All Posts By 60plus&lovinglife

Breaking Up with My Doctor: Trusting My Gut and Advocating for My Health

They say that doctors are our partners in health, guiding us through the intricacies of our well-being. But what happens when that partnership falls short, leaving you feeling unheard and dismissed?

For years, I’ve grappled with ongoing gastrointestinal issues that have turned my life into a roller coaster of discomfort. Today, I’m sharing my journey of frustration, persistence, and ultimately, self-advocacy.

It’s a story of trusting my gut – both literally and figuratively – and finally finding the answers I needed after years of being dismissively brushed aside.

A Long Road of Gastrointestinal Struggles:

The road of gastrointestinal issues has been a long and winding one for me. Some days were manageable, but others felt like a battleground within my own body.

If you’ve experienced these struggles, you’ll understand the frustration, pain, and sense of helplessness that comes with them. Despite the challenges, I knew deep down that something was amiss, and it was time to take action.

Dismissals and Questionable Diagnoses:

My journey began over 10 years ago with conversations with my regular doctor who, time and again, dismissed my concerns. “It’s just a bug,” he’d say nonchalantly, as if my pain and discomfort were inconsequential.

Last year he diagnosed me with “Diverticulitis” without doing any testing at all, just assumption based on my age (female over 60). He was incorrect as tests I had this year cleared me of diverticulitis.

I even tried a different GP (General Practitioner/doctor) and I vividly remember her reaction when I mentioned my dinner of chickpea curry when she asked what I had eaten the night prior. She laughed, labeling my meal as the root cause of my issues. Even after assuring her that chickpeas weren’t a daily staple, but gut issues were an ongoing problem, she dismissed my concerns without a second thought.

These interactions left me feeling unheard and invalidated and questioning if anyone would take my plight seriously.

A Year of Health Struggles and Rediscovering My Voice:

As this year began, my health took a turn for the worse. Amidst battling other serious health issues, my gastrointestinal problems intensified. My doctor’s dismissive stance persisted, attributing everything to a “it’s just a bug going around.”

Then, a sobering realization struck him (on my third visit to him as I had been getting sicker and sicker) – he had forgotten about my ongoing cancer battle. It was this moment that led him to finally order a colonoscopy and in his own words “I don’t want to be sued.” Not that he was in the least concerned about my health, just that he didn’t want to be legally liable!

He then proceeded to tell me a horrendous story of a patient he knew (not sure if it was his patient). This poor man had cancer and an underlying inflammatory bowel disease which had not been picked up. After a series of chemotherapy treatments, the man’s bowel ruptured as the bowel wall had thinned due to the chemo. My doctor was concerned the same would happen to me!

Finally, A Long-Awaited Diagnosis:

The colonoscopy became a turning point in my journey. Biopsies were taken, and the results held the key to my years of agony. The diagnosis: Lymphocytic Colitis. Here is a link for further information if you are interested – Lymphocytic Colitis.

Finally, a name to the pain I’d been enduring, a validation that I wasn’t imagining my struggles. The revelation came with a mix of emotions – relief, frustration, and determination.

Lymphocytic Colitis is treatable, but it is not curable. It can flare up again. I am currently undergoing 6 weeks of steroid treatment to see if that calms it all down.

Trusting My Gut (literally) and Advocating for My Health:

Through this tumultuous journey, I learned the importance of trusting my gut, both in the literal and metaphorical sense. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s crucial to persist until you find the answers you deserve.

Our bodies have a way of communicating when something is wrong, and it’s up to us to advocate for the care we need. My experience taught me that self-advocacy is a vital component of our health journey, and seeking second opinions can lead us to the right path.

My journey of battling gastrointestinal issues, dismissals, and incorrect diagnoses has ultimately been a testament to the power of persistence and self-advocacy. The road to my Colitis diagnosis was fraught with frustration, but it also rekindled my determination to be my own health advocate.

As I break up with my dismissive doctor, I hope my story serves as a reminder to all that your health matters, your concerns are valid, and your voice deserves to be heard.

If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re not being taken seriously, remember: trust your gut, stand up for yourself, and keep pushing for the answers you deserve.

image credit:egakusdiarto

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flying monkeys & other bullies…

Hello my loyal readers🥰

I hope you’re having a wonderful week. Isn’t it glorious when you are surrounded by peaceful, calm and loving people? Life is beautiful ❤️I am so blessed and feeling full of love and gratitude. My life is going well, my health is improving, my relationship is loving and I am so lucky we found each other!

