60plus and loving life

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life is good, loving life & all that it brings!

Here we are almost half way through the year! Woooo, time surely does fly!

For me, this has been a great year and I am sure it will continue to be fabulous.

Last year was a bit of a dumpster fire healthwise and slowed me down a tad. But not entirely, I still kept up my dancing and gym and running in amongst it all. I think all of those things kept me going both physically and for my emotional wellbeing.

I also surround myself with the best people. My friends and family (most notably my daughter) and my partner are the most supportive and beautiful humans you could ever wish to have in your life.

I finally learned to keep my boundaries strong and to recognise early on any toxic, negative people and to either keep them at a distance or gently remove them from my life.

I don’t do drama. I do not welcome aggressive or negative people in my life. They are welcome to be whoever they wish to be – but at a nice, healthy distance from me!

My partner is an absolute delight. He is gentle and warmhearted, kind, smart, unique, funny and adorable!

We have a lot in common and he is also my dance partner. He loves my dog and cat and that to me, is also the measure of a good man.

cat on a wall climber

My dance friends are wonderful. Their energy and enthusiasm buoy me up whenever I am in their company. You cannot feel sad when you are on the dance floor! My dance teachers are also wonderful people – they are warm and welcoming.

They are supporting a lovely couple who joined relatively recently, picked up the moves quickly and recently won a couple of National titles. This couple are aiming for the world titles and our dance teachers are running a fundraising dance for them with full support from everyone in our community so we can send them across the country to compete! We all love Brooke & Pete – they are the loveliest couple you could ever wish to meet and we will all be wishing them the very best at the World Championship!

My gym buddies and trainers are likewise awesome people. They continually give me courage and strength to keep going and to aim for my strength and fitness goals. It is very much a community of likeminded people and we are welcoming of all newcomers and supportive of everyone, regardless of where they are at in their fitness & strength journey.

I retired early this year and it is the best decision and I wish I had done it earlier. I am loving living my life at my own, gentler pace. I am quite busy, but I have time and can make time to look after my wellbeing and take the occasional nap whenever I feel like it!

Apart from dancing, running & the gym. I am volunteering with my dog (George the Therapy Dog) doing one-off visits. I also volunteer with a cat rescue organisation and drive kittens and abandoned cats to carers and foster homes. I have also been volunteering with a refugee organisation. Basically, I am almost more busy than I was when working. However, it’s a type of busy that I enjoy and I have fun doing.

George the Therapy Dog

I occasionally work at my friend’s gym – on an ad-hoc basis. Usually, when she has other commitments and I can step in – again, only when it fits in with my life and my commitments.

All up, life is really good and I am happy and content. You really can’t ask for much more from life! 

imagecredit:tatyanagladskih 

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Life is a journey, with many twists & turns!

Have you ever felt your life is like a novel, with twists & turns and sometimes ridiculous plot lines?

I have.

In my 64 turns around the sun I have lived multiple lives and reinvented myself over & over again.

It’s been quite the journey.

I feel like I have had so many adventures and so many amazing opportunities. From a gal who started out life in a railway shack in a street and suburb with identical pastel coloured weatherboard (clapboard) cottages (that makes the houses sound cute & romantic, they were not) with the train line running behind the back fence and falling asleep to the sound of trains on the tracks.

A high school drop out who ended up as a university professor and a doctor (not medical, the PhD kind) then ditched all of that to work at her local Bunnings store as the well-being & safety officer. A skinny kid from the wrong side of the tracks whose expectations of life were limited at best and then blew all those expectations out of the water!

I have been married twice, the first time in my teens, the second in my 40s. Widowed once, divorced once. Then throw in a couple more relationships along the way. Some ok, some painful and emotionally abusive.

Add in the mix one amazing, awesome, gorgeous, loving and wonderful daughter and I know I have been truly blessed.

But with each iteration of my life’s journey I found that some of it I have loved, some of it not so much. But that’s ok, it’s all part of the ride and sometimes you just gotta hang onto your hat when the roller coaster flies up, down and around sharp bends.

