conversations that start and spark ideas & thoughts and then suddenly several hours have passed and you look at each other and you just know.

Someone with common values and beliefs. Someone who is caring towards other people and animals.

That person, who when you look at them, you think “yes, it’s you.”

Then you know that life just got a heck of a lot better and the journey ahead will be fun & adventurous and full of shared experiences.

Let go of the ones who are not right for you and move towards the one who is meant to be in your life.

It is all a learning experience, sometimes it’s a bit hard and not what we wanted to have to deal with and survive. But look at you! You have survived and now you are thriving – go get it! ❤️❤️

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Dancing with Resilience: A Message of Hope for Those Overcoming Trauma

In the vast ocean of life, many of us find ourselves navigating tumultuous waves, facing the challenges of trauma that threaten to pull us under.

Today, I want to share a message of hope, inspired by the profound wisdom that lies in the saying, “Dance with the waves, move with the sea, let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.”

I want to dedicate this post to the beautiful souls who have triumphed over trauma and to those who are still entangled in the nets of pain. Many of you have reached out to me and I hear you and I am here for you. Take care and be gentle with yourself, you deserve loving kindness.

There is a promise of light at the end of the tunnel, and I wish you kindness, love, blessings, and, above all else, peace.

The Ocean of Life

Life, much like the vast expanse of the ocean, is filled with highs and lows, calm moments, and stormy seas.

For those who have experienced trauma, it often feels like being caught in a tempest that threatens to drown us. Yet, within the chaos, there lies an inherent rhythm—a rhythm that, when embraced, can lead us to liberation.

Dancing with the Waves

“Dance with the waves.” It’s an invitation to engage with life’s challenges, not as adversaries, but as partners in a cosmic dance.

When we learn to move with the ebb and flow of our experiences, acknowledging the pain without letting it define us, we discover an inner resilience that allows us to ride the waves with grace.

Moving with the Sea

“Move with the sea.” It’s a call to surrender to the currents of life, recognizing that resistance often intensifies the struggle.

By moving with the sea, we release the need for control, allowing the natural forces to guide us. In doing so, we find a sense of acceptance that becomes the foundation for healing.

Let the Rhythm Set Your Soul Free

“Let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.” In the dance of life, there’s a rhythm that transcends the chaos—a rhythm that, when embraced, leads to freedom.

It’s a freedom born from the understanding that, despite the pain, our souls have an innate ability to heal and rediscover joy.

For the Beautiful Souls

This message is for the beautiful souls who have experienced trauma and have emerged as resilient warriors.

Your strength is an inspiration, and your journey is a testament to the transformative power of the human spirit.

Your scars tell a story of survival, and your light shines as a beacon of hope for others navigating stormy seas.

A Promise of Light

To those who are still caught in the nets of pain, I want to offer a promise: there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The storms may rage, but they do not last forever. Your capacity to endure is greater than you realize, and as you dance with the waves, you’ll discover an inner strength that guides you towards the serenity you deserve.

Wishing You Peace

I wish you all kindness, love, blessings, and, above all else, peace.

May the dance of life lead you to a place of healing, and may the rhythm of your soul set you free from the depths of pain.

You are not alone, and there is a community of support ready to embrace you as you navigate the seas of life.

So, my beautiful souls, dance with resilience, move with acceptance, and let the rhythm of healing waters set your soul free. The journey may be challenging, but there is a symphony of hope playing just beyond the waves. Embrace it, and may your life be filled with the harmonious melodies of peace and recovery.

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Embracing Reflection and Kindness as We Step Into a New Year

As we stand on the threshold of a new year, it’s only natural to find ourselves in a reflective state, contemplating the journey we’ve traveled in the past twelve months. The highs and lows, the moments of triumph and the challenges overcome – each episode contributing to the rich tapestry of our lives.

This is a time for introspection, a time to look back at the person we were and consider how every experience has shaped us, molding us into a better version of ourselves.

Reflecting on the past year, I find myself acknowledging the highs with gratitude and approaching the lows with a newfound resilience.

Life, after all, is a series of lessons, and each triumph or stumble is an opportunity for growth. It’s through these experiences that we discover our strengths, understand our weaknesses, and emerge wiser and more compassionate.