Unfortunately, some folk just can’t let go and keep on being bullies! It is a sad reflection on them and I would like to send them healing vibes. Blessings be upon them and may they find it within their hearts to be kinder and more decent humans.

An earlier blog post was in response to hateful comments I have received, which of course led to another nasty response. Big surprise there (not)😂

They do not give their name and always use a fake email address – but they do name people, so I make sure I do not publish their comments for privacy & confidentiality reasons.

The anonymity and fake email addresses are cowardly. Put your name to your comments and stop hiding behind your keyboard! Stop lurking behind the shadows and come out into the light little flying monkey – I know who you are!🐒

In addition, there is one of my exes who always uses his real name and email address and his comments are wild! Again, I won’t publish them as they are hateful & full of unhinged vitriol  – but I have kept them and shown them to the people I love and who care about me.

I shall address the latest flying monkey comment here:

My blog is written from my lived experience. It does not relate to any one person, it flows from experiences I have had throughout my life.

Your attributing them to one person is baffling. You are commenting on matters to which you were not privy and therefore you do not know what you are talking about.

You then made an obscure reference about a conversation I was having with a friend in the ladies bathroom one time which I wrote about in another blog post (well done for being a loyal reader!). However, you forgot to mention that the conversation related to my cancer diagnosis.

The “unwanted” interaction in the bathroom was from a few months ago. It was from a lady who came out of one of the stalls and decided it was ok to tell me what I should do about having cancer – here’s the link to the blog post where I talk about the incident.

As well meaning as some people are, it really is not helpful getting advice from all and sundry when you are dealing with cancer. Trust me, I’ve had some weird and wacky suggestions!

I prefer to take my advice from my specialists and treatment team.

Anyway, before you put your fingers to your keyboard again to send me yet another (unwanted and unwarranted) piece of diatribe, get your facts straight. Better yet, shut up and go away!🐒

Peace and love y’all✌️

 

main image credit:ElvireStudio

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Embracing Serendipity: Love, Friendship, and the Dance of Destiny

Life is a dance of unpredictable twists and turns, often leading us to moments of joy and connection we never could have anticipated. From the serendipity of finding love when we least expect it to the value of steadfast friendships and the warmth of a caring community, the tapestry of our lives is woven with threads of destiny that ultimately guide us to where we belong. In this reflection, I share my journey of discovering the beauty of life through loving relationships, cherished friendships, and the vibrant world of dance.

Love Finds Its Way: A Tale of Unexpected Joy

They say that what’s meant to be will always find its way to you, and I couldn’t agree more. Love, that most elusive and enchanting of emotions, has a way of sneaking into our lives when we least expect it. It’s like stumbling upon a hidden treasure while wandering through life’s uncharted territories. The joy of a loving relationship is unparalleled – the way it blossoms and flourishes despite the odds, creating a bond that enriches our days and warms our hearts. The magic of finding the right person at the right time is a testament to the beauty of serendipity.

Dance: A Language of Connection and Friendship

As I traverse the path of life, I’ve been blessed to find companionship not only in romantic relationships but also in the form of loving friendships. These connections, forged through shared experiences and heartfelt conversations, have become the pillars of my existence. Among these, the dance community stands out as a testament to the power of common passions to bring souls together.

Within the embrace of the dance floor, I’ve discovered a world that transcends words – a realm where movement becomes a language, and connection is forged through rhythm and grace. The dance community has gifted me with not only the joy of self-expression but also the gift of lifelong friends who share in the thrill of each step and twirl. These friendships are a testament to the joy of finding kindred spirits in unexpected places.

Guided by Passionate Teachers and a Loving Community

In this dance of life, my journey has been enriched by the presence of incredible dance teachers who have guided me with their expertise, humour, and unwavering support. Their dedication to nurturing and uplifting the dance community goes beyond mere instruction; it’s a reflection of the profound impact a caring mentor can have on one’s journey. My dance teachers have not only taught me the art of movement but have also instilled values of camaraderie, discipline, and the importance of giving back to the community.

