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The Liberating Act of Closing the Door on Negativity: Embracing a Life of Positivity
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The Liberating Act of Closing the Door on Negativity: Embracing a Life of Positivity

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Life is a journey – some of it difficult, some easy. Our path twists & turns and occasionally doubles back on itself. The people that we choose to allow into our lives can have a profound impact on our life journey and our emotional wellbeing.

In my journey, I’ve come to appreciate the profound benefits that come from firmly closing the door on negative people, those who emit low vibrations and seldom seek the help they need.

Instead, I’ve made the conscious choice to surround myself with loving, kind, warm, giving, and positive individuals who uplift my spirit and nurture my well-being. The transformation has been nothing short of extraordinary, and I’m eager to share the profound impact of this decision on my life.

Negativity has a way of seeping into our lives like a slow, creeping fog. It can be subtle, at first, like a whisper in the back of our minds, but if left unchecked, it can envelop us in a shroud of doubt, anxiety, and unhappiness.

These are the low vibrational energies that often emanate from negative people—individuals who may be struggling with their own demons but rarely seek the help they need.

For far too long, I allowed these negative forces to infiltrate my life, draining my energy and clouding my perspective.

It was a heavy burden to bear, and I realized that I needed to make a change. I needed to close the door on negativity and create space for the positivity that I deserved.

The act of firmly shutting that door was both liberating and empowering. It was a declaration that I valued my own well-being, and I refused to let anyone, or anything jeopardize it.

It was a statement that I would no longer be a receptacle for the negative energy of others.

By doing so, I created room for a different kind of energy—the warm, loving, and positive vibrations of people who genuinely care for my well-being.

These individuals radiated kindness and positivity, and their presence brought with it a sense of peace and contentment that I had long yearned for.

Surrounding myself with loving and kind individuals has had a transformative effect on my life. Their positivity is infectious, and it has seeped into every corner of my existence. It has bolstered my confidence, enhanced my mental and emotional well-being, and reignited my zest for life.

In their company, I have rediscovered the joy of simple pleasures, the beauty in everyday moments, and the power of genuine human connection.

They have become my support system, my cheerleaders, and my confidants, offering unwavering encouragement in times of need and celebration during moments of triumph.

While I believe that negativity is often a cry for help, it’s a journey that individuals must embark on themselves.

We can extend a hand and offer assistance, but ultimately, they must choose to seek the help they need to break free from the shackles of negativity. Until then, we must prioritize our own well-being and protect our positive energy.

Life is a beautiful thing when you firmly close the door to negativity and no longer allow it to seep into your life.

It’s a conscious choice to surround yourself with love, kindness, warmth, and positivity—a choice that has the power to transform your existence from one of darkness and doubt to one of light and limitless potential.

As I bask in the warm embrace of positive energies, I am reminded that we have the agency to curate our own lives.

We can choose who we allow in, and by surrounding ourselves with loving, kind, and positive individuals, we create a life filled with joy, love, and the profound beauty of positivity.

Sending you all peace, love, and light.

AI image of a woman in a forest with the light shining through the trees
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mainimagecredit:HarmeetKaur

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How to stop a narcissist in their tracks!
Relationships

How to stop a narcissist in their tracks!

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Disengage. Ignore. Give them no oxygen. 

According to the Mayo Clinic: “Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.”(Mayo Clinic )

If you ever have the misfortune of being involved with such a person. Run.

Things to look out for that indicate this type of personality – some of these I know from personal experience interacting with such personalities, other indicators come from well-regarded research:

  1. They have an unreasonably high sense of self-importance and require constant, excessive admiration (Mayo Clinic);
  2. Controlling behaviour (trying to tell you what to wear or what not to wear, isolating you from friends and/or family);
  3. Consider themselves superior to everyone around them;
  4. Manipulative behaviour. “when a person uses controlling and harmful behaviors to avoid responsibility, conceal their true intentions, or cause doubt and confusion. Manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting, lying, blaming, criticizing, and shaming, can be incredibly damaging to a person’s psychological well-being” Very Well Health
  5. Throw temper tantrums to get their own way;
  6. Self aggrandizement – make themselves sound important, even when they are not;
  7. Be critical of everyone else;
  8. Take advantage of other people;
  9. Lie to get what they want – literally, they will lie about anything to get their own way;
  10. Belittle other people to make themselves feel superior (Mayo Clinic)

Often narcissists suffer crippling low self-esteem (even when aiming to appear superior), they are riddled with insecurities and often self-loathing.

They have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, humiliation and fear of being exposed as a failure. (Mayo Clinic)

There is a common misconception that narcissists target weaker personalities in order to control and damage them. However, a narcissist will often target intelligent and emotionally strong people, they see it as a challenge. If they can control, subdue and damage the self-esteem of a strong person, then the narcissist feels better about themselves. As if they have confirmed their perceived “superiority.”

These people need treatment, yet they are unlikely to recognize their own behaviour. They lack insight and self-awareness and they blame everyone else for their problems, they try to make themselves out to be the victim. Literally. They never acknowledge that they may be in the wrong and they never apologize for poor behaviour.