As I bid farewell to the old and welcome the new, I am reminded of the incredible blessings that surround me. I am loved, not just by those close to me but by life itself, which presents opportunities for growth and connection in the most unexpected ways.

My beautiful family and friends, the anchors of my life, have been my unwavering support, sharing in the laughter and wiping away tears when needed.

Waking up each day with gratitude in my heart has become a ritual, a conscious choice to appreciate the simple joys that often go unnoticed. It’s about finding beauty in the mundane and recognizing that life’s true treasures lie in the relationships we nurture and the moments we share.

As I step into the new year, I carry with me the essence of loving kindness. It’s a mindset that extends beyond personal reflection, encouraging us to approach the world with empathy and compassion.

In a world where chaos can often overshadow goodness, choosing kindness becomes a revolutionary act. It’s a reminder that, despite our differences, we are all connected by our shared humanity.

In the coming year, let us strive to be a source of light and positivity for ourselves and others. Kindness is a currency that knows no bounds – it costs nothing, yet its impact is immeasurable.

A simple gesture, a kind word, or a thoughtful act has the power to brighten someone’s day and create a ripple effect of positivity.

So, here’s to the new year – a blank canvas awaiting the strokes of our experiences, lessons, and moments of kindness. May we embrace the opportunity to let go of the past, to forgive ourselves and others, and to look forward with a heart full of loving kindness.

Wishing each and every one of you a wonderful and happy 2024. May it be a year filled with growth, joy, and an abundance of kindness.

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Paws of Resilience: A Journey Through Cruciate Ligament Surgery

In the world of wagging tails and furry companions, life’s twists and turns can sometimes lead to unexpected challenges.

This year, my beloved dog faced one such hurdle when he needed cruciate ligament surgery on his left hind leg.

The journey was fraught with risks and uncertainties, but it also highlighted the incredible benefits of a supportive community, the beauty of well-wishers, and the boundless love that surrounds us.

My dog is more than just a pet; he’s a cherished member of the family, a loyal companion who has stood by my side through thick and thin.

When we received the news that he needed this surgery, my heart ached with worry, not only for his health but also for the difficult road ahead.

Cruciate ligament surgery comes with its own set of risks, including post-surgery complications and a lengthy recovery period.

The benefits, however, are worth every ounce of concern. The surgery promises to restore my dog’s mobility and alleviate his pain, allowing him to live a life of comfort and happiness once more.

Whilst the recovery period is long and challenging, the outcome is a testament to the remarkable advancements in veterinary care and the potential for our furry friends to overcome adversity.

What truly astonished and humbled me throughout this journey was the outpouring of support from well-wishers near and far.

Friends, family, and even those we’ve touched through our volunteer work rallied around us. For over a decade, my dog and I have dedicated our time to serving the community, visiting hospitals, kindergartens, schools, retirement homes, and dementia facilities.

We’ve seen firsthand the impact of a warm, furry presence on people’s lives, and now the community has come together to give back and show us just how loved we are.

The kindness and generosity of people, some of whom we’ve never even met, have been a shining light in our lives. The support, both emotional and financial, has been a beacon of hope during the darkest days of our journey.

The community’s rallying spirit reminds us that there are beautiful, kind-hearted individuals in this world who will go out of their way to make a difference.

These experiences reinforce the notion that love knows no boundaries. Whether it’s the bond between a person and their four-legged companion or the connection forged through shared acts of kindness, the human spirit is capable of remarkable things.

It’s a testament to the beauty of empathy, the power of unity, and the extraordinary capacity of the heart to love and care for others.

As I navigate this journey alongside my furry friend, I am eternally grateful and humbled by the overwhelming support we have received. The recovery may be challenging, but the love and kindness we’ve encountered along the way have made it all worthwhile.

To everyone who has extended a helping hand, offered a kind word, or shared in our journey, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You’ve not only touched our lives but have also reminded us that the world is full of warmth, generosity, and love, waiting to embrace us when we need it most.

