love – 60plus and loving life

you deserve to be happy!

By 60plus&lovinglife October 20, 2024 0

What does a relationship mean to you?

For me, it’s being with someone who is my best friend and loved partner.

When you wake up and you’ve been holding hands during the night, because you always reach out for each other, even in sleep.

You both get up and it’s a fresh, bright and wonderful new morning, full of hope and possibilities.

You laugh and talk as you make breakfast together. Maybe pancakes or french toast with cinnamon sugar. Maybe eggs or porridge with honey and fresh berries.

And coffee, nice strong coffee.

It’s a special part of the day to share and it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Do you go on a hike? Or go back to bed for a while? 😉 take the dogs for a walk or both head to the gym to workout.

The day can take any turn you like. But you’ve set a beautiful start.

That’s what my best friend and partner would want – with me and I with them 💕

My person willingly and happily shares the household labour, freeing us up to have more quality time together. Knowing that the chores do not belong to any one person.

My person would never expect me to bear more than my fair share of tasks, because love recognizes that both of us are contributing to something we wish to grow together.

There is no room for being selfish. But there is room to care for ourselves and each other.

He is intuitive and notices if I am down or feeling tired. We both will pick up more of the burden if we notice the other is not quite up to things. It’s nurturing and it’s empathy and it’s genuine love.

We are both ok with needing space and solitude sometimes and allowing each other that grace.

Loving someone is grace, kindness, laughter. It can also be less than that at times, because life is not always rainbows and unicorns.

But we know that and we accept each other and that is our love.

When times are tough, we pull together to work things out. No matter what, we have each other’s back.

For after all, we are kindred souls and we will never lose each other 💕

one can but dream…

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musings about ageing

Finding Joy and Peace in My 60s: A Journey Worth Every Step

By 60plus&lovinglife July 4, 2024 0

Hello lovely people, here I am in my mid 60s, and guess what? I’m genuinely, unabashedly happy.

Yes, it took a while to get here—decades, in fact.

I’ve navigated an emotionally damaging childhood, toxic relationships, work stress that could power a small country, and a couple of serious health scares. But now, I’ve reached a place of peace and joy that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

A Rocky Road to Happiness

Let’s rewind a bit. Picture me as a kid—wide-eyed, full of dreams, and completely unprepared for the emotional rollercoaster that was my childhood.

It wasn’t exactly the stuff of Norman Rockwell paintings. But hey, I survived, and more importantly, I learned a lot about resilience and the power of humor.

After all, if you can laugh in the face of adversity, you’ve already won half the battle.

Fast forward to my adult years, which were a mixed bag of triumphs and tribulations. I had my share of toxic relationships. You know the type—the ones that make you feel like you’re starring in a never-ending soap opera.

And let’s not forget the work stress. Oh, the work stress! It was like juggling flaming swords while riding a unicycle on a tightrope. But through it all, there was a constant source of light and joy: my beautiful, kind-hearted daughter.

The Light of My Life

My daughter is the embodiment of everything good in the world. She’s been my rock, my confidante, and my biggest cheerleader. Even during the darkest times, she was there, shining brightly and reminding me of what really matters.

Her kindness, compassion, and boundless love have been the anchor that kept me grounded. Honestly, I don’t know where I’d be without her.

The Path to Peace and Joy

Now, in my 60s, I’ve finally cracked the code to happiness. Spoiler alert: it involves good boundaries, positive people, and living life on my own terms.

I’ve become a master at setting boundaries—no more energy vampires or drama llamas for me. I surround myself with kind, positive people who lift me up and bring out the best in me.

It’s like curating a personal museum of joy and laughter, and the exhibits are all my wonderful friends and loved ones.

Living life on my own terms means embracing what brings me joy, whether it’s spending time with my daughter, indulging in my hobbies, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with a good book.

It means saying no to things that don’t serve me and yes to the things that do. And let me tell you, it’s incredibly liberating.

The Silver Lining of Aging

They say with age comes wisdom, and I have to agree. In my 60s, I’ve learned to appreciate the little things, to find joy in everyday moments, and to cherish the relationships that truly matter.

