trauma – 60plus and loving life

Love Doesn’t Leave You Traumatized: Understanding the Difference

By 60plus&lovinglife March 28, 2024 0

In the journey of love, it’s not uncommon to encounter experiences that leave scars on our hearts.

However, it’s essential to recognize that true love doesn’t leave you traumatized. Whatever happened to you was not love; it was something else entirely.

Love is meant to uplift, empower, and nurture us. It’s a force that brings out the best in us, encourages growth, and fosters a deep sense of connection.

But when we find ourselves in situations that leave us feeling broken, hurt, and traumatized, it’s crucial to understand that it wasn’t love at play.

So, what exactly happened?

Often, what we perceive as love is a distorted version of it – a toxic relationship, an abusive dynamic, or a one-sided affair.

These experiences can leave lasting scars, affecting our self-worth, confidence, and ability to trust again. But it’s essential to remember that these experiences were not a reflection of love but rather a distortion of it.

True love is built on a foundation of respect, trust, and mutual understanding. It’s about honoring each other’s boundaries, supporting one another’s dreams, and being there through the highs and lows of life.

It’s about seeing each other for who we truly are and accepting each other unconditionally.

When love is genuine, it doesn’t leave you feeling traumatized. Instead, it helps you heal, grow, and become the best version of yourself.

It’s a source of strength and comfort, a sanctuary in a world filled with chaos and uncertainty.

If you’ve been through a traumatic experience in the name of love, it’s essential to seek healing and support.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and empower you, and don’t be afraid to seek professional help if needed. Remember that you deserve to be loved in a way that honors and respects you – anything less is not love.

As you navigate your journey of healing, remember that true love exists, and it’s worth waiting for.

It may take time to find the right person who cherishes and values you, but when you do, it will be worth the wait.

Love shouldn’t leave you traumatized; it should leave you feeling cherished, valued, and whole.

So, hold onto hope, believe in the power of love, and never settle for anything less than you deserve.

You are worthy of a love that lifts you up, supports you, and brings you joy – don’t ever forget that.

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Life

Dancing with Resilience: A Message of Hope for Those Overcoming Trauma

By 60plus&lovinglife January 25, 2024 0

In the vast ocean of life, many of us find ourselves navigating tumultuous waves, facing the challenges of trauma that threaten to pull us under.

Today, I want to share a message of hope, inspired by the profound wisdom that lies in the saying, “Dance with the waves, move with the sea, let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.”

I want to dedicate this post to the beautiful souls who have triumphed over trauma and to those who are still entangled in the nets of pain. Many of you have reached out to me and I hear you and I am here for you. Take care and be gentle with yourself, you deserve loving kindness.

There is a promise of light at the end of the tunnel, and I wish you kindness, love, blessings, and, above all else, peace.

The Ocean of Life

Life, much like the vast expanse of the ocean, is filled with highs and lows, calm moments, and stormy seas.

For those who have experienced trauma, it often feels like being caught in a tempest that threatens to drown us. Yet, within the chaos, there lies an inherent rhythm—a rhythm that, when embraced, can lead us to liberation.

Dancing with the Waves

“Dance with the waves.” It’s an invitation to engage with life’s challenges, not as adversaries, but as partners in a cosmic dance.

When we learn to move with the ebb and flow of our experiences, acknowledging the pain without letting it define us, we discover an inner resilience that allows us to ride the waves with grace.

Moving with the Sea

“Move with the sea.” It’s a call to surrender to the currents of life, recognizing that resistance often intensifies the struggle.

By moving with the sea, we release the need for control, allowing the natural forces to guide us. In doing so, we find a sense of acceptance that becomes the foundation for healing.

Let the Rhythm Set Your Soul Free

“Let the rhythm of the water set your soul free.” In the dance of life, there’s a rhythm that transcends the chaos—a rhythm that, when embraced, leads to freedom.

It’s a freedom born from the understanding that, despite the pain, our souls have an innate ability to heal and rediscover joy.

For the Beautiful Souls

This message is for the beautiful souls who have experienced trauma and have emerged as resilient warriors.

Your strength is an inspiration, and your journey is a testament to the transformative power of the human spirit.

Your scars tell a story of survival, and your light shines as a beacon of hope for others navigating stormy seas.