This morning I was heading to the gym for my 6am spin class. I was driving through a roundabout and I had right of way. I was most of the way through when I got hit by a large SUV. The impact was forceful enough that my car spun around and I ended up facing the opposite direction. That was the most frightening part of the crash, no control and not sure where I’d end up.

The girl who caused the accident was incredibly apologetic, very young and told me she was just heading home (from a night shift). She said she was really tired, half asleep and not concentrating. She literally did not see my car until she hit me.

She kept apologising and she ended up in tears, so I gave her a hug and told her it would all be ok. She was fine, I am fine. Insurance would sort out the damage to our cars. Clearly it was a traumatic incident for her and I didn’t want to make her feel worse. There was no point in my being upset or angry, that really doesn’t help. She needed reassuring. I told her to drive home real careful.

She got home safe.

I’ve spent the day making police reports and insurance claims. I had to swing by my doctor as my lower back was feeling a bit stiff and sore and this evening my neck is also feeling a bit stiff and sore.

I’ll see how I pull up in the morning, hopefully I’ll be fine after a good night’s rest (and a soak in a hot bath).

I often think about how our lives intersect with the people on our journeys. Some people are part of our journey for minutes, others months or years. Some people leave an impact both good and/or bad, others ghost in & out quietly and sometimes you don’t realise they have faded out of your life until you notice their absence. Some are so noisy and obtrusive & painful to your life and emotional wellbeing, then they depart on another branch of the train line, usually suddenly & jarringly. You look back and watch them move off into the distance and breathe a sigh of relief and with a sense of sorrow for the other folk that will be damaged by them.

Car accident girl and I will always be linked by this incident. Hopefully she has learned to not drive tired and hopefully she is mindful that it could have been a whole lot worse, I am grateful it was not worse.

Damaged cars can be fixed or replaced. People can be fixed (mostly, more or less) but they cannot be replaced.

Hug your loved ones and be kind to the people that cross your path, even if that crossing is traumatic, you don’t know what is happening in someone else’s life. Then get back on your train carriage and see where life’s journey takes you next!

image credit: mei yuan

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Gratitude

What does gratitude look like to you?

Everyone talks about gratitude and how to include gratefulness into your everyday life. Whether that’s thinking of 5 things to be grateful for when you wake up or recalling 5 things from the day when you go to sleep. You can even buy a “gratitude journal” to record and review your thoughts.

I try to remember to incorporate thoughts of gratitude most days. Some days are easier. For example, when it’s a lovely sunny day or something goes well in my daily life or my dog looks at me in that cute, doggie way!

When I was younger the thought of gratitude was not high on my list. I had a lot of resentments about life. Why did my relationships always end (and often end badly), why couldn’t I hang on to someone? Why were my jobs so difficult? I had many great career opportunities in my mid life, but the early years were difficult, heck so were some of my career choices! I’ve also had my fair share of mean or bullying bosses and that can make your work life intolerable.

I often used to say to myself that if either my work life or my relationship life were ok, then I was fine. But if both fell apart, then life became overwhelming! There were times when both did spectacularly fall apart and I’d be left reeling.

At one point I went to see a psychologist to try and figure things out with some counselling. They said I was smart enough to figure things out for myself (really? then why was I in their office seeking help?) I got sent home with a bunch of articles and notes on books I should read. The one takeaway that I found of value was the concept of daily gratitude.

Initially it was a struggle to find things that invoked gratitude, but it did become easier over time. Although it is always easier if life is being reasonable! However, it is definitely worth it when life is complex and difficult.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and that diagnosis actually helped a lot. It made sense of things and I finally understood that constant feeling of underlying dread and fear that has been a constant thread in my life. I try to maintain a “drama” free lifestyle and I prefer to not have people or situations in my life that create mayhem and havoc. Sometimes it is unavoidable and I have had people who are manipulative and controlling trying to have a negative impact on my life.

However, I am way better at identifying this behaviour from the get-go and that really changes my response. I create a safe space within my mind and my heart that allows me the distance needed to understand what is going on and to recognize that it is not about me, it’s about them! ❤️

 

 

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