60plus and loving life

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Not a grandmother and that’s ok!
musings about ageing

Not a grandmother and that’s ok!

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Not a grandmother and I’m totally fine with that!

First up I will say that grandparents are awesome and I’m happy for you if you have grandies. Ok, now onto my story. My daughter, who is in her early 30s, told me a couple of years back that she decided she did not want to have children. She is of that generation of women that carefully consider their life choices and make decisions based on what is right for them. 

I recall back when I was younger, in my early/mid 20s (in the 1980s, sheesh that was a long while ago!) there was a lot of pressure to have children. Whether you would make a good parent or not, the societal expectation was very much that you marry and have children (not always in that order 😂) but you get my drift, yes?

I was called selfish as I wasn’t sure I wanted children and dared to voice my opinion (I also didn’t get around to having my daughter until I was almost 32, which was not so common back in the day). I was puzzled at the idea of being called selfish for not wanting children. I still don’t quite get it. Young women make different and better choices these days, but there is still pressure and the ‘selfish’ word still gets thrown around a bit.

Choosing to live a full and happy life of work, travel, relationships, friends, volunteering, pets, hobbies, interests, fitness and fun seems a sensible choice to me. The world can be a bit of an unsettling place and not one we necessarily wish to bring children into. That said, I realize that people choose to have children as it’s a deep seated desire/need for them and again, good for them, but it’s not for everyone and that is fine and dandy.

I also hear folk of my age group who pester their adult children into having children as they want to be made ‘grandparents’ and have meaning and purpose in their lives. Heck, my mother pestered me and she already had a few grandies before I got around to producing another. She used to point to a space on the wall that she left ready for my child’s portrait, in between all the others. I told her I’d give her a photo of my cat, I think I was ahead of my time or just cheeky. Same/same!

I do not need grandchildren to add value to my life. I am content with my life and my relationship with my daughter is loving and close.

The photo for this post is of me and my daughter when she was a baby 🥰 and I 100% support her in any decision she makes about her life as an adult and I am incredibly proud of the way she has turned out. She is loving, kind, generous, thoughtful, smart and absolutely my best friend!

 

 

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Playing around with images…
random thoughts...

Playing around with images…

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Having fun with digital art and images

First up, this is not an advertisement and I am not suggesting you use the website I am talking about. I use Canva at work and home to develop digital images. I have a bit of fun playing around with it, but I am by no means an expert nor do I have a particularly good artistic eye.

I use the free version and find that I can generally find either a free template or adapt one of my photos to play around with and hopefully improve.

I got an email from Canva this week (and like pretty much every website, I get daily updates all the time and most I just delete). This one caught my attention. It was a new option to change text to images. Basically you type in text and then Canva gives you a selection of four images based on the words you have entered. The feature image of this post was one of “butterflies in a field”. Not exactly a super creative idea, but the image is sweet and pretty.

I found this intriguing and kind of fun. I think it’s still in the testing phase and I guess eventually they will charge for it. I jumped onto the site and spent a creative (wasteful) half an hour creating images from sentences. Like a “golden fluffy dog in a magical forest” This is one of the four images suggested:

fluffy dog in a magical forest

You can get the images in various formats for social media posting. I opted for blogpost images for obvious reasons! 😅

I tried to get a bit more creative and put in “Beautiful Australian wildflowers” as I have a fondness for the flora of my country. What I got was certainly pretty, but not exactly specific to our wildflowers. Nonetheless, I did have a lot of fun playing around with this new part of Canva. Like I said, this is not an endorsement or an advertisement, just me having fun, playing around with something different and new!

flowers

 

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Gratitude
health and fitness

Gratitude

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What does gratitude look like to you?

Everyone talks about gratitude and how to include gratefulness into your everyday life. Whether that’s thinking of 5 things to be grateful for when you wake up or recalling 5 things from the day when you go to sleep. You can even buy a “gratitude journal” to record and review your thoughts.

I try to remember to incorporate thoughts of gratitude most days. Some days are easier. For example, when it’s a lovely sunny day or something goes well in my daily life or my dog looks at me in that cute, doggie way!

When I was younger the thought of gratitude was not high on my list. I had a lot of resentments about life. Why did my relationships always end (and often end badly), why couldn’t I hang on to someone? Why were my jobs so difficult? I had many great career opportunities in my mid life, but the early years were difficult, heck so were some of my career choices! I’ve also had my fair share of mean or bullying bosses and that can make your work life intolerable.