Blessed by Loving Kindness

Reflecting on the tapestry of my life, I am reminded of the countless moments of serendipity that have shaped my path. From chance encounters to profound connections, each experience has added a unique hue to the canvas of my existence. I am grateful for the friendships that have stood the test of time, and the dance community that continues to inspire and uplift me.

In a world that often seems chaotic and unpredictable, I find solace in the knowledge that what’s meant to be will always find its way. Embracing this truth has allowed me to cherish the moments of good fortune, navigate the twists and turns with grace, and revel in the loving kindness that surrounds me. As I continue to dance through life, I am guided by the belief that destiny has a way of leading us to where we truly belong – wrapped in the arms of love, friendship, and the beauty of shared experiences.

 

main image credit:loveforbeachythings

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I’m sweet, I’m fine, I’m having a really good time!

Quick note to any pesky-exes (& their flying monkeys) stalking my blog:

I’m good, thanks for asking😊

I write to encourage women and men to leave emotionally abusive relationships.

My reach is around 65,ooo (just checked my metrics).

The overall vibe is supportive and encouraging of all the topics I write about.

The nasty-ass and bullying comments from you and your minion are laughable.

Surely you have better things to do with your life than stalk my blog and leave dumb-ass comments!

Move on and get yourself gone!🤡

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Escaping the Emotional Zombie and Embracing Love!

Hey there, warriors of wit and wisdom!

Picture this: me, your quirky narrator, dancing out of an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist like a liberated flamingo on a tropical island. And guess what? I then found myself prancing into the warm embrace of a caring and loving man who might as well be a cuddly teddy bear – the difference could not be greater, literally polar opposites!

Oh, the exhilaration of it all! Buckle up, because we’re about to embark on a rollercoaster of emotions, liberating laughter, and maybe even a few sassy dance moves!

I feel so free and light-hearted, happy, and content.

Ah, yes, being with a narcissist is like a journey through the twilight zone. It’s like they sucked the life out of every conversation, leaving me feeling utterly confounded! But fret not, dear readers! I navigated the murky waters of gaslighting and emotional manipulation with the grace of a cat walking on a tightrope.

image of a cat and a squiggly line on a black background
imagecredit:elifatayteam

Embracing the Light:

Oh, the day I broke free! It was like stepping into the dazzling sunshine after what felt like a lifetime of gloomy skies. The sheer joy of not having to deal with constant drama and walking on eggshells? Absolutely priceless! I did a victory dance that could rival any dance-off on TV.

Trust the GPS of Your Gut:

When you exit an emotionally abusive relationship, you might wonder if you’ll ever find someone who treats you like the treasure you are. Fear not, fellow adventurers! The GPS of your gut knows the way. Trust that inner voice, even if it sounds like your quirky aunt with a crystal ball. Moving on is the right thing to do, and your heart knows it.

Stay Strong, Stay Sassy:

In this world of uncertainty and emotional minefields, it’s essential to stay strong and sassy like a wise-cracking superhero. You are worthy of love, respect, and a partner who sees you for the amazing human you are. So, put on your metaphorical superhero cape and take charge of your destiny.

Humour: The Master Potion:

My friends, humour is the magic potion that helps us survive the ridiculousness of life. Laugh at the absurdity of your past experiences with your toxic ex, like an inside joke only you and the universe share. A witty quip is like a shield against negativity, so unleash your arsenal of humour and watch the toxic vibes bounce off like rubber balls.

I want you to know that there is a world of love, joy, and genuine care waiting for you too. Escape the clutches of the emotional zombie, embrace the love you deserve, and dance like nobody’s watching.

Stay strong, be brave, and trust that moving on is the ultimate key to unlock the door to your happily-ever-after.

Now, go forth, my sassy squad of readers, and create your own stories of liberation and love. You’ve got the spirit of a warrior and the humour of a stand-up comedian. So, celebrate your journey with a wink and a smile, for you are now the master of your destiny!😉

main image credit:lauragodsell

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Finding Strength and Joy: Visiting the oncology ward patients with my therapy dog

Life often takes us on unexpected paths, revealing both profound challenges and moments of incredible resilience. In this post, I share my journey of visiting patients at an Oncology ward with my therapy dog George. What makes this experience particularly poignant is the fact that I too am dealing with cancer on two fronts. Breast cancer and an unrelated non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in my abdominal region.