I’ve also learned that it’s okay to prioritize myself and my wellbeing. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

And let’s not forget the humour. Oh, the humour! There’s something wonderfully freeing about being able to laugh at life’s absurdities.

Whether it’s the inevitable “senior moments” or the quirks of getting older, laughter has become my secret weapon. It’s like a warm hug for the soul, and I embrace it wholeheartedly.

A Life Well Lived

So here I am, in my 60s, happier than I’ve ever been. It’s been a long, winding road to get here, but every step has been worth it. I’ve learned to keep good boundaries, surround myself with positivity, and live life on my own terms.

And through it all, my daughter remains the light and joy of my life, a constant reminder of love and kindness.

To anyone out there still navigating their own rocky road, take heart. Happiness is within reach, no matter how long it takes to find it.

Keep laughing, keep loving, and most importantly, keep living life on your own terms. You’ve got this!

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Life

life is good, loving life & all that it brings!

By 60plus&lovinglife May 2, 2024 0

Here we are almost half way through the year! Woooo, time surely does fly!

For me, this has been a great year and I am sure it will continue to be fabulous.

Last year was a bit of a dumpster fire healthwise and slowed me down a tad. But not entirely, I still kept up my dancing and gym and running in amongst it all. I think all of those things kept me going both physically and for my emotional wellbeing.

I also surround myself with the best people. My friends and family (most notably my daughter) and my partner are the most supportive and beautiful humans you could ever wish to have in your life.

I finally learned to keep my boundaries strong and to recognise early on any toxic, negative people and to either keep them at a distance or gently remove them from my life.

I don’t do drama. I do not welcome aggressive or negative people in my life. They are welcome to be whoever they wish to be – but at a nice, healthy distance from me!

My partner is an absolute delight. He is gentle and warmhearted, kind, smart, unique, funny and adorable!

We have a lot in common and he is also my dance partner. He loves my dog and cat and that to me, is also the measure of a good man.

My dance friends are wonderful. Their energy and enthusiasm buoy me up whenever I am in their company. You cannot feel sad when you are on the dance floor! My dance teachers are also wonderful people – they are warm and welcoming.

They are supporting a lovely couple who joined relatively recently, picked up the moves quickly and recently won a couple of National titles. This couple are aiming for the world titles and our dance teachers are running a fundraising dance for them with full support from everyone in our community so we can send them across the country to compete! We all love Brooke & Pete – they are the loveliest couple you could ever wish to meet and we will all be wishing them the very best at the World Championship!

My gym buddies and trainers are likewise awesome people. They continually give me courage and strength to keep going and to aim for my strength and fitness goals. It is very much a community of likeminded people and we are welcoming of all newcomers and supportive of everyone, regardless of where they are at in their fitness & strength journey.

I retired early this year and it is the best decision and I wish I had done it earlier. I am loving living my life at my own, gentler pace. I am quite busy, but I have time and can make time to look after my wellbeing and take the occasional nap whenever I feel like it!

Apart from dancing, running & the gym. I am volunteering with my dog (George the Therapy Dog) doing one-off visits. I also volunteer with a cat rescue organisation and drive kittens and abandoned cats to carers and foster homes. I have also been volunteering with a refugee organisation. Basically, I am almost more busy than I was when working. However, it’s a type of busy that I enjoy and I have fun doing.

I occasionally work at my friend’s gym – on an ad-hoc basis. Usually, when she has other commitments and I can step in – again, only when it fits in with my life and my commitments.

All up, life is really good and I am happy and content. You really can’t ask for much more from life!

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Life

When you fall, I will pick you up…

By 60plus&lovinglife April 12, 2024 0

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, she has depression and some days she finds it really hard to get out of bed and start her day.

I feel her pain.

Some mornings are like that. You awaken feeling flat or down for no apparent reason.

You lie in bed and feel the weight of everything and nothing holding you down like a weighted blanket (but not the good kind).

My friend teaches part-time, usually in the mornings. That has become her lifeline. She gets up and gets going so as to not let down her students.

What is your lifeline? What gets you up in the morning? And what can you do if it all feels too hard?