A Promise of Light

To those who are still caught in the nets of pain, I want to offer a promise: there is light at the end of the tunnel.

The storms may rage, but they do not last forever. Your capacity to endure is greater than you realize, and as you dance with the waves, you’ll discover an inner strength that guides you towards the serenity you deserve.

Wishing You Peace

I wish you all kindness, love, blessings, and, above all else, peace.

May the dance of life lead you to a place of healing, and may the rhythm of your soul set you free from the depths of pain.

You are not alone, and there is a community of support ready to embrace you as you navigate the seas of life.

So, my beautiful souls, dance with resilience, move with acceptance, and let the rhythm of healing waters set your soul free. The journey may be challenging, but there is a symphony of hope playing just beyond the waves. Embrace it, and may your life be filled with the harmonious melodies of peace and recovery.

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Relationships

Healing

By 60plus&lovinglife August 24, 2023 0

As I reflect on what it takes to heal from an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist, I am mindful to let you know that this is my personal journey, based on my lived experiences. Your experiences will differ, however there will be points of commonality and synchronicity and some of what I write about may resonate with you.

Healing from anything takes time, healing from trauma takes time. Some days you will feel fine and the world will be a glorious place. Other days you reflect on what you went through and feel sad. Healing is not borne from and does not dwell in anger or bitterness, rather it comes from a place of love and light and a genuine desire to heal the wounds within.

Although I do have every right to be angry and to express anger – no-one should be telling you that you can’t be angry at being mistreated. It is healthy to acknowledge anger and to deal with it in appropriate ways. Being with a narcissist, especially for several years, is a rollercoaster of trauma and takes some processing from which to recover and move on.

The constant walking on eggshells, the constant keeping the peace so they don’t go into a tantrum and scream at you. The constant emotional torture, warm and kind for a brief while, then cold, distant and remote and ignoring you, even when you are seated or laying right next to them is cruelty. You never know which one they will be on any given day.

The constant emotional manipulation, the (not so subtle) put-downs. Trying to navigate that terrain is both exhausting and emotionally debilitating. You come out the other side relieved and feeling like you escaped and you feel grateful every single day that that person is no longer in your life bringing you pain and grief.

They always play the victim, they will tell you every ex was a “psycho” – until you realise that they were the ones who destroyed their past partners. Narcissists are incapable of having a warm, loving and emotionally fulfilling relationship. There is something seriously lacking in their psyche. They are emotionally cold, they feel that they are superior to everyone around them and that they are always right.

If you unmask them, they will unleash a fury that is astonishing to behold. They will lash out in a frenzy and you need to make sure you dance away out of their reach!

Coming to terms with all of this is a convoluted journey. It’s not a linear path, there are twists and turns and some dead ends. You just keep moving forwards and looking after yourself, nurturing yourself, surrounding yourself with love and light and most of all be kind to yourself. You have been hurt deeply and you need to heal that hurt and gently put yourself back together again.

I do not dwell in anger and I certainly harbour no bitterness. You see, if you mire yourself in anger and bitterness, they have won. They have emotionally destroyed you. Do not let them. Feel your anger, deal with it the best way you know how and move on.

Talk with family and friends if they are supportive and understanding, if not seek professional help if you can afford it. If all else fails read everything you can get your hands on about how to recover from emotional abuse. Some of it will be helpful, some not so much. But for sure, it will give you a path to healing and recovery, it’s up to you to take that path as complex as it may be and feel.

I absolutely have the right to acknowledge and explore my feelings and to share them with you – perhaps I have touched on something in your life that causes you grief or pain. Perhaps I have given you pause to reflect upon your relationship, do you recognise yourself in my words?

Do you know a loved one or friend who is in an emotionally abusive relationship? Can you reach out to them? If they come to you, just listen – don’t try to solve it for them, just listen and be there. Often that is all that is needed, for now.

Writing is cathartic. It is an avenue for exploration and understanding. It allows me to reflect, to work through the knots of trauma, to gently untangle those knots and allow them to drift away in the breeze.

My healing journey belongs to me and no-one can take that away from me. How I choose to heal is the right way for me, how you choose to heal is the right way for you❤️

mainimagecredit:AI_Wagner

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