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When you fall, I will pick you up…

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, she has depression and some days she finds it really hard to get out of bed and start her day.

I feel her pain.

Some mornings are like that. You awaken feeling flat or down for no apparent reason.

You lie in bed and feel the weight of everything and nothing holding you down like a weighted blanket (but not the good kind).

My friend teaches part-time, usually in the mornings. That has become her lifeline. She gets up and gets going so as to not let down her students.

What is your lifeline? What gets you up in the morning? And what can you do if it all feels too hard?

Many people still don’t understand depression.

Another friend was puzzled by his friend who had severe depression, he said – “he had a lovely wife and home and job, there was no reason for him to be depressed.”

But that’s not how depression works.

You can look as though you have everything going right in your life, but still feel everything is wrong.

Depression is like a shadow that dims the brightest of days and cloaks the most vibrant of lives in a shroud of darkness. It’s a complex and multifaceted mental health condition that can affect anyone, regardless of their external circumstances or perceived successes.

Depression doesn’t discriminate based on wealth, status, or achievements – it can silently infiltrate the minds and hearts of individuals from all walks of life.

At first glance, it may seem paradoxical – how can someone who appears to have it all be consumed by such overwhelming sadness and despair? Yet, the reality is that depression often lurks beneath the surface, hidden behind carefully curated facades and painted smiles.

It’s not always visible to the outside world, and those grappling with depression may go to great lengths to conceal their inner turmoil behind a mask of “I’m ok, thank you for asking.” When in actuality they, like my friend, are battling dark demons every single day!

On the surface, their lives may seem picture-perfect – successful careers, loving relationships, material wealth – yet, internally, they may be battling a constant sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can distort one’s perception of reality, making it difficult to find joy in life’s pleasures or see a way out of the darkness.

It’s important to understand that depression is not a reflection of personal weakness or failure. It’s a complex interplay of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors that can disrupt brain chemistry and mood regulation.

Despite outward appearances, those struggling with depression may be fighting an uphill battle against their own minds every single day. And that is absolutely exhausting! Can you imagine battling your own mind and thoughts all the time? The weariness that brings? Some days it works, other days – not so much.

The stigma surrounding mental illness often exacerbates the suffering of those with depression. They may fear judgment, rejection, or misunderstanding from others, leading them to suffer in silence and isolate themselves further.

The misconception that “having it all” should equate to happiness only adds to the burden of guilt and shame that many individuals with depression carry. We all need to be less judgmental as we do not know what is going on in the minds of those around us.

It’s crucial to recognize that depression is a real and debilitating illness that requires compassion, understanding, and support. It’s not enough to judge someone’s well-being based solely on external markers of success or happiness.

Instead, we must strive to create a culture of empathy and acceptance, where individuals feel safe to seek help without fear of stigma or shame.

Ultimately, depression teaches us that appearances can be deceiving and that true understanding lies beneath the surface. It reminds us to look beyond the outward façade and extend kindness and empathy to those who may be silently struggling.

Because no matter how well someone’s life may appear on the surface, they may still be in the grip of depression, yearning for a glimmer of hope to guide them through the darkness.

imagecredit:insprepositive

 

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Waking up sad…

Mornings can be hard…

It is reasonably common for me to wake up feeling a bit sad, down or flat. I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way. There is no particular reason or rationale as to why this happens. I just wake up and don’t feel so great.

If I’m up at 5.30am for an early gym session, the sads don’t have much time to take hold. I am up, in my gym gear, grab my water bottle and towel and head out to the gym. Usually by the time the session starts and most certainly when it ends I feel absolutely fine or fantastic depending on how the gym class goes.

The other mornings when I don’t have to leap straight out of bed or when I wake earlier than I need, then it’s like existential dread drops like a veil over my mind and emotions. Sometimes I just go with the sad feeling, get up anyway, lace up my running shoes and head out the door for a 5-6km run. Again, I usually feel better once I’m on my way – says something about the power of exercise on mental health and wellbeing.

Other mornings I just can’t. And that’s ok too. I’ll stay in bed a while longer, feel like crap (again no real reason as to why) and then get up and get on with my day whatever that may bring. I always try to take my dog to the park as it’s good for him and my spirits lift when I see him galloping around with his ears flapping in the air!

Sometimes my spirits may lift as the day progresses, occasionally they do not. So I just sit with the sad feelings knowing that they do pass.

Occasionally I wake up feeling wonderful, happy and full of joy. Again, no idea why that happens, but I am more than grateful when it does.

To counter the waking up sads, I exercise every morning, which really helps me re-set my mind. For the mornings where it is more of a struggle I try other things like positive affirmations & gratitude lists – I have varying success with that.

On one of my favourite podcasts (click the link to go there if you like) I heard about another podcast/app called Wake Me Up: Morning Meditation & Motivations (click the link for the Spotify version or this link for the Apple version). The guy talking you through the sessions is Tyler Brown (he has a lovely soothing voice) and there are a series of meditations, motivational sessions or yoga/stretching options. The free version is great, except you have ads at the beginning which can be a bit jarring. There is a subscribe option, but I’m sticking with the free for now.

I don’t know why, but I find (and I’ve only been using the app this week and I’m not getting paid to say any of this, just offering options for people who may feel bleh in the a.m.) that it actually helps. The sessions are only 10-15 minutes long, so not too long to interfere with getting your day on the move, but long enough to refocus and re-set your mind and emotions for the day.

Give it a go and see what you think 🥰 🤗

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