Many people still don’t understand depression.

Another friend was puzzled by his friend who had severe depression, he said – “he had a lovely wife and home and job, there was no reason for him to be depressed.”

But that’s not how depression works.

You can look as though you have everything going right in your life, but still feel everything is wrong.

Depression is like a shadow that dims the brightest of days and cloaks the most vibrant of lives in a shroud of darkness. It’s a complex and multifaceted mental health condition that can affect anyone, regardless of their external circumstances or perceived successes.

Depression doesn’t discriminate based on wealth, status, or achievements – it can silently infiltrate the minds and hearts of individuals from all walks of life.

At first glance, it may seem paradoxical – how can someone who appears to have it all be consumed by such overwhelming sadness and despair? Yet, the reality is that depression often lurks beneath the surface, hidden behind carefully curated facades and painted smiles.

It’s not always visible to the outside world, and those grappling with depression may go to great lengths to conceal their inner turmoil behind a mask of “I’m ok, thank you for asking.” When in actuality they, like my friend, are battling dark demons every single day!

On the surface, their lives may seem picture-perfect – successful careers, loving relationships, material wealth – yet, internally, they may be battling a constant sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can distort one’s perception of reality, making it difficult to find joy in life’s pleasures or see a way out of the darkness.

It’s important to understand that depression is not a reflection of personal weakness or failure. It’s a complex interplay of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors that can disrupt brain chemistry and mood regulation.

Despite outward appearances, those struggling with depression may be fighting an uphill battle against their own minds every single day. And that is absolutely exhausting! Can you imagine battling your own mind and thoughts all the time? The weariness that brings? Some days it works, other days – not so much.

The stigma surrounding mental illness often exacerbates the suffering of those with depression. They may fear judgment, rejection, or misunderstanding from others, leading them to suffer in silence and isolate themselves further.

The misconception that “having it all” should equate to happiness only adds to the burden of guilt and shame that many individuals with depression carry. We all need to be less judgmental as we do not know what is going on in the minds of those around us.

It’s crucial to recognize that depression is a real and debilitating illness that requires compassion, understanding, and support. It’s not enough to judge someone’s well-being based solely on external markers of success or happiness.

Instead, we must strive to create a culture of empathy and acceptance, where individuals feel safe to seek help without fear of stigma or shame.

Ultimately, depression teaches us that appearances can be deceiving and that true understanding lies beneath the surface. It reminds us to look beyond the outward façade and extend kindness and empathy to those who may be silently struggling.

Because no matter how well someone’s life may appear on the surface, they may still be in the grip of depression, yearning for a glimmer of hope to guide them through the darkness.

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Relationships

Love Doesn’t Leave You Traumatized: Understanding the Difference

By 60plus&lovinglife March 28, 2024 0

In the journey of love, it’s not uncommon to encounter experiences that leave scars on our hearts.

However, it’s essential to recognize that true love doesn’t leave you traumatized. Whatever happened to you was not love; it was something else entirely.

Love is meant to uplift, empower, and nurture us. It’s a force that brings out the best in us, encourages growth, and fosters a deep sense of connection.

But when we find ourselves in situations that leave us feeling broken, hurt, and traumatized, it’s crucial to understand that it wasn’t love at play.

So, what exactly happened?

Often, what we perceive as love is a distorted version of it – a toxic relationship, an abusive dynamic, or a one-sided affair.

These experiences can leave lasting scars, affecting our self-worth, confidence, and ability to trust again. But it’s essential to remember that these experiences were not a reflection of love but rather a distortion of it.

True love is built on a foundation of respect, trust, and mutual understanding. It’s about honoring each other’s boundaries, supporting one another’s dreams, and being there through the highs and lows of life.

It’s about seeing each other for who we truly are and accepting each other unconditionally.

When love is genuine, it doesn’t leave you feeling traumatized. Instead, it helps you heal, grow, and become the best version of yourself.

It’s a source of strength and comfort, a sanctuary in a world filled with chaos and uncertainty.

