When folk are overly interested in your life…

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It never ceases to amaze me how much some people love to gossip about others!

Mostly the gossip is either an exaggeration or outright fiction about others’ lives.

I’ve had my fair share of folk who flap their jaws bad-mouthing me. It always causes me to raise an eyebrow and wonder with curiosity as to what is so lacking in their lives that they try to turn mine into a soap opera!😂

Gossip is a reflection of the person doing the gossiping and not the person being gossiped about. They are weak and need other people’s approval to validate their self-worth.

The gossiper is usually a very insecure person. They talk about others so that no one notices their insecurities and their inadequacies.

People talk about others when they are not happy with themselves. If you are busy with a joyful, motivated life you really don’t have the kind of time required to engage in this type of activity.

There is a word for this: “scandalmonger. a person who spreads malicious gossip.” (vocabulary.com)

According to Insight Therapy:

People gossip for a number of reasons (that really have nothing to do with you!)

  1. To feel superior. Many people who are insecure about themselves find temporary relief in judging others. Knowing something that others don’t can feel empowering, and sometimes, that’s all an uncertain gossiper needs. But, it can also make you appear untrustworthy.
  2. They have a sadistic personality. Emotional sadism – someone who comes off as harsh, aggressive, intimidating, or demeaning is rooted in gossip. This type of character enjoys knowing that someone else is experiencing pain or misfortune, delighted that it’s not happening to them.
  3. They’re bored. When people can’t generate exciting discussions based on knowledge or ideas, gossip can arouse people’s interest.
  4. Anxiety. Anxious people are more likely to spread rumors and partake in gossip, according to research. And since uncertainty or feeling out of control is significant in anxiety, gossiping can make someone get that sense of control back.
  5. To feel like part of the group. Alongside that feeling of connection we desire, sometimes people gossip to feel like they belong to the group. Being the center of someone or a group’s attention while gossiping can be compared to buying attention. Yet, this feeling of acceptance isn’t based on a person’s identity or personality but exclusion or maliciousness.

If you find yourself the focus of a gossip, regardless of their underlying motivation, the best thing you can do is maintain your dignity.

When it has happened to me, I never respond, I never clarify or explain and I never gossip back about the gossiper!

I always maintain my silence and my dignity. At the end of the day ALL my family and friends know me well. Those loyal to me would never for a minute countenance any garbage spoken about me or my character.

If anyone else does listen. Good. Enjoy the drama, season 2 is on the way! 😂

My advice to you is to keep your eyes on your own path. That is more important, more true and more relevant than ever listening to what others have to say about you. You know your self-worth and you really can rise above it all!

imagecredit:livewhatyoulove

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life is good, loving life & all that it brings!

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Here we are almost half way through the year! Woooo, time surely does fly!

For me, this has been a great year and I am sure it will continue to be fabulous.

Last year was a bit of a dumpster fire healthwise and slowed me down a tad. But not entirely, I still kept up my dancing and gym and running in amongst it all. I think all of those things kept me going both physically and for my emotional wellbeing.

I also surround myself with the best people. My friends and family (most notably my daughter) and my partner are the most supportive and beautiful humans you could ever wish to have in your life.

I finally learned to keep my boundaries strong and to recognise early on any toxic, negative people and to either keep them at a distance or gently remove them from my life.

I don’t do drama. I do not welcome aggressive or negative people in my life. They are welcome to be whoever they wish to be – but at a nice, healthy distance from me!

My partner is an absolute delight. He is gentle and warmhearted, kind, smart, unique, funny and adorable!

We have a lot in common and he is also my dance partner. He loves my dog and cat and that to me, is also the measure of a good man.

cat on a wall climber

My dance friends are wonderful. Their energy and enthusiasm buoy me up whenever I am in their company. You cannot feel sad when you are on the dance floor! My dance teachers are also wonderful people – they are warm and welcoming.

They are supporting a lovely couple who joined relatively recently, picked up the moves quickly and recently won a couple of National titles. This couple are aiming for the world titles and our dance teachers are running a fundraising dance for them with full support from everyone in our community so we can send them across the country to compete! We all love Brooke & Pete – they are the loveliest couple you could ever wish to meet and we will all be wishing them the very best at the World Championship!

My gym buddies and trainers are likewise awesome people. They continually give me courage and strength to keep going and to aim for my strength and fitness goals. It is very much a community of likeminded people and we are welcoming of all newcomers and supportive of everyone, regardless of where they are at in their fitness & strength journey.

I retired early this year and it is the best decision and I wish I had done it earlier. I am loving living my life at my own, gentler pace. I am quite busy, but I have time and can make time to look after my wellbeing and take the occasional nap whenever I feel like it!

Apart from dancing, running & the gym. I am volunteering with my dog (George the Therapy Dog) doing one-off visits. I also volunteer with a cat rescue organisation and drive kittens and abandoned cats to carers and foster homes. I have also been volunteering with a refugee organisation. Basically, I am almost more busy than I was when working. However, it’s a type of busy that I enjoy and I have fun doing.

George the Therapy Dog

I occasionally work at my friend’s gym – on an ad-hoc basis. Usually, when she has other commitments and I can step in – again, only when it fits in with my life and my commitments.

All up, life is really good and I am happy and content. You really can’t ask for much more from life! 

imagecredit:tatyanagladskih 

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