I often used to say to myself that if either my work life or my relationship life were ok, then I was fine. But if both fell apart, then life became overwhelming! There were times when both did spectacularly fall apart and I’d be left reeling.

At one point I went to see a psychologist to try and figure things out with some counselling. They said I was smart enough to figure things out for myself (really? then why was I in their office seeking help?) I got sent home with a bunch of articles and notes on books I should read. The one takeaway that I found of value was the concept of daily gratitude.

Initially it was a struggle to find things that invoked gratitude, but it did become easier over time. Although it is always easier if life is being reasonable! However, it is definitely worth it when life is complex and difficult.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and that diagnosis actually helped a lot. It made sense of things and I finally understood that constant feeling of underlying dread and fear that has been a constant thread in my life. I try to maintain a “drama” free lifestyle and I prefer to not have people or situations in my life that create mayhem and havoc. Sometimes it is unavoidable and I have had people who are manipulative and controlling trying to have a negative impact on my life.

However, I am way better at identifying this behaviour from the get-go and that really changes my response. I create a safe space within my mind and my heart that allows me the distance needed to understand what is going on and to recognize that it is not about me, it’s about them! ❤️

 

 

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Seniors Card!
musings about ageing

Seniors Card!

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It finally arrived in the mail…

I am so excited! My partner laughed at me, he said he’d never seen anyone so happy to be getting older! And I’m like “but, senior’s card!” What’s not to be happy about? 😊

I became eligible when I turned 64 and I started working part-time. It’s a fantastic card to have if you ask me. I get a whole bunch of discounts which are really helpful.

The discounts include my council (shire) rates and water rates; free public transport (trains & buses) and a concession rate during peak travel times; cinema, gym membership, swimming pool, home security & hearing aids (not that I need those yet!) and a 10% discount at my local vet (perfect for my dog, those vet bills can be steep!)

There’s also a number of competitions and prizes being run. There’s one I’ve entered for a trip to Vietnam which would be really cool. There is a photography competition and I’m thinking of entering in a couple of the categories. I may or may not win any of these competitions, but I certainly enjoy having the opportunity to enter.

Having this card has opened up a whole new world and I am thrilled!

If you live in Western Australia, here is the link to the website so you can see if are eligible!

 

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What are you scared of?
musings about ageing

What are you scared of?

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A few of my fears – we all have some.

I guess I could say that there have been many things that have freaked me out over the years. I used to be terrified of public speaking. I got over that one when I started working as a university lecturer – no time to panic when you have to deliver a lecture to a room full of students! I would still sometimes feel faint and nauseated at the beginning of a lecture, but once I settled into the rhythm and (mostly) got the room engaged, it was fine.

I didn’t have much of a choice, I was studying for my PhD and I was a single mother and needed to work to top up my scholarship. I was offered tutoring first, then the opportunity to deliver lectures. I know that wanting to provide the best I could for my daughter meant not giving in to the panic. Besides which, I come from fairly humble origins and I was first in family to reach higher education. That is a privilege that many people still don’t have, so I took a breath and walked into my first class ready to teach.

I am also unnerved by spiders. I know they are useful to have around and they keep other bugs in line (mosquitoes and suchlike). But there is literally nothing more scream-worthy than unknowingly walking into a spider’s web outside, feeling the sticky web in your face and hair and then panicking that a big, juicy spider is likely now wandering about in your hair or down your back! 🕷️

I grew up in Melbourne, Australia. We had huntsman spiders in our back shed that were as big as mice. Big, grey and fluffy with a long leg span! Seriously go google huntsman spider pictures and you’ll see what I mean! I would post a pic here, but I don’t want to unnecessarily freak anyone out. They are fairly harmless and don’t really bother people, but they sure do look intimidating.

My other fear is a fear of heights. I get quite faint and wobbly if I am anywhere near a clifftop or looking at the view from a tall building. Heck, even walking over a pedestrian road bridge can make me uncomfortable.

As I get older though, I find that some fears have either faded out somewhat or I can manage them better. A couple of years back, right before the pandemic hit, I was on a trip with my partner and his family in Bali. It was a holiday for my partner’s birthday and I had only been with him for around 6 months. I wanted to do something special for him, so I booked a day trip to Bali Swing in Ubud. You are literally sitting on a wooden swing with rope handles and then pushed out over the jungle and rice fields. The views are spectacular! My partner likes to be a bit adventurous, so I thought it an ideal and unique birthday experience for him.

