random thoughts...

Ugly comments & how to deal with the unhinged!

By Posted on 0 4 m read
image of a woman in a forest

Tips on what to do when people are toxic liars and a couple stories to share with you

Writing a public blog is a wonderful way to express yourself, be creative and have your voice heard. I highly recommend anyone wanting to write on a topic or topics close to their heart to start one.This is my second blog, and it has become really successful since I launched it last October.

The feedback I get is extremely positive and is encouraging me to continue writing and sharing my voice with you all.

I would like to say a sincere thank you to the many of you who leave beautiful and heartfelt comments. I hear you and I appreciate you and I care about you 🥰

Pretty much all my readers & subscribers find my words relatable, and of value. And that is exactly what I was aiming for when I began writing my blog. Especially given I range from topics as diverse as relationship issues, health & wellbeing, my own cancer journey and return to wellbeing, and of course, my therapy dog George!

However, like with anything when you put yourself out there, particularly online, there is the potential danger of trolls leaving nasty comments. Fortunately, I moderate my blog and I choose not to publish nasty, ugly words or comments that malign my nature or myself as a human being. Because it is my blog afterall and I have the choice to not put negative energy out there!

Steps to dealing with trolls:

For those of you new to blogging or considering blogging and having concerns about trolls, here are some things you can do.

  1. Make sure you set-up your blog to allow you to moderate comments. That means that comments go to a part of your blog that only you can see. You are the Admin of your blog and you can set it up to work the way you want it to.
  2. If you get vile and nasty comments. DO NOT RESPOND. Like literally, no matter how mean or callous or untruthful, do not give the troll or trolls any oxygen. Let the narcissists & flying monkeys vent their spleen. If you respond it will only spiral into even more ugliness.
  3. Read the comments, delete the comments.
  4. It sounds simple, but I know some of you will struggle. It is difficult to be the brunt of someone’s anger and hatred. However, keep in mind that it is their problem, not yours.
  5. You know your intrinsic worth as a human being, your loved ones know you and love you. Other people’s ridiculous opinions are simply that, ridiculous.

Some of the garbage comments that garbage humans have written to me:

Some of the stupid comments I have received literally make no sense whatsoever and do leave me a bit baffled and scratching my head.

I guess people just have too much time on their hands and look for someone who they think is an easy target and then get busy on their keyboards!

Below are a couple of examples and I easily debunk them and prove them for what they are – outright lies made by disturbed people.

There was a comment from a troll accusing me of having a “criminal record” (amongst many other weird & bizarre accusations). Seriously! No idea why or in what context they thought that made any gosh darned sense, maybe they think all Bloggers are sketchy? I don’t know. 🤷

But it is an outright falsehood and easily proven to be a lie (my friends & family were howling with laughter when I told them.)

I worked in education for over 20 years, and I have been a volunteer with a literacy program, a dementia facility and at childcare centres, primary (elementary) and high schools. My workplaces and volunteer organizations require what we call here in Australia a “National Police Clearance Check” – basically a criminal record check – mine is clear, as in, I do not have a criminal record and never have. I also have a Working with Children Card – which again requires a National Police check as I volunteer at schools with my therapy dog.

The comment went on to accuse my ex-husband as well – again no idea why such unhinged commentary was written. First up, I’ve been married twice. My first husband died in 1997 and he is not around to clear his good name, but I am in touch with his lovely sister and for sure she would be stunned at such rank & disturbing lies. My second husband and I are still friends, he is absolutely an upstanding citizen and would be very shocked to hear that he had been personally attacked. But no-one is safe from these lying scumbags.

Go figure!

But the thing with trolls is that they will tell (generally outrageous and laughable) lies. What their intention may be is unknowable, and I don’t waste any time trying to understand, you cannot fathom the irrational.

Another accusation from a nasty troll was that I “slept with a 20-year-old.” Ummm, that one literally had me rolling on the floor laughing🤣

I am 64 years old and as much as I may be in pretty good shape, I think it highly unlikely that a 20-year-old would be interested in me in that way! I guess I could find that accusation flattering? But again, I literally have no idea as to the purpose of such nonsense comments and I won’t waste my time trying to figure it out.

So, to the trolls and the keyboard warriors – jog on!

Therefore, be mindful that blogging is very much a rewarding activity, but there will always be trolls. Just ignore and keep writing, we need to hear your voice!

Image credit: Ravenwolf

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all about the dog

Therapy dog goes to school!

By Posted on 0 2 m read
dog sitting on an office chair

Hello and I hope you are having a good start to your week!