If you’ve been through a traumatic experience in the name of love, it’s essential to seek healing and support.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and empower you, and don’t be afraid to seek professional help if needed. Remember that you deserve to be loved in a way that honors and respects you – anything less is not love.

As you navigate your journey of healing, remember that true love exists, and it’s worth waiting for.

It may take time to find the right person who cherishes and values you, but when you do, it will be worth the wait.

Love shouldn’t leave you traumatized; it should leave you feeling cherished, valued, and whole.

So, hold onto hope, believe in the power of love, and never settle for anything less than you deserve.

You are worthy of a love that lifts you up, supports you, and brings you joy – don’t ever forget that.

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Relationships

Vibing with the right person…

By 60plus&lovinglife March 16, 2024 0

What is astonishingly good is when you connect with someone and you can have an actual conversation with them.

A real, genuine – goes two ways conversation!

I know, right?!?

Not just listening to some bore droning on about the minutiae of their life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all happy to have someone share their day-to-day with me. I can listen, be empathetic and engaged.

I’m talking about that person that literally drones on & on, barely pausing for breath and showing scant interest in you or what is going on in your life.

The one-way monologue.

The bore-fest of “me, me, me” and all their woes, constant negativity. and victimhood. Never owning their own actions, blaming absolutely everybody else in their life for everything that has gone wrong for them.

Not for one minute showing any insight into their own self-inflicted drama.

The one who gossips about absolutely everyone else and telling your everybody’s secrets and private information that you really do not want to know about.

For damn sure, they are now gossiping about you! Trust me, he who gossips and bitches about others, will be spreading your private life to anyone who will take the time to listen!

After a number of dud relationships, I am so happy I have a connection with a genuine human with whom I can have engaging and thoughtful conversations. We have shared values and can talk politics and the state of the world and know our world view is aligned.

He is mindful and smart, well read and always keen to learn more. He is open to looking at things from other perspectives. He never gossips and does not bitch about other people. Such a breath of fresh air!

It is delightful to spend time with him exploring our thoughts and ideas and sharing things we have read about and valuing each other’s perspective on life.

You have no idea how lovely it is to have this kind of relationship, for me it is rare. It’s like a caring, genuine friendship and love connection all wrapped up together and it truly warms my heart.

The last time I had anything similar to this was my first husband who sadly died 27 years ago.

I have peace of mind, I am happy as a lark and life is fine and dandy🥰

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Relationships

Someday…

By 60plus&lovinglife March 7, 2024 0

It really is true.

Sometimes we give our love to the very wrong people.

And eventually we realize.

We understand that our love has been wasted on the narcissists, the negative/emotionally abusive ones, the emotionally distant ones and those that are just incapable of showing love.

Then along comes someone who is truly worthy of sharing our love. The person who just ‘gets’ you, the person who shares your sense of humour, the person who has the time to listen and understand who you are and the life journey you have been travelling and you understand theirs and there is no judgement.

Those conversations that start and spark ideas & thoughts and then suddenly several hours have passed and you look at each other and you just know.

Someone with common values and beliefs. Someone who is caring towards other people and animals.

That person, who when you look at them, you think “yes, it’s you.”

Then you know that life just got a heck of a lot better and the journey ahead will be fun & adventurous and full of shared experiences.

Let go of the ones who are not right for you and move towards the one who is meant to be in your life.

It is all a learning experience, sometimes it’s a bit hard and not what we wanted to have to deal with and survive. But look at you! You have survived and now you are thriving – go get it! ❤️❤️

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Life

Elevating Your Vibration: The Power of Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

By 60plus&lovinglife February 4, 2024 0

In the intricate dance of life, our energy intertwines with the energies of those around us, shaping our experiences, influencing our emotions, and sculpting our reality.

It’s a delicate balance, a harmonious symphony of vibrations that can either uplift our spirits or weigh us down like anchors in a stormy sea.

For many of us, the importance of surrounding ourselves with high vibrational people cannot be overstated. These individuals radiate positivity, exude light, and inspire us to reach higher, dream bigger, and live more authentically.

They are the kindred spirits who lift us up when we falter, who celebrate our successes as if they were their own, and who infuse our lives with joy, laughter, and boundless love.