Much love to Dr John and the team at Riverton/Rossmoyne Vet Clinic❤️

x-ray of dog leg with plate and pins
x-ray of plate and pins

 

 

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The Dark Side of Wishing Harm: A Tale of Compassion and Resilience

I have previously written about the car accident I was in a couple months back. But I am writing another post about it, because there was an unexpected plot twist. Please, if you may, read on to find out!

In life, we often encounter challenges and obstacles that test our patience and resilience. But nothing could have prepared me for the shocking cruelty of a wish that no one should ever experience—an ill-wishing from that toxic ex that was so sinister that it pierced through the realms of empathy and humanity.

It all began on a day like any other, with the barely rising sun casting its gentle rays upon the road, painting the world with a soft light and hope. Little did I know that the fallout from this day would forever change my perspective on the power of compassion and the ugliness of ill-wishing.

As I was driving to the gym, the calmness of the day was suddenly shattered by a jarring collision. I barely had time to react as the young nurse behind the wheel of the other car, exhausted from an overnight shift, missed a give-way sign and crashed into my vehicle. The sound of crumpling metal was deafening, and my heart raced as I tried to process what had just happened.

Amid the chaos and the haze of confusion, I stepped out of my car to confront the damage. But my shock quickly turned to disbelief as I saw the condition of the other driver. The young nurse, her eyes filled with tears, was trembling and distraught. She looked as if she had just seen her world crumble before her eyes.

In that moment, any upset I may have felt about the accident was overshadowed by a deep sense of empathy and concern for this young woman. I approached her gently, offering a hug and words of comfort.

I reassured her that no one had been injured, emphasizing that cars can be fixed or replaced, but lives cannot. She clung to me, tears streaming down her face, and I could feel the weight of her distress. She kept apologizing for her loss of attention and she was deeply upset that she may have potentially injured or killed someone.

It was during this profoundly emotional encounter that I realized the true essence of humanity—our capacity for empathy and compassion, even in the face of adversity.

In that moment of vulnerability, the nurse and I connected on a level that transcended the accident. We were two strangers brought together by a twist of fate, finding solace in each other’s understanding and support.

However, what happened next was as shocking as it was heartbreaking. My toxic ex, upon hearing about the accident, decided to exploit the situation in the most despicable way possible.

He sent me a message (on my blog some time after the accident) and called it my “karma” and used the accident as an opportunity to wish me harm, as if I deserved to be hurt for an unfortunate event that was beyond anyone’s control. By extension, by ill-wishing me, he also ill-wished a poor, young nurse and that is despicable.

Such a callous and vindictive response to a situation filled with pain and distress left me stunned and disheartened. It served as a stark reminder that some people choose to revel in the suffering of others, blinded by their own bitterness and resentment.

It revealed the true character of my ex, a person capable of harboring dark thoughts and ill-wishes even in the face of human suffering. My family and friends were shocked beyond measure when I showed them the message.

In the end, this experience taught me two valuable lessons. First, accidents happen, and they are never anyone’s “karma.” We must approach them with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to support one another.

Second, it revealed the true measure of a person’s character, which can be exposed in the most unexpected moments.

As I reflect on this harrowing incident, I choose to focus on the compassion and resilience that emerged from it. I am grateful for the opportunity to comfort and reassure the young nurse, and I am determined to rise above the darkness of ill-wishing and cruelty.

I am deeply grateful that neither she nor I or anyone else were killed or injured. That is all that matters.

In the face of adversity, kindness and empathy will always prevail, reminding us that, no matter how wicked the world may seem at times, our humanity can shine through the darkest of moments.

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Reflections on Life

I have had a lot of time this year to reflect on my life. Time spent in countless medical waiting rooms to see various specialists, waiting for scans, staying still in scanning machines and a few stays in hospital for operations and other procedures.

All up I am deeply grateful for my life. I have the most wonderful, loving people around me and I could not be more blessed. Yes, there have been challenges and sometimes I have ended up in tears when it all got a bit overwhelming. But equally I have laughed many times at the absurdity of things and very much realise that life is strange, fabulous, harsh, beautiful and the most precious gift that we have.