I’ve spoken before about my dog George. He’s a therapy dog and we volunteer at various places to help people feel better and we’ve even worked with people with dog phobias to assist them overcome their fears.

George is 12 years old now, so he’s basically semi-retired (a bit like myself!). Nowadays we only go to a small number of places each year. We used to volunteer at a dementia facility every weekend, he was the local university’s therapy dog and he has also visited high schools, primary (elementary) schools and childcare centres.

Every year we are invited to a local primary school’s Leadership Day and this year we were again part of the team of people chosen to speak with young people about what leadership means.

I prepped a PowerPoint presentation and put George into his therapy dog harness, collar & lead and we went into three classrooms to talk with the kids.

I also tied in the school’s values within the presentation to make it more meaningful to the children.

The children (and the teachers!) were thrilled to have George visit and after the presentation they all sat is a circle and gave him all the pets and cuddles!

It is just so beautiful to see the interaction between George and the children. He loves it as well, but he does tire more easily these days! (Again, a bit like me!😂)

Hug your dog and your children. Consider volunteering in your community if you have the time and capacity and if you do, I hope you have as much fun as we do!

Love and hugs to you all ❤️

 

woman in a classroom with a therapy dog

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Relationships

Love & Intimacy

By Posted on 0 5 m read
image of a sunset and the words "love & intimacy"

Spoiler alert and warning. This post is about sex. There, you’ve been warned. Read on if you want, scroll by if you don’t.

Have you ever felt that your sexual needs are not being met? That your partner (or ex-partner in my case!) is prioritising their own needs over yours? That you are left lying there every time thinking “what about me?” This can happen to any of us, young or older! But it doesn’t have to be like that, trust me, it really does not!

Conversely, what is it like to meet someone with whom you are so sexually attuned that the lovemaking feels exquisite and deeply & mutually pleasurable? What is it like to be with a man who genuinely values your sexual needs and desires and who gains pleasure from your pleasure? It’s mind-blowing. Read on for two completely different experiences – these are my stories, this has happened to me. You may resonate with one or the other or both. I hope the second story is also your story – you deserve to be loved and valued!

Storytime #1 (this is the sad & bad one):

I had a partner one time (who shall remain nameless, mostly because mentioning his name makes me feel physically and psychically ill). He was THE most sexually selfish man I ever had the misfortune to meet (in retrospect all I can say is “what in the actual was I thinking?” Whilst shaking my head in puzzlement.)

Not only was he unbelievably & utterly selfish, he also used to mock and belittle me when I dared to ask if we could focus on my sexual pleasure, making me feel like there was something wrong with me for asking, the disdain in his voice was demoralizing. His standard response was a cold and callous “do it yourself.”

His favourite position was to brusquely push me over on my side with my back towards him. He literally preferred not to see my face. He also (I kid you not) told me to pretend I was asleep – aka unconscious). He literally did not want me to be engaged in the activity. This is repulsive on so many levels.

I had never in my entire life come across such a selfish, weird, and verging on creepy request. Think about it, “pretend you are asleep”. Do not move, do not make a noise, act like you are not even there. What kind of man thinks that is ok? It is dehumanizing.

Basically, I was not required to be part of things as a living, breathing woman. I could have been anyone or anything.

It all ended badly as these types of one-sided relationships do. Looking back I cannot believe I did not bail at the get-go!

Someone who discounts your humanity in the most intimate and (supposedly) loving of moments is not someone you should keep in your life. Yet pity the poor woman next in line. Because it is a never-ending line of interchangeable women with these types of selfish men.

Let’s move on shall we? This next part is to let you know that it is possible to find someone who is genuine, compassionate, caring, loving and considerate. Never give up and never put up with poor treatment! I have had great lovers too!

Storytime #2  Embracing Bliss: The Empowering Joys of Intimacy with a Caring and Loving Partner

As a woman, the journey of discovering pleasure and intimacy is a deeply personal and empowering experience. I speak from my personal perspective, however I believe that men equally are empowered by such discovery. I have had a partner who was not only loving but also considerate of my needs as I was considerate of his. This has opened the door to a world of exquisite joy and fulfillment. I want to share the joys I have experienced as a woman, embracing the profound connection and empowerment that comes with having sex with a caring and loving partner who cherishes and respects my desires.

A Safe Haven of Trust and Understanding:

Intimacy is a sacred space, it is a safe haven of trust and understanding. Having both our needs acknowledged and respected has built a foundation of trust between us, allowing both of us to surrender to the moment with ease and vulnerability. Knowing that my partner prioritizes my comfort, consent, and pleasure creates an environment where we can freely express ourselves, both physically and emotionally.