Yet, amidst the beauty of connection and the warmth of friendship, there exists a darker reality—one that often goes unnoticed, yet leaves a profound impact on our physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

It is the reality of negative energy, of toxic relationships, and of souls adrift in a sea of despair.

For those who find themselves lost and mired within their own negativity, my heart goes out to you. I understand the depths of despair, the suffocating weight of pessimism, and the relentless cycle of self-doubt and fear.

You are stuck there, tangled in the web of negativity, struggling to find your way back to the light.

But here’s the truth: we owe it to ourselves to prioritize our physical and emotional well-being above all else.

We owe it to ourselves to surround ourselves with people who nourish our souls, uplift our spirits, and ignite our passion for life.

And sometimes, that means letting go of those who drag us down with their negative energy.

I know it’s not easy. I know the guilt, the doubt, and the heartache that comes with setting boundaries and walking away from toxic relationships.

But here’s the thing: when we have strong boundaries, negative people will push and try to break through those boundaries. They do not like it when they cannot, and it infuriates them.

But stay strong, lovely people, for you’ve got this, and I’m here for you. Surround yourself with those who see your worth, who celebrate your light, and who honor the beauty of your soul.

Surround yourself with high vibrational people who challenge you to grow, who inspire you to shine, and who remind you of the limitless potential that resides within you.

And for those who are struggling, who feel trapped in the shadows of their own despair, know that you are not alone.

Know that there is hope, there is light, and there is a way out of the darkness. Reach out, seek support, and surround yourself with love, for you deserve nothing less than the radiant warmth of a soul set free.

In the end, it’s not about cutting ties or burning bridges; it’s about honoring your truth, honoring your worth, and honoring the sacred journey of self-discovery and self-love.

It’s about embracing the beauty of authenticity, the power of vulnerability, and the transformative magic of connection.

So let us rise together, hand in hand, heart in heart, as we journey towards a brighter tomorrow—a tomorrow filled with love, laughter, and the unshakeable certainty that no matter where life may lead us, we are always surrounded by the gentle embrace of those who believe in us, who uplift us, and who remind us of the extraordinary power of the human spirit.

Stay strong, stay true, and remember: the light within you shines brighter than any darkness that may try to dim its glow. You’ve got this, and I’m here for you, every step of the way.

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health and fitness

Embracing Life: Celebrating Victory Over Breast Cancer

By 60plus&lovinglife January 31, 2024February 29, 2024 0

In the grand narrative of life, there are chapters that test our resilience, chapters that redefine our strength, and chapters that celebrate our triumphs. Today, as I sit down to share my story, I find myself basking in the radiant glow of victory, for I am officially free from breast cancer.

The journey has been nothing short of tumultuous, a rollercoaster of emotions, fears, and hopes. Yet, through the darkest nights and the brightest days, I have not merely survived; I have thrived. With unwavering determination and boundless courage, I confronted each obstacle head-on, refusing to let adversity define me.

Just recently, I received the long-awaited results from my PET & CT scans and blood tests—a testament to the relentless pursuit of healing and the power of resilience. No sign of breast cancer! *happy dance*

The non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, once scattered throughout my abdominal area like ominous clouds, has regressed. Several nodes have shrunk, one has vanished entirely, leaving behind whispers of hope and whispers of gratitude.

Yet, amidst the triumph, there lingers one stubborn node, a reminder that life’s battles are not always easily won. But as they say, there’s always one, isn’t there?

In this moment of celebration, I find myself overwhelmed with gratitude, for I have not walked this path alone. To my healthcare providers, whose care and remarkable skill have been beacons of light in the darkest of times, I extend my deepest appreciation. Your unwavering dedication has been the cornerstone of my journey, guiding me towards healing and restoration.

To my gym trainers and gym buddies, who stood by me through the toughest of workouts and the most challenging of days, your encouragement fueled my spirit and strengthened my resolve. In your company, I found solace and strength, forging bonds that transcend mere friendship.

