60plus and loving life

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Who am I? A year of learning about myself, more than I ever thought I could be!
musings about ageing

Who am I? A year of learning about myself, more than I ever thought I could be!

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I caught up with a good friend of mine for lunch today. We always talk about random things and deep dive on any issues we might have and untangle thoughts and feelings to get at the core of things.

It’s wonderful to have friends like that and she is an absolute gem!

We talked about my health which has been a bit of a dumpster fire this year. My friend talked about my identity as a healthy and fit woman. She is correct, my identity is very much wrapped around health & fitness and being a role model for women in their 60s.

Heck, one of the reasons I started this blog was to talk about health & fitness and how to stay well as one ages!

My family of origin has and is riddled with heart disease, metabolic illness, and COPD.

My whole life and part of my motivation to stay healthy and fit was to keep, primarily, heart disease at bay and I can say I have been overwhelmingly successful in this endeavour.

So, you can imagine my utter shock when cancer decided to knock on the door earlier this year. Specifically, breast cancer. No-one in my family has had breast cancer and it took some time to wrap my head around it all and what that meant for my health, fitness, and self-identity.

This year has had enough plot twists to write a book about. On top of the breast cancer, I was diagnosed with non-Hodgin Lymphoma, Lymphocytic Colitis and then Sudden Sensorineuro Hearing loss in my left ear – meaning I will need surgery to be fitted with a Cochlear Implant.

In amongst all of these hectic challenges, I have kept my spirits up, dealing with one thing at a time. I have kept up my exercise regimen when I could.

There were some weeks when recovering from a procedure or two, that I have had to take a break to rest and recuperate. I have had to take the time to allow my body and spirit time to rest and recover and to get better.

If I couldn’t go for a run, I’d go for a brisk walk. If I couldn’t go to the gym to do weights training, I’d pick up an extra yoga or Pilates class. Going for a swim is always a nice option, gentle, weight bearing and slow. Dancing is a constant too.

If it was all too much, then resting, reading, walking my dog, and spending gentle time with family and my friends were the order of the day!

I also had some emotional turmoil to deal with this year. A person whose sole purpose in life seemed to be to relentlessly bully me via my blog and to get his minion to do likewise.

Generally, I am very much of the opinion that bullies are just cowards that if you ignore them, they eventually go away. But this one was unrelentingly persistent.

In the end I got rid of them, but it took some work to do so and if they ever rear their heads again, I will go straight to the Magistrate and get an AVO. I have all the written evidence and witnesses of in-person bullying and harassment. Plus, nasty sh*t sent to friends of mine, that has also been kept as evidence.

All up the year has presented some unique issues for me to deal with and overcome.

But you know what? I am resilient, I am strong, I fully believe my fitness has enabled me to deal with the health issues effectively. Exercise and eating well also helps with emotional upheaval.

The other thing I have in my favour is a supportive family and the best friends and community. They literally wrap themselves around me like a warm hug!

I am blessed and honoured and humbled by the love and support I have received this year.

imagecredit:negativespace,quotebyauthor

 

 

 

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Health, fitness, dogs, dancing and coffee!
health and fitness

Health, fitness, dogs, dancing and coffee!

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I take my health and fitness very seriously. I am committed to healthy (and balanced) eating and exercising most days of the week. I love to run outdoors and I also love heading to my favourite gym and jumping into a weights, yoga or cardio class. I love my fitness instructors and my workout buddies.

I also love to dance and I have a whole community of dance friends, including my lovely teachers. The older one gets, the more important it is to keep moving, do some resistance training, stretching and balance work.

Sometimes you can get stopped dead in your tracks. I’ve had to take some time out from my fitness regimen as I’ve had a couple of health issues to deal with, including numerous tests, biopsies and a surgery.

When I say time out, I mean from my full on routine. I haven’t entirely stopped. Well, not until Covid bit me again – that stopped me for a whole couple days!

I had to slow down on the weights training after the surgery to give myself time to heal. No problem, I went for super long, brisk walks and a hike in the countryside. Then returned to dancing once the surgeon gave me the all-clear. Which was literally a week after surgery as I was healing so well.