Together, George and I embarked on a visit to bring solace, hope, and unconditional love to those navigating their own cancer journeys.

A Shared Bond

George and I share an unbreakable bond. He has worked with people of all ages from toddlers through to the elderly and he instinctively knows how to be gentle and loving with everyone. He and I are united in our determination to make a positive impact on others facing all sorts of challenges in life.

Overcoming Obstacles

Visiting the Oncology ward with George is no easy feat, given that I too have cancer. However, the desire to bring comfort to cancer patients outweighs any obstacle in our path. Together, we navigated the corridors of the hospital, fuelled by a shared purpose to uplift spirits, and bring smiles to weary faces.

Despite the difficulties, George’s presence by my side offers a renewed sense of purpose and strength. Everybody was happy to see him and get all the pats – both staff and patients alike! Cuddles all round for everyone! So much happiness, joy and giant smiles!

Finding Empathy and Connection

As George and I entered the Oncology ward, the air was thick with emotions. The patients, each fighting their own battles, recognized a kindred spirit in our presence. The shared understanding of the challenges we face created an instant connection—a silent reassurance that they are not alone. Through George’s gentle interactions and my own empathetic conversations, we forged bonds that transcend words, offering solace and a camaraderie and a feeling of friendships made.

Moments of Healing

In the Oncology ward, the power of George’s therapy work is magnified by my personal understanding of cancer’s impact. We witnessed the transformative effect of his presence, as patients’ weary faces lit up with joy.

The simple act of petting George’s soft fur became a source of comfort and respite, momentarily transporting them away from the sterile hospital environment. In those moments, I also found solace and purpose, knowing that I am making a difference in someone else’s journey.

We shared our personal stories and journeys, noting many similarities and some stark differences. Men and women of all age groups were there. Every single person was excited to have time with George and for me to stop by for a chat and a laugh (and yes, we all still have a sense of humour!)

Reflection and Gratitude

As I reflect on our visit to the Oncology ward, I am filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude. George’s gentle soul and unwavering love has not only touched the lives of patients but also provided me with strength and purpose on my own cancer journey. In the act of giving, we receive a powerful reminder of the resilience of the human spirit and the healing power of love and companionship.

Visiting patients with George was a beautiful time of sharing our love. In spreading joy to those in need, George and I discovered a renewed strength and purpose. As we navigate the challenging terrain of cancer, we find solace in the connections we forge, the smiles we bring, and the hope we instill.

Together, we demonstrate that even in the face of adversity, love and compassion can prevail, lighting the way for brighter tomorrows.

a photo of two hands, one comforting the other

Main image credit:WaggingTailsPhotography

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I have a voice and I am loved!

The Strength Within: Overcoming Toxicity and Refusing to Be Silenced

In life, we encounter individuals who may try to stifle our voices, dampen our spirits, and diminish our sense of self-worth. Yet, amidst these challenges, we discover our inner strength and the unwavering support of loved ones.

In today’s post, I share my journey of facing two toxic people who aimed to silence me, but with the love and support of my family and friends, I found the courage to stand tall and refuse to be silenced.

Confronting Toxicity

In the depths of my journey, I found myself face-to-face with two toxic individuals determined to undermine my voice. Their words and actions aimed to erode my self-confidence and make me doubt my own worth. However, it has not worked, they have failed in their quest to bully me into silence.

The Strength Within

Amidst the darkness, I discovered a wellspring of strength deep within me. I realized that my voice held power, and I refused to let it be silenced. I embraced my uniqueness, my thoughts, and my dreams. I recognized that my perspective mattered, and that my words had the potential to inspire, uplift, and make a difference.

The Power of Support

Surrounded by a loving and supportive network of family and friends, I found solace and encouragement. Their unwavering belief in me became a shield against the negativity of those who sought to silence me.

With their support, I began to rebuild my confidence and regain my voice. Their presence reminded me that I was not alone in my struggles and that I possessed the strength to overcome any obstacle.

Rising Above

As I embraced my inner strength with the support of my loved ones, I started to rise above the toxicity. I refused to internalize the negative narratives imposed upon me and instead focused on my own growth and self-expression.

I channelled my energy into my passions, dreams, and creative endeavours, finding solace in the joy they brought me. Each step forward was a testament to my resilience and determination.