He loved it, he tried all of the options and he was thrilled. He then said it was my turn! Oof! And I did it! I wasn’t mad keen, however I thought it was a once in a lifetime experience, and that it would be an amazing outlook and view. And it was. It really was beautiful and scary and exhilarating. I’m glad I overcame my lifelong fear of heights to try this one thing. For me it was a challenge and an experience worth overcoming my fear. Plus I have the photos to prove it! 😂

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You do you and I’ll do me!
health and fitness

You do you and I’ll do me!

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Unwanted 0pinions!

I was having coffee with a friend yesterday and we were chatting about our interests. I’d been to the gym that morning and he commented that I seem to go to the gym a lot. I’m like mmhmm and I run, swim and dance. I’m very active and I like to stay fit and healthy, for me it helps with the ageing process and I feel better for working on my fitness. He then asked if it was an “escape.” I’m like huh? I was feeling a bit annoyed at this stage as there was a level of judgement coming through. I said, no, it’s not an escape, I actually enjoy staying fit and healthy.

He then said that people can take it too far. I’m not sure what he meant by that, however I said what I do to stay fit and healthy and strong is for me. I don’t comment or pass judgement on other people’s choices, I’m not the “fitness or health police”.  But I was feeling like I had to justify what I do with my life.

He then told me a story of a dear friend of his who died suddenly (helicopter accident). He said his friend was really fit and only ate healthy food and didn’t drink alcohol. He then said “If my friend were still alive, I’m sure he’d say he wished he’d eaten more burgers and junk food!”

Alrighty. I offered my condolences, because it was sad that his friend had passed. I didn’t say anything else as it seemed as if he was using that story to again throw shade on my fit and healthy lifestyle. But I can for sure, hand on heart, say that if I died suddenly; I definitely would not think with my last breath on earth that I should have eaten more burgers! I would hope I had time to have a final thought of love for my daughter and gratitude for my life.

Find your own path in life and let me follow mine!

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Crunchy or soft towels?
musings about ageing

Crunchy or soft towels?

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How do you like your towels?

I was reading my book and the main character was expecting a guest over. So she ran about tidying her apartment and changing towels in the guest bathroom.

The commentary was on her embarrassment at not having soft towels as she’d run out of fabric softener.

Two things came to mind. One, when I was a child, we never used fabric softener in the wash, not sure it was even a thing back in the day.

Second, as an adult, I’ve never taken to soft towels. I never feel dry enough after a shower. It is harder these days to actually find towels that are a bit rough.

Not putting them in the clothes dryer helps. For me a rough towel is a great exfoliator as well 😂

What are your thoughts? Soft and fluffy or thin and crunchy?

Bit like a pizza base, which I also prefer thin and crunchy! 😋 Speaking of which, I’ll be making home made pizza for dinner tonight…

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Muscle tone as you get older…
health and fitness

Muscle tone as you get older…

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The importance of muscle tone for older folk!

I wasn’t sure whether to categorize this under health & fitness or musings on ageing… it’s kinda both

I was at the pool today soaking up some sun and contemplating a swim and listening to one of my favourite health podcasts. They were talking about the importance of muscle tone for people as they get older, citing research that shows that muscle-mass decreases over the age of 30. They then went on to talk about what one can do in one’s 30s, 40s and 50s to keep and improve muscle tone.

And here’s me invisible and 64! I mean, they didn’t have to include discussion of us older ones, but it’s like there was a cut-off point in the conversation. They didn’t say “those over 50”. It was very much up to and in your 50s. Perhaps they think it’s too late for us! 😂

Part of the conversation was about women being concerned about becoming too “bulky” or being too “muscly” and thus frightened of weight/strength training. I guess that is still a thing for some women, but not for me and I would encourage every woman to consider some form of strength training. Having strong muscles means I can have an active, hectic and fun life! It means my lower back is fine as I have a strong core and abdominal muscles. Heck, my lower back is better in my 60s than it was in my 30s when I only swam for exercise.

Once I hit 40, I included regular weight and strength training every week (in addition to my cardio/running) and I can tell you that I certainly have not bulked up (not that there is anything wrong with that if someone is keen to gain more muscle mass). I am strong and I am toned. I am fit and I can run, jump, swim, cycle, dance, lift weights and sleep!