That is why I stay healthy and fit. It helps my day to day life, eases life stresses, keeps me emotionally balanced and prepared me for facing a couple of health scares that I really did not anticipate.

I was back running and hit a cardio class last week. This week I was cleared to head back to weights training.

Then I got bloody Covid again! Seriously?!? I had it last July and not too bad, this time was about the same. I felt absolute garbage for a couple of days with a temperature/fever. Then that cleared and I started to feel better day by day and today I am feeling fine and dandy.

I know that restrictions and isolation rules have ended. However, I am mindful that other folk are more susceptible to getting really sick, so I have spent all of this week at home.

Yesterday and today I was able to get outside and go for a couple of long (6km) walks with George (my dog) and a quick car trip to the drive through coffee place. I took Georgie-boy with me, so he could get his dog bikkie from the server. The pic above is George waiting on his dog treat – that face!🥰

I also have a favorite YouTube exercise woman who does a weights workout that I enjoy. I have weights and exercise equipment at home, in fact, one of my spare rooms is set up like a mini gym. Useful when I can’t run in the dark or on heavy rainfall mornings.

So, for the first time in a while I did some weights training and oof! I am feeling it today, but you know what? I’ma going to do it all over again today. It’s such a wonderful feeling to notice my muscles are in action again!

I am giddily excited at the idea of going back to my full on training next week. Really cannot wait!

I tested negative to Covid this morning, and fortunately so, as I have an action packed weekend coming up. Two dances – tonight & tomorrow night💃🕺

Plus my gorgeous partner has booked us in for a private lesson to learn the Viennese Waltz tomorrow during the day. That’ll be a challenge for me. I can do the basic box step regular waltz. I’ve watched couples dance the Viennese Waltz and it looks so elegant and flowy! I surely hope I can channel my inner elegance and learn this lovely dance routine! I’ll let y’all know how I go…❤️

 

 

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Crossroads
health and fitness

Crossroads

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When you reach a crossroad in your life, what do you do to move forward and nurture yourself?

For me that is self-care, writing this blog, going to the gym, running outdoors and staying connected with family and friends. Oh and dancing, always dancing!

Taking the time to pause, reflect and think about the best way forward. Again, for me, that means eating well (aka healthily), re-committing to my exercise regimen and going out and having fun.

I am fortunate that I have good friends, I can draw them around me like a cloak of warmth and love.

My daughter is my best friend and closest ally. We have always had a close and loving relationship. We are each other’s cheer squad. We also understand each other’s low times.

My sister is always there, every single day. Even though she lives over 3,000km away. We message and chat every day. She checks in with me and I with her.

I value good health and fitness, they are my life and they allow me to live my life in the best way possible.

The thing that I do not value is toxic people, unfortunately they can enter one’s life when you let your guard down. Often in the guise of superficial charm. However, if you allow toxicity in, you will find in time that the cracks show and the poison seeps out, sometimes so slowly that you don’t realize that you have been covered in a miasma of unhealthy behaviours. You will catch glimpses, but you may rationalize them away, easier than admitting you have made a mistake.

It is often only when you step out of that connection that you can fully reflect upon all the damaging patterns that recurred like an endless groundhog day.

But when you do step away, pick up your strength and remember who you are. Firmly put one foot in front of the other and move in a healthier and happier direction. Forwards, always forwards. Don’t look back. There is nothing to see in the rear view mirror.

Life can be beautiful and it can be cruel. I choose to focus on the beautiful. Nature, friendship, family, my dog, love and kindness, respect and warmth. Trust me, it is there!

a little pic of Georgie-boy running in the park…

 

 

 

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Breakups!
Relationships

Breakups!

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How to build resilience during/after a relationship breakup…

My relationship of 3 and 1/2 years recently hit the skids. Unfortunate and kinda sad, but such is life!

I did not instigate the breakup, I’m more a person who likes to take time to figure things out and try to resolve any tensions. Oh well.

Anyway, this post is about building resilience, it’s how I deal with traumatic life events and what works for me. Take what resonates and leave the rest if it does not.