Unsilenced and Empowered

Today, I stand tall, my voice resounding with authenticity and unwavering conviction. I have reclaimed my power, refusing to let the toxic individuals silence me. Their attempts appear endless, their constant emotional abuse is relentless, but I continue to rise above it.

And I am surrounded by a loving support system that empowers me to continue speaking my truth and embracing the limitless potential that lies within me.

While encountering toxic individuals who aim to silence us can be disheartening, we possess the strength to rise above their negativity. With the support of our loved ones, we find the courage to reclaim our voices, refusing to be silenced.

Embracing our authenticity and nurturing our self-worth, we emerge from these trials stronger and more resilient than ever before. Remember, your voice matters, and the world deserves to hear your unique perspective.

So, stand tall, let your voice be heard, and shine brightly in the face of adversity.

image credit:nubuworks

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I love dancing, my dance community & my dance teachers!

There are shortcuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them – Vicki Baum

Dancing: A Personal Journey of Bliss, Health, and Community

As I reflect on my personal journey with dancing, I am overwhelmed by the sheer bliss and joy it has brought into my life. Beyond the mesmerizing movements and enchanting music, dancing has become a catalyst for profound transformations, nurturing my spirit, improving my health, and fostering friendships and a sense of community.

In this blog post, I will share my heartfelt experiences, revealing how dancing has become an integral part of who I am—a source of immense happiness and a beacon of light that radiates through every facet of my existence.

 

Embracing the Bliss of Dance:

From the moment I step onto the dance floor, a wave of sheer bliss washes over me. The music envelopes my soul, guiding my body in fluid movements that feel like an extension of my very being. Dancing allows me to tap into emotions that words cannot adequately express. It’s as if the dance becomes a language of its own—one that speaks directly to my heart. In those moments, I feel alive, liberated, and connected to the deepest parts of myself. Dancing has become my sanctuary, a place where I can let go of inhibitions and let my spirit soar.

Nurturing the Body and Soul:

Beyond the ethereal joy it brings, dancing has also been a profound catalyst for improving my physical and mental well-being. The rhythmic movements and energetic routines have transformed my body, boosting my cardiovascular fitness, strength, and flexibility. As I engage in various dance styles, I feel my stamina increase, and my body becomes more resilient. The physical benefits of dancing are undeniable, but it is the effect it has on my soul that truly captivates me.

Dancing is a form of therapy, a conduit for releasing stress, anxiety, and negative emotions. When I dance, I am transported to a state of pure presence, where the worries of the world fade into the background. It is in those moments that I feel a profound sense of inner peace and clarity. Dancing has become my meditation—a moving meditation that allows me to quiet my mind and reconnect with my inner self. The endorphins released during dancing create a natural high, leaving me feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to face the world with renewed vitality.

Building Friendships and Community:

One of the most beautiful aspects of dancing is the way it brings people together, forging connections and creating a vibrant sense of community. Through dance classes and social events, I have had the privilege of meeting incredible individuals who share my passion for movement and music. We dance, laugh, and support one another, creating an environment of acceptance and encouragement.

I have the best dance teachers; from the moment I joined the class I realised I was in the absolute right place with the best teachers. They teach with humour and passion, they have supported me from the very beginning when I struggled to pick up some of the moves, especially the spinning in Rock & Roll and through to where I am at now, a gosh-darned good dancer! I will be forever indebted to them for their valuable teaching, care and friendship.

dance teacher quote

The friendships I have formed through dancing go beyond the dance floor—they have become an integral part of my life. We celebrate each other’s achievements, inspire one another to push our limits, and provide a support system that extends far beyond the realm of dancing. The dance community has taught me the power of diversity and acceptance, as people from different backgrounds and walks of life come together, united by their love for dance. In this community, I have found a place where I truly belong, where I can express myself freely, and where I have witnessed the transformative power of dance firsthand.

Dancing has become my lifeline, a source of boundless joy, improved health, and a deep sense of community. Through its enchanting movements and captivating melodies, dancing has touched my spirit, invigorated my body, and brought incredible individuals into my life. It has become a personal journey of self-discovery, self-expression, and personal growth. If you are seeking a path to happiness, vitality, and connection, I urge you to embrace the bliss and joy of dancing. Step onto the dance floor, surrender to the music, and allow yourself to be swept away by the magic that dancing can bring into your life.

image credit:nubuworks

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Healing Energy: Nurturing Well-Being on the Cancer Journey

It’s been a little while since I gave you all a health update 😊

And I’m not entirely sure what to say. I have good days and days where I’m just really super tired and a bit emotional. But that’s normal for my new normal. Today started off good and now it’s not so great, that’s the way it goes.