I also throw in a balance class each week, that is a mixture of yoga, pilates and balance exercises. It’s important to stay stretchy, flexible and balanced on your feet the older you get.

Podcast over, time to jump in the pool for my 20 laps! 🏊‍♀️

set up for my pump class…

 

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My dog George
all about the dog

My dog George

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George the Spoodle…

My daughter paid for a photoshoot for my dog (and me, but mostly for my dog George). It was a lovely and thoughtful gift. Part of it includes one of the photos being transferred onto canvas so I can have it up on my wall. 🥰 When it’s ready, I’ll do another post so you can see how it turned out.

George is super photogenic and looks gorgeous in pics, he’s pretty good at posing too! 😂 He is quite the character. We went to a beautiful park on the other side of the city, in the late afternoon, so the photographer could catch the late afternoon/early evening light. The photographer was really relaxed and gentle with him and she had plenty of treats as well, much to George’s delight!

We actually had really good fun, George posed in between scampering about and catching up with new doggie friends. A couple of times the photographer and I actually fell about laughing at his antics. I think we were there for around one and a half hours and it never felt forced or stressful, which is important when working with animals. It all has to be natural and gently engaging for the dog and also allow the dog to feel comfortable being photographed.

The photos she sent me are really beautiful and captured his nature perfectly. I also know he is getting older (shhhh, don’t tell him, he thinks he’s still a puppy!) and at 11 years old our time together is at the shorter end. Which literally brings me to tears.

I can’t thank my daughter enough for this gift. ❤️

 

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Smart Home Tech…
random thoughts...

Smart Home Tech…

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Time to upgrade to smart home tech?

I moved into my unit just over a year ago. Downsized from my house to somewhere more manageable, more modern and with a courtyard rather than an unruly garden to upkeep. No disrespect to all the awesome gardeners out there, but gardening is not my thing! I have a couple of mini fruit trees and a few other plants in tubs and that’s just perfect for me. Low maintenance and I still have a lovely space to sit in of an evening to enjoy the fresh air and summer breezes.

I’ve upgraded a few things inside. I put in a new air conditioner in the open plan area (the old one was spitting out ice shards and was not working that well). I also put an air con unit in the main bedroom, it has a ceiling fan, which is perfect. However, it can get mighty hot here in the summer.

I changed up my gas cooktop to an induction/convection cooktop and I love it! It’s far more economical energy wise, doesn’t discolour or burn the bottom of saucepans – so that’s a definite win for me. Cooking is nice and easy too, it’s a bit faster to heat up, so you need a minute to get used to it and then it’s fine and dandy.

My next upgrade is smart home tech. I found a company that does a range of products, from smart lighting, a garage door that can be remotely closed if you forget to do it on your way out (and who hasn’t forgotten that now and again?) The garage door can also be opened remotely (all from an app on your phone) if you need to give someone access. There is also the option to program your air conditioning to come on just before you get home or to go on during the day if it gets too hot and you want to keep your pets cool!

In terms of security, I was chatting with the sales guy and he said they have “bank level” security. Well, mmhmm. But what does that even mean? Which bank? Which country/countries do they adopt as the standard? Australia, UK, Europe or the U.S? Even banks within a country have different levels of standards. SSL Labs (they can test the strength of a website’s security) have tested the four top banks in Australia. Only one had an A rating, the others were B and F and none were A+. Not very reassuring!

Not surprisingly, the sales guy had no idea when I asked him. He’s selling me the products, it doesn’t mean he has the technical expertise to answer my questions about security. However, he should have had the information easily accessible. Saying it’s “bank level” is meaningless. It probably is enough to satisfy most customers as it sounds impressive. But, given all the data breaches lately, I would anticipate they have a better answer for the once in a blue moon customer (me) who asks more probing questions.

Generally, smart home security is at the ISP level and your WiFi password. My ISP claims they have top level security to ensure no data breaches and that’s only if they are one step ahead of any hackers. Your WiFi password needs to be strong, don’t use the default that comes with your modem and definitely do not use things like your date of birth (or your kid’s) or the name of your dog or anything else that is easy to guess or hack.

Should you install smart home tech? Maybe, maybe not. Hopefully some of the above helps you in making an informed decision. The main thing is – do no be afraid to ask questions. Be prepared, be confident, sound knowledgeable and don’t be snowed by the sales pitch!

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