First up. Do not wallow in self pity. Sure it’s tempting to rock in the corner sobbing over a container of Ben & Jerry’s or sit hugging a bottle of wine. However, that really does not help. Not at all. You might think it’s comforting, but it’s not. You only end up having a pity party for one and feeling even more crap!

Pick yourself up and take care of yourself. You are important, you are valued and you have to look after yourself.

I think relationship breakups send us into a state of shock and you feel somewhat unmoored and adrift in life. What once was there has suddenly gone and you are left reeling.

As you know from earlier posts, I am big on exercise and healthy eating. It helps with my physical and emotional well-being. Therefore, when life throws me a curve ball, I ramp it all up.

Literally.

1. Exercise

I spend more time at the gym. Seriously, you cannot wallow or worry if you are lifting weights and doing endless squats and lunges. Ramping up your exercise regimen is a good thing. You feel strong and powerful and your mind is very much focused on the next move. I also have a lot of friends at the gym and I love my instructors, it’s such a supportive and social environment. If the gym is not your thing, increase whatever it is you do for exercise, take longer walks, swim further, dance more! Trust me, it helps a lot.

2. Eat healthy and well

Next, I make sure that my 95%-ish plan of eating healthy food, increases to 100%. Good, healthy, nutritious food not only nourishes your body, it is giving your mind and emotions the wherewithal to stay on an even keel. You are also performing an act of self-love. Preparing and cooking beautiful meals helps with the healing process.

3. Avoid the wine

Stay away from alcohol. It’s a depressant. It alters your brain chemistry and can make you more sad and/or depressed. Just give it a miss for a while, you will feel better about yourself.

4. Connect with your social network

Spend time with your support network. My family love me and are unconditionally supportive. I have a wide network of friends that I have built over the years. I have friends from the dance community, the gym, friends I run with and friends I’ve known for years that I hang with and chat and laugh together. I am there for them in the good times and the bad and I know I can call on them in my times of need and they are there without question, offering tea, a shoulder to cry on, hugs and love. I feel honoured to be surrounded with love.

5. Don’t stay home – go out!

Accept those offers, go out, even if you don’t really feel like it. It’s important to keep up your social life and not sit at home feeling sad and blue. A lovely friend of mine has invited me to a party this evening, he often has casual get togethers with other people I know and some I don’t. I will be there. This weekend there are a couple of dances on and for sure I will be there dancing up a storm. It’s what I love and makes me feel happy.

6. Listen to uplifting music

Do not play those sad ballads, they will just bring you down and make you cry. Find a list of happy songs (whatever genre you prefer) or those breakup songs that are empowering. A couple to consider are GRL Ugly Heart, Lizzo’s Good as Hell, Taylor Swift’s Shake it Off. My current and all time favourite is Miley’s current and perfect breakup song Flowers – this one for sure you can play on repeat! It’s powerful and will help you reclaim your power!!

6. Moving forward

Yes, life will feel strange and different for a while. It’s a jolt to have been in a deeply intimate relationship with another human and then it suddenly ends. There’s really nothing you can do to change that. Do not text. Do not call. Do not stalk their social media. Mute them on socials or block if the breakup was unpleasant and the chance of a friendship developing has a snowballs chance in hell. Focus on yourself, your needs and keep moving forward one step and one day at a time. Soon enough the uncomfortable feelings will dissipate, you will find hours, then days when they do not enter your thoughts at all. And then, one day not too far in the future you will feel absolutely fine.

And as Miley says “I can love me better than you can”. Brb, just stepping out to buy myself some flowers, then go dancing!

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Self Care
health and fitness

Self Care

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In a hectic world…

…it is important to prioritize self care. It’s easy enough to forget and not focus on the things that nourish our mind, spirit and well-being.

Whether life is going well or you are in a difficult space, try to remember to be mindful that you need to be kind to yourself.

Sure, if life is tricky and you really feel you need to, then eat that ice-cream or chomp that chocolate. But then do something kind and gentle for yourself. Eat the healthy meal first, take a walk, meditate, go for a run or a swim, catch up with a friend or family member.

I aim to do a little meditation practice on most days. I keep up my exercise regimen and ramp up my healthy eating when I feel I’ve lost control of my world. In times of stress your body and mind are negatively impacted (and I’m not talking about “good” stress, which in itself can be motivating). I’m talking about those times when you hit a rough patch and you cannot quite see the way clear.