I had to go back to my Haematologist a bit earlier than planned for my follow-up. I have been quite unwell over the last month and that ended up with a visit to the ER and a CT scan.

On that scan they picked up that the Lymphoma has gotten worse.

I’ve had more blood tests, yet another CT scan, and another PET scan.

I get the results and discuss treatment options/plans this coming Monday.

Then I will know the next stage of this rather strange and fascinating journey that I am on.

All in all, I am deeply grateful for the support of my beautiful and loving daughter and the care and love of my partner. I have not enough words to express the depth of love I feel for these special people without whom I would be lost.

Now onto the main topic – meditation & mindfulness and how these two practices are shaping my life:

Dealing with cancer is undoubtedly one of life’s most profound challenges. The physical and emotional toll it takes can be overwhelming, leading to a rollercoaster of good and challenging days. In the midst of this turbulent journey, however, lies the transformative potential of meditation and mindfulness. Personally I find that these practices offer solace, strength, and a renewed perspective, reminding me of the privilege of life and the importance of valuing my health and well-being.

Navigating the Ups and Downs

Living with cancer can be an unpredictable journey, with good days and challenging days intertwined. On the good days, when energy and optimism surge, it’s essential to embrace them fully. These moments allows me to savour life’s simple pleasures, appreciate the beauty around me, and strengthens my resolve to fight.

However, I’ve found it’s equally important to acknowledge and honour the challenging days when fatigue, pain, or emotional turmoil loom large. These moments can be disheartening, but they, too, hold valuable lessons and opportunities for growth.

The Role of Meditation and Mindfulness

I have found that both meditation and mindfulness are invaluable tools for navigating the peaks and valleys of my cancer journey. By training my mind to be present and aware, these practices have enabled me to find inner peace and resilience amidst uncertainty.

Here’s how they can make a significant difference:

  1. Cultivating Inner Calm:

Through meditation, I have learned to focus my attention on the present moment, allowing worries and anxieties to fade into the background. By observing my thoughts without judgment, I have been able to reduce stress and foster a sense of calm, even in the face of adversity.

  1. Enhancing Emotional Well-being:

Cancer can bring forth a range of emotions, from fear and sadness to anger and frustration. Mindfulness has helped me to improve my emotional intelligence, allowing me to acknowledge and process these feelings without being consumed by them. By cultivating self-compassion, I have found solace and acceptance within myself.

  1. Building Resilience:

Meditation has really strengthened my ability to respond to adversity with resilience. It has absolutely helped me develop a deep inner wellspring of strength and equanimity, enabling me to bounce back from setbacks and face each day with renewed determination.

  1. Connecting with the Present Moment:

Cancer can disrupt my sense of time, pulling me into thoughts of the past or worries about the future. Mindfulness always brings me back to the present moment, helping me appreciate the beauty and wonder of life that exists in the here and now. It allows me to experience moments of joy, love, and gratitude amidst the challenges that I currently face.

Embracing Life’s Privilege

The cancer journey inevitably confronts us with the fragility and preciousness of life. Each day becomes an opportunity to cherish the gift of existence and to honour my health and well-being. Meditation and mindfulness serve as gentle reminders to value the present moment and nourish my body, mind, and spirit.

By incorporating meditation and mindfulness into my life, I have cultivated a deeper connection with myself and the world around me. I have become more attuned to my body, listening to its needs and responding with care. I have learned to appreciate the small joys and find beauty in even the most difficult of circumstances. Ultimately, I have recognized that every breath is a privilege, and every day is an opportunity for growth and gratitude.

As cancer presents its myriad challenges, the power of meditation and mindfulness shines through as a beacon of hope and strength. These practices provide invaluable tools for navigating the unpredictable journey with grace and resilience.

By embracing the good and challenging days alike, I find I can foster a deeper appreciation for life’s preciousness.

Let us remember to value our health and well-being, cherishing each moment as a privilege and a gift.

image credit: RizelleAnneGalvez. Words my own.