Open Communication – The Key to Mind-Blowing Pleasure:

Open communication between partners is the key to unlocking mind-blowing pleasure. Having a caring and loving partner who actively listens to my desires, ensuring that my needs are met is an absolute joy. He has the capacity to communicate his own desires as well, which fosters an environment where exploration and experimentation are welcomed. This level of open communication has not only enhanced our physical pleasure, but it has also strengthened the emotional bond between us.

Exploring the Spectrum of Sensations:

Having a caring partner who understands that our pleasure encompasses a wide spectrum of sensations is absolutely glorious! We both take the time to explore each other’s bodies, finding the touch, caress, or kiss that ignites an electrifying response and oh my goodness, does it ever!

An Intimate Connection Beyond the Physical:

The intimacy shared with a caring and loving partner extends far beyond the physicality of it all. The tender moments that follow, basking in the afterglow, are a testament to the emotional connection we have nurtured with each other. It is during this time that we share whispered words, gentle caresses, and nurturing embraces, strengthening the bond we share. This then becomes a sanctuary of love, tenderness, and emotional intimacy, a place of care, a safe haven.

Self-Discovery and Empowerment:

Through the loving and considerate touch we offer each other, we have embarked on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. This newfound sense of agency extends beyond the bedroom, empowering both of us in all aspects of life. It reminds us that our pleasure matters, and we are deserving of love, respect, and fulfillment. Because we are and so are you!

As a woman, experiencing the joys of intimacy with a caring and loving partner who is considerate of my needs has been a transformative and empowering journey. It has taught me the value of trust, open communication, and self-discovery. It has allowed me to embrace my sensuality, celebrate my body, and find empowerment in expressing my desires.

May we all find partners who cherish, respect, and elevate our experiences, unlocking the boundless joy and fulfillment that lie within the realm of a truly caring and loving connection.

red love heart_love & intimacy is something we all need

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nature makes me happy

A New Adventure: Soaring High in a Hot Air Balloon

By Posted on 0 3 m read
image of the inside of a hot air balloon

A friend suggested we go for a ride in a hot air balloon! Heights have never been my thing, but during this year of chaos, I thought why not?

So what is it like going several thousand feet up in the air in a wicker basket? Picture yourself gently floating above the earth, with the wind as your guide and a panoramic view that leaves you in awe of the beauty of nature. There is a stillness and serenity up there that I have never experienced before – if you get the chance, take the trip, you will not be disappointed!

Pre-Flight Excitement:

We stayed overnight at an AirBnB near the launch site (mostly so we only had to get up around 4.30am for a pre-dawn lift off, rather than drive up from town and getting up at 3am!)

As the morning of our hot air balloon adventure (pre) dawned, anticipation & excitement filled the air. We arrived at the launch site and the sight of the vibrant, colourful balloon being inflated is a magnificent sight to see. The pilot and crew meticulously prepare for the flight, ensuring everything is in perfect order. As we watched the balloon slowly rise, anticipation built, and we were thrilled to embark on this unique and magical journey.

Floating on Cloud Nine:

As we stepped into the balloon’s basket, a sense of wonder and freedom engulfed me. The burner roared to life, and the balloon gently lifted off the ground. A rush of adrenaline surged through my veins as we ascended into the sky. The feeling of weightlessness is truly unparalleled as we left the world behind and become one with the elements.

The Breathtaking Panorama:

My breath was literally taken away as I witnessed the world from a whole new perspective with nothing between me and the air around me and an unencumbered view. The ground below shrunk into a colourful patchwork quilt, revealing nature’s intricate beauty.

view of landscape from a hot air balloon

The sprawling landscapes unfolded before our eyes like a living painting. We definitely managed to photograph & capture some of the awe-inspiring views and a cute selfie as well.

 

We hovered and drifted at around 4,000 feet and as there were a few clouds about, the pilot took us up to 6,500 feet for a few moments so we could “peek above the clouds.” It was absolutely awesome!

Experiencing the stillness:

As we peacefully floated through the sky, we become attuned to the symphony of nature. The tranquil silence, occasionally interrupted by the hissing of the burner meant that we could appreciate the stillness and tranquility and it gave me a complete sense of peace and calm.

