When folk are overly interested in your life…
It never ceases to amaze me how much some people love to gossip about others!
Mostly the gossip is either an exaggeration or outright fiction about others’ lives.
I’ve had my fair share of folk who flap their jaws bad-mouthing me. It always causes me to raise an eyebrow and wonder with curiosity as to what is so lacking in their lives that they try to turn mine into a soap opera!😂
Gossip is a reflection of the person doing the gossiping and not the person being gossiped about. They are weak and need other people’s approval to validate their self-worth.
The gossiper is usually a very insecure person. They talk about others so that no one notices their insecurities and their inadequacies.
People talk about others when they are not happy with themselves. If you are busy with a joyful, motivated life you really don’t have the kind of time required to engage in this type of activity.
There is a word for this: “scandalmonger. a person who spreads malicious gossip.” (vocabulary.com)
According to Insight Therapy:
People gossip for a number of reasons (that really have nothing to do with you!)
- To feel superior. Many people who are insecure about themselves find temporary relief in judging others. Knowing something that others don’t can feel empowering, and sometimes, that’s all an uncertain gossiper needs. But, it can also make you appear untrustworthy.
- They have a sadistic personality. Emotional sadism – someone who comes off as harsh, aggressive, intimidating, or demeaning is rooted in gossip. This type of character enjoys knowing that someone else is experiencing pain or misfortune, delighted that it’s not happening to them.
- They’re bored. When people can’t generate exciting discussions based on knowledge or ideas, gossip can arouse people’s interest.
- Anxiety. Anxious people are more likely to spread rumors and partake in gossip, according to research. And since uncertainty or feeling out of control is significant in anxiety, gossiping can make someone get that sense of control back.
- To feel like part of the group. Alongside that feeling of connection we desire, sometimes people gossip to feel like they belong to the group. Being the center of someone or a group’s attention while gossiping can be compared to buying attention. Yet, this feeling of acceptance isn’t based on a person’s identity or personality but exclusion or maliciousness.
If you find yourself the focus of a gossip, regardless of their underlying motivation, the best thing you can do is maintain your dignity.
When it has happened to me, I never respond, I never clarify or explain and I never gossip back about the gossiper!
I always maintain my silence and my dignity. At the end of the day ALL my family and friends know me well. Those loyal to me would never for a minute countenance any garbage spoken about me or my character.
If anyone else does listen. Good. Enjoy the drama, season 2 is on the way! 😂
My advice to you is to keep your eyes on your own path. That is more important, more true and more relevant than ever listening to what others have to say about you. You know your self-worth and you really can rise above it all!
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