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Ugly comments & how to deal with the unhinged!

Tips on what to do when people are toxic liars and a couple stories to share with you

Writing a public blog is a wonderful way to express yourself, be creative and have your voice heard. I highly recommend anyone wanting to write on a topic or topics close to their heart to start one.This is my second blog, and it has become really successful since I launched it last October.

The feedback I get is extremely positive and is encouraging me to continue writing and sharing my voice with you all.

I would like to say a sincere thank you to the many of you who leave beautiful and heartfelt comments. I hear you and I appreciate you and I care about you 🥰

Pretty much all my readers & subscribers find my words relatable, and of value. And that is exactly what I was aiming for when I began writing my blog. Especially given I range from topics as diverse as relationship issues, health & wellbeing, my own cancer journey and return to wellbeing, and of course, my therapy dog George!

However, like with anything when you put yourself out there, particularly online, there is the potential danger of trolls leaving nasty comments. Fortunately, I moderate my blog and I choose not to publish nasty, ugly words or comments that malign my nature or myself as a human being. Because it is my blog afterall and I have the choice to not put negative energy out there!

Steps to dealing with trolls:

For those of you new to blogging or considering blogging and having concerns about trolls, here are some things you can do.

  1. Make sure you set-up your blog to allow you to moderate comments. That means that comments go to a part of your blog that only you can see. You are the Admin of your blog and you can set it up to work the way you want it to.
  2. If you get vile and nasty comments. DO NOT RESPOND. Like literally, no matter how mean or callous or untruthful, do not give the troll or trolls any oxygen. Let the narcissists & flying monkeys vent their spleen. If you respond it will only spiral into even more ugliness.
  3. Read the comments, delete the comments.
  4. It sounds simple, but I know some of you will struggle. It is difficult to be the brunt of someone’s anger and hatred. However, keep in mind that it is their problem, not yours.
  5. You know your intrinsic worth as a human being, your loved ones know you and love you. Other people’s ridiculous opinions are simply that, ridiculous.

Some of the garbage comments that garbage humans have written to me:

Some of the stupid comments I have received literally make no sense whatsoever and do leave me a bit baffled and scratching my head.

I guess people just have too much time on their hands and look for someone who they think is an easy target and then get busy on their keyboards!

Below are a couple of examples and I easily debunk them and prove them for what they are – outright lies made by disturbed people.

There was a comment from a troll accusing me of having a “criminal record” (amongst many other weird & bizarre accusations). Seriously! No idea why or in what context they thought that made any gosh darned sense, maybe they think all Bloggers are sketchy? I don’t know. 🤷

But it is an outright falsehood and easily proven to be a lie (my friends & family were howling with laughter when I told them.)

I worked in education for over 20 years, and I have been a volunteer with a literacy program, a dementia facility and at childcare centres, primary (elementary) and high schools. My workplaces and volunteer organizations require what we call here in Australia a “National Police Clearance Check” – basically a criminal record check – mine is clear, as in, I do not have a criminal record and never have. I also have a Working with Children Card – which again requires a National Police check as I volunteer at schools with my therapy dog.

The comment went on to accuse my ex-husband as well – again no idea why such unhinged commentary was written. First up, I’ve been married twice. My first husband died in 1997 and he is not around to clear his good name, but I am in touch with his lovely sister and for sure she would be stunned at such rank & disturbing lies. My second husband and I are still friends, he is absolutely an upstanding citizen and would be very shocked to hear that he had been personally attacked. But no-one is safe from these lying scumbags.

Go figure!

But the thing with trolls is that they will tell (generally outrageous and laughable) lies. What their intention may be is unknowable, and I don’t waste any time trying to understand, you cannot fathom the irrational.

Another accusation from a nasty troll was that I “slept with a 20-year-old.” Ummm, that one literally had me rolling on the floor laughing🤣

I am 64 years old and as much as I may be in pretty good shape, I think it highly unlikely that a 20-year-old would be interested in me in that way! I guess I could find that accusation flattering? But again, I literally have no idea as to the purpose of such nonsense comments and I won’t waste my time trying to figure it out.

So, to the trolls and the keyboard warriors – jog on!

Therefore, be mindful that blogging is very much a rewarding activity, but there will always be trolls. Just ignore and keep writing, we need to hear your voice!

Image credit: Ravenwolf

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