When I have felt overwhelmed I have thought to myself “ok, deal with this one thing and move forwards.” Mostly that works. Occasionally, it’s like “seriously universe?” Overall, I am reminded that I am fortunate to live in a country with excellent health care and that I can afford private health insurance (I prefer private rooms in hospital – that’s just me and I am deeply grateful for the privilege.)

Today I reflect on all the things that brought me to this point in life. It has been a wonderous journey, occasionally strange and some wrong turns. But I always get back on track, put one foot in front of the other and look towards the future whilst appreciating my here and now.

I have some beautiful friends around me who always offer their love and support. I have been saddened to see four long-term relationships end over the last couple of months for some of my dearest friends. Each of my friends are the kindest, sweetest and most loving of people. It is now my turn to offer my loving friendship and support to them to be a small part of their path forwards into their new lives.

They are all at various stages in the grief process and it is heartbreaking to see them go through this challenge.💔 There is shock and bafflement as to why things have to end. I have wrapped my arms around them (two in person and two virtually due to distance) and told them they are beautiful souls who deserve to be loved and cherished. They really, really do deserve the very best.

Yesterday was RUOK Day and I am reminded that we do need to care for each other and reach out, not just today, but everyday and ask “how are you?” Do it from a place of authenticity. Ask with a genuine belief that you want to hear the answer. A lot of people are not ok at all. Many do not want to share their grief, pain or depression. But if you give them the space and be prepared to listen, hear and offer empathy, then you may help someone open up.

You don’t have to fix things for them. Often listening is enough or a start at least. I have had times where I have been stoic and just pushed through things. Other days I have walked into work feeling mostly fine, then someone says “hey, how are you?” and I end up in tears. I am deeply fortunate that I work in a very supportive environment with really wonderful people and an understanding and empathetic boss.

I am the Safety & Wellbeing officer in my workplace. For RUOK Day I took my dog into work (he’s a registered therapy dog) for customers and team to pet and cuddle. One girl said she was feeling really down that day and seeing George immediately lifted her spirits and changed the tone of her day.

Georgie-boy

My message to you all is to be gentle with yourself. Life has many twists and turns. We can have our hearts broken, we can suffer sudden or chronic illness, we can lose people. But if we genuinely and carefully nurture ourselves, then we have the capacity and bandwidth to help each other through the good times and the bad.

As I take one step after another into my future I am fortunate to have my daughter, family & friends by my side offering love and support, laughter and joy. Equally, I am there for them for anything they may face – good or bad – now and in the times ahead. Gratitude is my daily mantra:

I put my energy into things that matter to me. I am grateful for my life’s challenges for helping me grow and become who I am. I am grateful for my dreams and I know I have the power to manifest them. I love myself, respect myself, and accept myself exactly as I am.

image of a 'gratitude jar' with messages inside

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Self Care

In a hectic world…

…it is important to prioritize self care. It’s easy enough to forget and not focus on the things that nourish our mind, spirit and well-being.

Whether life is going well or you are in a difficult space, try to remember to be mindful that you need to be kind to yourself.

Sure, if life is tricky and you really feel you need to, then eat that ice-cream or chomp that chocolate. But then do something kind and gentle for yourself. Eat the healthy meal first, take a walk, meditate, go for a run or a swim, catch up with a friend or family member.

I aim to do a little meditation practice on most days. I keep up my exercise regimen and ramp up my healthy eating when I feel I’ve lost control of my world. In times of stress your body and mind are negatively impacted (and I’m not talking about “good” stress, which in itself can be motivating). I’m talking about those times when you hit a rough patch and you cannot quite see the way clear.

By caring for yourself you give yourself the space to reflect upon your situation and clarify your thoughts and understand what has or is happening and what you can do or if you just have to sit still for a bit or let go.

I came across an interesting take on meditation which is the concept of “sending and taking”. With each in breath we take in someone’s pain, with each out breath, we send them relief. It’s a form of focusing on others which then has the effect of increasing our compassion for others and ourselves. Here’s a link for you to read more about this practice.

Self-care is important for all the reasons I have outlined. However getting too caught up in our own thoughts and issues can be counterproductive. Hence, my resonating with this form of meditation. Look after yourself and be kind and compassionate to yourself and others ❤️

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