The Magical Sunrise:

The flight was made even more enchanting because we experienced it during the golden hours of sunrise. We were surrounded by the warm hues of a rising sun, casting a warm glow on the landscape. The world seemed to hold its breath, and I felt like we became part of a mesmerizing moment where time stood still.

sunrise landscape from a hot air balloon

Meeting new people:

The hot air balloon flight was a shared experience, we shared the ride with several other adventurers. As we glided through the sky, laughter and friendly conversations quietly filled the air. Broken up with long moments of silent awe. And yes there was a marriage proposal on board, a young couple becoming engaged and the rest of us cheering & applauding their special moment – what a beautiful memory for them to have.

The gentle and ever so slightly bumpy landing:

We had a safety and landing briefing before we took off and we knew how to brace and hang on when landing! As the flight neared its end, the pilot skillfully maneuvered the balloon towards a suitable landing spot. We actually lightly grazed some trees on the final few feet (no harm to the trees). Once we landed, I felt a real sense of exhilaration washing over me, happy to be back on solid ground, but still full of a sense of calm, joy and happiness from the experience.

My friend chose the absolute best adventure for the both of us and I am so grateful that they did. The awe at the magnificence of the views and the overwhelming sense of peace and tranquility of being so high above the earth in nothing but a wicker basket.  We even got to help deflate and fold/roll up the balloon afterwards.

@libertyballoons

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random thoughts...

Life is a journey, with many twists & turns!

By Posted on 0 4 m read
Image of a woman in a red dress with a red suitcase standing on the beach

Have you ever felt your life is like a novel, with twists & turns and sometimes ridiculous plot lines?

I have.

In my 64 turns around the sun I have lived multiple lives and reinvented myself over & over again.

It’s been quite the journey.

I feel like I have had so many adventures and so many amazing opportunities. From a gal who started out life in a railway shack in a street and suburb with identical pastel coloured weatherboard (clapboard) cottages (that makes the houses sound cute & romantic, they were not) with the train line running behind the back fence and falling asleep to the sound of trains on the tracks.

A high school drop out who ended up as a university professor and a doctor (not medical, the PhD kind) then ditched all of that to work at her local Bunnings store as the well-being & safety officer. A skinny kid from the wrong side of the tracks whose expectations of life were limited at best and then blew all those expectations out of the water!

I have been married twice, the first time in my teens, the second in my 40s. Widowed once, divorced once. Then throw in a couple more relationships along the way. Some ok, some painful and emotionally abusive.

Add in the mix one amazing, awesome, gorgeous, loving and wonderful daughter and I know I have been truly blessed.

But with each iteration of my life’s journey I found that some of it I have loved, some of it not so much. But that’s ok, it’s all part of the ride and sometimes you just gotta hang onto your hat when the roller coaster flies up, down and around sharp bends.

This morning I was heading to the gym for my 6am spin class. I was driving through a roundabout and I had right of way. I was most of the way through when I got hit by a large SUV. The impact was forceful enough that my car spun around and I ended up facing the opposite direction. That was the most frightening part of the crash, no control and not sure where I’d end up.

The girl who caused the accident was incredibly apologetic, very young and told me she was just heading home (from a night shift). She said she was really tired, half asleep and not concentrating. She literally did not see my car until she hit me.

She kept apologising and she ended up in tears, so I gave her a hug and told her it would all be ok. She was fine, I am fine. Insurance would sort out the damage to our cars. Clearly it was a traumatic incident for her and I didn’t want to make her feel worse. There was no point in my being upset or angry, that really doesn’t help. She needed reassuring. I told her to drive home real careful.

She got home safe.

I’ve spent the day making police reports and insurance claims. I had to swing by my doctor as my lower back was feeling a bit stiff and sore and this evening my neck is also feeling a bit stiff and sore.

I’ll see how I pull up in the morning, hopefully I’ll be fine after a good night’s rest (and a soak in a hot bath).

I often think about how our lives intersect with the people on our journeys. Some people are part of our journey for minutes, others months or years. Some people leave an impact both good and/or bad, others ghost in & out quietly and sometimes you don’t realise they have faded out of your life until you notice their absence. Some are so noisy and obtrusive & painful to your life and emotional wellbeing, then they depart on another branch of the train line, usually suddenly & jarringly. You look back and watch them move off into the distance and breathe a sigh of relief and with a sense of sorrow for the other folk that will be damaged by them.

Car accident girl and I will always be linked by this incident. Hopefully she has learned to not drive tired and hopefully she is mindful that it could have been a whole lot worse, I am grateful it was not worse.

Damaged cars can be fixed or replaced. People can be fixed (mostly, more or less) but they cannot be replaced.