To my beautiful daughter, my rock amidst the raging storm, your love and unwavering support have been my greatest source of strength. In your eyes, I found the courage to press on, to fight fiercely, and to never lose sight of the beauty that lies beyond the shadows.

And to my dance community and friends, whose laughter and camaraderie lit up even the darkest of nights, your unwavering support and boundless love lifted my spirits and carried me through the storm. In your company, I found the courage to dance amidst the rain, to embrace life’s melodies, and to celebrate each precious moment.

As I stand on the threshold of a new beginning, I am reminded that life’s greatest victories are not measured by the battles we win, but by the love we share, the friendships we cherish, and the moments we hold dear. In the tapestry of life, every thread, every triumph, and every tear, weaves together to form the masterpiece of our existence.

Today, as I embrace the warmth of the sun and the gentle caress of the wind, I am reminded of the beauty that lies within each moment, the magic that resides within each heartbeat.

In my life, amidst the laughter and the tears, there lies the promise of a new beginning, a promise of hope, and a promise of love.

And so, as I bid farewell to the shadows of yesterday and embrace the light of tomorrow, I do so with a heart full of gratitude, a spirit renewed, and a soul ablaze with the fire of resilience.

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Life

Dancing with Resilience: A Message of Hope for Those Overcoming Trauma

By 60plus&lovinglife January 25, 2024 0

In the vast ocean of life, many of us find ourselves navigating tumultuous waves, facing the challenges of trauma that threaten to pull us under.

Today, I want to share a message of hope, inspired by the profound wisdom that lies in the saying, “Dance with the waves, move with the sea, let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.”

I want to dedicate this post to the beautiful souls who have triumphed over trauma and to those who are still entangled in the nets of pain. Many of you have reached out to me and I hear you and I am here for you. Take care and be gentle with yourself, you deserve loving kindness.

There is a promise of light at the end of the tunnel, and I wish you kindness, love, blessings, and, above all else, peace.

The Ocean of Life

Life, much like the vast expanse of the ocean, is filled with highs and lows, calm moments, and stormy seas.

For those who have experienced trauma, it often feels like being caught in a tempest that threatens to drown us. Yet, within the chaos, there lies an inherent rhythm—a rhythm that, when embraced, can lead us to liberation.

Dancing with the Waves

“Dance with the waves.” It’s an invitation to engage with life’s challenges, not as adversaries, but as partners in a cosmic dance.

When we learn to move with the ebb and flow of our experiences, acknowledging the pain without letting it define us, we discover an inner resilience that allows us to ride the waves with grace.

Moving with the Sea

“Move with the sea.” It’s a call to surrender to the currents of life, recognizing that resistance often intensifies the struggle.

By moving with the sea, we release the need for control, allowing the natural forces to guide us. In doing so, we find a sense of acceptance that becomes the foundation for healing.

Let the Rhythm Set Your Soul Free

“Let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.” In the dance of life, there’s a rhythm that transcends the chaos—a rhythm that, when embraced, leads to freedom.

It’s a freedom born from the understanding that, despite the pain, our souls have an innate ability to heal and rediscover joy.

For the Beautiful Souls

This message is for the beautiful souls who have experienced trauma and have emerged as resilient warriors.

Your strength is an inspiration, and your journey is a testament to the transformative power of the human spirit.

Your scars tell a story of survival, and your light shines as a beacon of hope for others navigating stormy seas.

A Promise of Light

To those who are still caught in the nets of pain, I want to offer a promise: there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The storms may rage, but they do not last forever. Your capacity to endure is greater than you realize, and as you dance with the waves, you’ll discover an inner strength that guides you towards the serenity you deserve.

Wishing You Peace

I wish you all kindness, love, blessings, and, above all else, peace.

May the dance of life lead you to a place of healing, and may the rhythm of your soul set you free from the depths of pain.

You are not alone, and there is a community of support ready to embrace you as you navigate the seas of life.

So, my beautiful souls, dance with resilience, move with acceptance, and let the rhythm of healing waters set your soul free. The journey may be challenging, but there is a symphony of hope playing just beyond the waves. Embrace it, and may your life be filled with the harmonious melodies of peace and recovery.

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