karma – 60plus and loving life

The Dark Side of Wishing Harm: A Tale of Compassion and Resilience

By 60plus&lovinglife September 21, 2023 0

I have previously written about the car accident I was in a couple months back. But I am writing another post about it, because there was an unexpected plot twist. Please, if you may, read on to find out!

In life, we often encounter challenges and obstacles that test our patience and resilience. But nothing could have prepared me for the shocking cruelty of a wish that no one should ever experience—an ill-wishing from that toxic ex that was so sinister that it pierced through the realms of empathy and humanity.

It all began on a day like any other, with the barely rising sun casting its gentle rays upon the road, painting the world with a soft light and hope. Little did I know that the fallout from this day would forever change my perspective on the power of compassion and the ugliness of ill-wishing.

As I was driving to the gym, the calmness of the day was suddenly shattered by a jarring collision. I barely had time to react as the young nurse behind the wheel of the other car, exhausted from an overnight shift, missed a give-way sign and crashed into my vehicle. The sound of crumpling metal was deafening, and my heart raced as I tried to process what had just happened.

Amid the chaos and the haze of confusion, I stepped out of my car to confront the damage. But my shock quickly turned to disbelief as I saw the condition of the other driver. The young nurse, her eyes filled with tears, was trembling and distraught. She looked as if she had just seen her world crumble before her eyes.

In that moment, any upset I may have felt about the accident was overshadowed by a deep sense of empathy and concern for this young woman. I approached her gently, offering a hug and words of comfort.

I reassured her that no one had been injured, emphasizing that cars can be fixed or replaced, but lives cannot. She clung to me, tears streaming down her face, and I could feel the weight of her distress. She kept apologizing for her loss of attention and she was deeply upset that she may have potentially injured or killed someone.

It was during this profoundly emotional encounter that I realized the true essence of humanity—our capacity for empathy and compassion, even in the face of adversity.

In that moment of vulnerability, the nurse and I connected on a level that transcended the accident. We were two strangers brought together by a twist of fate, finding solace in each other’s understanding and support.

However, what happened next was as shocking as it was heartbreaking. My toxic ex, upon hearing about the accident, decided to exploit the situation in the most despicable way possible.

He sent me a message (on my blog some time after the accident) and called it my “karma” and used the accident as an opportunity to wish me harm, as if I deserved to be hurt for an unfortunate event that was beyond anyone’s control. By extension, by ill-wishing me, he also ill-wished a poor, young nurse and that is despicable.

Such a callous and vindictive response to a situation filled with pain and distress left me stunned and disheartened. It served as a stark reminder that some people choose to revel in the suffering of others, blinded by their own bitterness and resentment.

It revealed the true character of my ex, a person capable of harboring dark thoughts and ill-wishes even in the face of human suffering. My family and friends were shocked beyond measure when I showed them the message.

In the end, this experience taught me two valuable lessons. First, accidents happen, and they are never anyone’s “karma.” We must approach them with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to support one another.

Second, it revealed the true measure of a person’s character, which can be exposed in the most unexpected moments.

As I reflect on this harrowing incident, I choose to focus on the compassion and resilience that emerged from it. I am grateful for the opportunity to comfort and reassure the young nurse, and I am determined to rise above the darkness of ill-wishing and cruelty.

I am deeply grateful that neither she nor I or anyone else were killed or injured. That is all that matters.

In the face of adversity, kindness and empathy will always prevail, reminding us that, no matter how wicked the world may seem at times, our humanity can shine through the darkest of moments.

imagecredit:peetalystudio

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Relationships

Karma and can there be redemption for narcissists?

By 60plus&lovinglife August 31, 2023 0

Have you ever felt that maybe you are someone’s karma? Hear me out. Oft times we have had toxic people in our lives and we and our loved ones say “karma” will sort them out. However, mostly you never know if it does or does not. I find that it probably does, but we will never really know. You just have to trust.

Actions and Consequences:

In the intricate dance of life, we often witness the delicate balance between actions and consequences. Narcissists, who thrive on manipulation and deceit, may find themselves facing a unique form of karma when the spotlight of truth is finally cast upon them.

Narcissists often wield manipulation, gaslighting, and victimhood as tools to maintain control over others. Their actions create a tangled web of deception that can cast shadows over the lives of those they touch.