On a final note, this is what the Mayo Clinic has to say:

“People with narcissistic personality disorder may not want to think that anything could be wrong, so they usually don’t seek treatment. If they do seek treatment, it’s more likely to be for symptoms of depression, drug or alcohol misuse, or another mental health problem. What they view as insults to self-esteem may make it difficult to accept and follow through with treatment.”

That is really sad. Sad for the narcissist as they desperately need treatment and, in spite of their damaging behaviour, they are often depressed, moody and unhappy and suffer lifelong misery. Sad for the people that unfortunately get entangled with a narcissist as they will be emotionally damaged by the encounter.

Unless you are particularly mentally strong, recognize the behaviour and take action to keep yourself safe. Run. Run and don’t look back. Disengage. Ignore. Give them no oxygen.

compulsive liar traits

 

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Waking up sad…
health and fitness

Waking up sad…

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Mornings can be hard…

It is reasonably common for me to wake up feeling a bit sad, down or flat. I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way. There is no particular reason or rationale as to why this happens. I just wake up and don’t feel so great.

If I’m up at 5.30am for an early gym session, the sads don’t have much time to take hold. I am up, in my gym gear, grab my water bottle and towel and head out to the gym. Usually by the time the session starts and most certainly when it ends I feel absolutely fine or fantastic depending on how the gym class goes.

The other mornings when I don’t have to leap straight out of bed or when I wake earlier than I need, then it’s like existential dread drops like a veil over my mind and emotions. Sometimes I just go with the sad feeling, get up anyway, lace up my running shoes and head out the door for a 5-6km run. Again, I usually feel better once I’m on my way – says something about the power of exercise on mental health and wellbeing.

Other mornings I just can’t. And that’s ok too. I’ll stay in bed a while longer, feel like crap (again no real reason as to why) and then get up and get on with my day whatever that may bring. I always try to take my dog to the park as it’s good for him and my spirits lift when I see him galloping around with his ears flapping in the air!

Sometimes my spirits may lift as the day progresses, occasionally they do not. So I just sit with the sad feelings knowing that they do pass.

Occasionally I wake up feeling wonderful, happy and full of joy. Again, no idea why that happens, but I am more than grateful when it does.

To counter the waking up sads, I exercise every morning, which really helps me re-set my mind. For the mornings where it is more of a struggle I try other things like positive affirmations & gratitude lists – I have varying success with that.

On one of my favourite podcasts (click the link to go there if you like) I heard about another podcast/app called Wake Me Up: Morning Meditation & Motivations (click the link for the Spotify version or this link for the Apple version). The guy talking you through the sessions is Tyler Brown (he has a lovely soothing voice) and there are a series of meditations, motivational sessions or yoga/stretching options. The free version is great, except you have ads at the beginning which can be a bit jarring. There is a subscribe option, but I’m sticking with the free for now.

I don’t know why, but I find (and I’ve only been using the app this week and I’m not getting paid to say any of this, just offering options for people who may feel bleh in the a.m.) that it actually helps. The sessions are only 10-15 minutes long, so not too long to interfere with getting your day on the move, but long enough to refocus and re-set your mind and emotions for the day.

Give it a go and see what you think 🥰 🤗

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Gratitude
health and fitness

Gratitude

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What does gratitude look like to you?

Everyone talks about gratitude and how to include gratefulness into your everyday life. Whether that’s thinking of 5 things to be grateful for when you wake up or recalling 5 things from the day when you go to sleep. You can even buy a “gratitude journal” to record and review your thoughts.

I try to remember to incorporate thoughts of gratitude most days. Some days are easier. For example, when it’s a lovely sunny day or something goes well in my daily life or my dog looks at me in that cute, doggie way!

When I was younger the thought of gratitude was not high on my list. I had a lot of resentments about life. Why did my relationships always end (and often end badly), why couldn’t I hang on to someone? Why were my jobs so difficult? I had many great career opportunities in my mid life, but the early years were difficult, heck so were some of my career choices! I’ve also had my fair share of mean or bullying bosses and that can make your work life intolerable.

I often used to say to myself that if either my work life or my relationship life were ok, then I was fine. But if both fell apart, then life became overwhelming! There were times when both did spectacularly fall apart and I’d be left reeling.

At one point I went to see a psychologist to try and figure things out with some counselling. They said I was smart enough to figure things out for myself (really? then why was I in their office seeking help?) I got sent home with a bunch of articles and notes on books I should read. The one takeaway that I found of value was the concept of daily gratitude.

Initially it was a struggle to find things that invoked gratitude, but it did become easier over time. Although it is always easier if life is being reasonable! However, it is definitely worth it when life is complex and difficult.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and that diagnosis actually helped a lot. It made sense of things and I finally understood that constant feeling of underlying dread and fear that has been a constant thread in my life. I try to maintain a “drama” free lifestyle and I prefer to not have people or situations in my life that create mayhem and havoc. Sometimes it is unavoidable and I have had people who are manipulative and controlling trying to have a negative impact on my life.

However, I am way better at identifying this behaviour from the get-go and that really changes my response. I create a safe space within my mind and my heart that allows me the distance needed to understand what is going on and to recognize that it is not about me, it’s about them! ❤️

 

 

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