Hug your loved ones and be kind to the people that cross your path, even if that crossing is traumatic, you don’t know what is happening in someone else’s life. Then get back on your train carriage and see where life’s journey takes you next!

image credit: mei yuan

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health and fitness

Nurturing Wholeness: Embracing a Plant-Based Diet and Holistic Well-Being as an Alternative to Radiation Treatment

By Posted on 0 4 m read
image flowers and text "free to be different"

This blog post is intensely personal for me. It is not advice for anyone reading it. I am in no way qualified to give any form of medical advice and I urge you to always consult with and seek information and advice from your health care practitioner. However, I wanted to share this with you as part of my healing journey and I believe that for me, this is the best way forward. Love and peace to you all 💕

When faced with critical health decisions, we are often presented with multiple paths to choose from. In recent years, an increasing number of individuals have explored alternative approaches to conventional treatments, seeking to integrate holistic well-being and dietary changes into their healing journeys. In this blog post, I will delve into the decision I made to forgo radiation treatment and instead choosing to embrace a plant-based diet and holistic well-being practices. Through reputable research articles, I explored the potential benefits of these choices and in this post I aim to shed light on the growing interest in this alternative path to healing.

Understanding the Radiation Treatment Decision:

Radiation therapy is a well-established treatment option for various medical conditions, including cancer. It involves the use of high-energy radiation to target and destroy cancer cells. However, the potential side effects and long-term impacts of radiation therapy led me to consider alternative approaches.

Exploring Holistic Well-Being: Holistic well-being encompasses the integration of physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of health. By adopting a holistic approach, I sought to address the root causes of illness rather than solely focusing on symptom management. Practices such as meditation, yoga, acupuncture, energy healing and Vitamin C infusions are among the various modalities embraced in holistic well-being journeys, including my own healing journey.

The Power of a Plant-Based Diet: Numerous research articles have highlighted the potential benefits of a plant-based diet in promoting overall health and preventing chronic diseases. A study published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology (2017) concluded that a plant-based diet was associated with a significant reduction in the risk of coronary heart disease, stroke, and overall mortality. Another study published in the Journal of Nutrition (2019) revealed that a plant-based diet may reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes. These are just two of many recent peer-reviewed research articles supporting the health benefits of a plant-based, whole food diet.

The Role of Nutrition in Healing: Reputable research supports the notion that nutrition plays a crucial role in supporting the body’s healing processes. A study published in the journal Cancer Prevention Research (2015) found that a plant-based diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes may offer protective effects against certain cancers. The study suggested that the high content of phytochemicals, antioxidants, and fiber in plant-based foods could contribute to reducing cancer risk. Again, this is one of many reputable research articles in support of nutrition in healing.

Finding Balance and Individualized Care: Choosing holistic well-being and a plant-based diet as an alternative to radiation treatment requires careful consideration and personalized guidance. It is essential to consult with healthcare professionals who are knowledgeable about integrative medicine and can provide support and guidance throughout the healing journey. Each individual’s circumstances are unique, and an individualized approach ensures that the chosen path aligns with their specific needs and goals. For me, I feel I have found the right balance of well-being practices and modalities to best support my continued healing and return to good health.

The Mind-Body Connection: The mind-body connection is a fundamental aspect of holistic well-being. Research, such as a study published in the journal BMC Complementary and Alternative Medicine (2018), has shown that mind-body practices like meditation and mindfulness can positively impact overall well-being and aid in stress reduction. Cultivating a positive mindset and emotional resilience can contribute to the healing process. I have adopted daily meditation practices and I can say that I feel far calmer, grounded and serene. That’s not to say that I don’t get moments of anxiety, but I now find it far easier to let go of stress and anxiety and maintain balance and a sense of calm.

Embracing Wholeness and Individual Agency: The decision to forgo radiation treatment and explore holistic well-being and a plant-based diet is deeply personal. It involves embracing the belief that healing encompasses more than just the physical body. By nurturing wholeness and embracing individual agency in healthcare decisions, I have been able to embark on a path that seeks to address my unique needs and honor my personal and spiritual values.

In closing and to reiterate my points, choosing an alternative path to healing by forgoing radiation treatment and instead embracing a plant-based diet and holistic well-being practices requires careful consideration and consultation with healthcare professionals. Reputable research articles have shed light on the potential benefits of holistic well-being and nutrition in promoting overall health and preventing chronic diseases. Each individual’s journey is unique, and finding balance and individualized care is crucial. By nurturing wholeness and embracing individual agency, I have been able to embark on a path that resonates with my values and supports my overall well-being.

main image credit: dragonfly ave

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