For a while, it might seem that they operate without consequences, but the truth has a way of making its presence felt, no matter how elaborate the disguise.

When the spotlight of truth shines upon them:

Imagine the moment when the spotlight of truth shines upon a narcissist’s carefully constructed façade. It’s a revelation that pierces through the layers of deceit, exposing the darkness that has been hidden in plain sight. This moment can be powerful and transformative, both for the narcissist and for those who have been affected by their actions.

My lived experience with a toxic narcissist:

Was possibly one of the most unpleasant and destructive situations I have had the misfortune to find myself within. They choose their targets well. People often think they only seek out the “weak”. However, this is not the case. Often they target someone who is intelligent as that presents more of a challenge for them.

At times I literally felt he was the devil and I would get chills at his callous words and behaviour. He made a point of appearing to be clean-cut and to all intents and purposes disguised as a decent human. He looked like he was ready to step into church services on any day of the week, but it was all just a façade to mask the evil within.

But below that neat and tidy, yet false demeanor, lurked a cold and hateful heart. Often I would feel emotionally detached after being the target of his scathing words and actions. The destructive behaviour of a narcissist leaves you reeling, you literally don’t know which way is up by the time they are done tormenting you.

When you speak your truth and they recognize themselves in your words:

When faced with the unrelenting gaze of truth, a narcissist’s world can unravel. The façade they so carefully cultivated begins to crumble, revealing the emptiness beneath. This moment can be both humbling and enlightening.

For the first time, they confront the consequences of their actions and the pain they’ve inflicted on others. It’s a karma of their own making, a mirror reflecting back the reality they’ve tried so hard to deny.

a quote on Karma will catch up — *imagecredit:sitaramsatu*

As the spotlight of truth exposes the narcissist’s actions, it also offers an opportunity for growth and change. Some may resist, retreating further into denial. Others might experience a moment of clarity, recognizing the destructive path they’ve followed.

It’s a pivotal moment that can lead to a crossroads of transformation, where they can choose to confront their flaws and embark on a journey of self-improvement.

When the spotlight of truth shines upon a narcissist, it’s not about reveling in their downfall, but about accountability and growth. The karma they face is a reflection of the energy they’ve put out into the world.

Whether they choose to remain in denial or take the path of redemption, the exposure of truth serves as a reminder that actions have consequences, and the choices we make shape the journey of our lives.

For those who have been hurt by a narcissist’s actions, the spotlight of truth can bring a sense of validation and closure. It’s a chance to reclaim their own narrative and heal from the wounds inflicted by deceit.

While karma doesn’t always manifest as instant retribution, the exposure of truth can be a step towards restoring balance and justice.

p.s. Dear Narcissist, thank you for giving me so much to write about, I am very grateful😁I’ll bet you never expected your legacy would be to help so many women deal with toxic relationships via my writing & my blog! Inadvertently you have done us all a service. Peace out man✌️

main image credit:HalleyRoom

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Relationships

Move on – no, seriously. Move on!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 9, 2023March 21, 2023 0

I was watching this guy on TikTok, Paul Scanlon. He’s a mentor and is big on self-awareness and being true to your authentic self.

One of his videos made me laugh and almost spit out my morning coffee!

He basically said: “Don’t blame a clown for acting like a clown. Ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.”

Well then.

Ok.

So today’s message is simple. If you are entangled with a toxic person who literally acts like a clown (aka – gaslighting, emotionally abusive, narcissistic behaviour, lacks empathy and compassion and treats you poorly). Then leave the circus! 🤡

Take the broken pieces of yourself and take the time to heal. Nurture yourself. Practice self-care. If you haven’t already read my blog post on self-care after a relationship breakdown (click the link and it’ll open in a new tab, then come back, I’ll be waiting).

You need to look after you. Don’t worry about them. Clowns will be clowns, they literally just move onto the next one and start their appalling behaviour all over again.

But don’t worry. Karma is real. You won’t necessarily know when or how, but rest assured, karma is waiting for them in the wings and when she strikes, they won’t know what hit them.

You focus on you. Love and nurture yourself. Surround yourself with your people who love and care for you.

Do something special for yourself. Stop the spiraling thoughts. Focus on every positive thing in your life, even the small ones. Be grateful you are here and that you have another day to make your own.

You have got this! I believe in you, because I believe in myself too!

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