By caring for yourself you give yourself the space to reflect upon your situation and clarify your thoughts and understand what has or is happening and what you can do or if you just have to sit still for a bit or let go.

I came across an interesting take on meditation which is the concept of “sending and taking”. With each in breath we take in someone’s pain, with each out breath, we send them relief. It’s a form of focusing on others which then has the effect of increasing our compassion for others and ourselves. Here’s a link for you to read more about this practice.

Self-care is important for all the reasons I have outlined. However getting too caught up in our own thoughts and issues can be counterproductive. Hence, my resonating with this form of meditation. Look after yourself and be kind and compassionate to yourself and others ❤️

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Some days (weeks) I’m just not feeling it!
health and fitness

Some days (weeks) I’m just not feeling it!

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Health journey… (with links to reliable articles to explain medical terms and conditions)

I would love to be able to say I eat healthily and exercise every single day and for the most part I do (more or less). However, there are days (and sometimes a week or two) whereby I just don’t.

There are so many articles, books, blog posts, Instagram stories of fit, healthy and fabulous people trying to inspire us to live a better and healthier lifestyle. Some of the thoughts and images are both inspirational and sometimes discouraging as they portray a certain perfection that is not necessarily attainable. Then you have the posts of “real” images – which are better, but still.

I’m kind of one of them. Sort of. I try to show and maintain a fit and healthy image and lifestyle, I try to be relatable and real. I don’t follow any particular “diet” as I find they are limited in nutritional value and primarily set people up for failure. You can follow most diets and achieve weight loss (not necessarily an improvement in your health, unless you need to lose weight for weight related diseases such as metabolic syndrome, cardiovascular disease and/or type II diabetes).

However, most diets are self limiting and not designed to be ongoing. Especially if they are particularly restrictive, most people will either get fed up with following the diet, start craving the foods that caused their ill health in the first place or stop when they have reached a goal weight. Then go back to how it used to be and wonder why the diet hasn’t worked long term.

I’ve always said that however you eat for health, good nutrition needs to be your actual lifestyle. Your day to day eating plan, exercise regimen and how you live your life will govern your best health outcomes.

Which is why I puzzle my own self when I have days where I either eat way too much or pick up something at the store that is nutritionally unsound (crap, rubbish, junk food). I know most health promoters talk about cheat meals or treats and yes, that is all well and good. But I’m talking more about just sabotaging your own health plan and goals.

I know for me personally I need to maintain a certain body weight, I know 100% that if I go over a certain weight my blood pressure starts creeping up. High blood pressure and heart disease is in my family – inherited and genetically based.

My father had heart disease and had his first heart attack in his early 50s, he also had a stroke in his 60s and a quadruple heart bypass surgery in his early/mid 60s.

Both my sisters have early signs of heart disease. They have both been on blood pressure medication since their late 40s, cholesterol lowering meds since their early 50s and the older one is also on angina medication. So I am mindful of my family history and genetic predisposition, so I have always maintained my health and fitness levels.

So, to wind up, I started on my health and fitness journey probably from my late 20s (I quit smoking and took up swimming and eating better). I am now 64 and very fit and fairly healthy – I don’t have any chronic diseases or any signs of heart disease. My blood pressure (last time it was checked was 116/66 which is really, really good!)

I get disappointed in myself when I sabotage my own health journey. But the good thing is that it’s never all the time, I don’t just give up and give in (I guess I’m tenacious like that!). I’m still trying to figure out the sabotage, it’s sometimes when I’m feeling down or feeling stressed or sometimes I have no freaking idea… but I think because of 40 years of improving my eating and my exercise/fitness, I always want to go back to the health journey that I want to be on and set aside the setbacks as literally just that – setbacks.

There is no magic potion, book, article, blog or Instagram post that will be the “thing” that makes you want to improve your health and fitness. You start with one step forward, the odd step sideways, sometimes a step or two backwards, then back to one step forward.

A little progress each day really does add up to big results long term! You may not always be able to see or feel it, but trust that it will and trust yourself and know that the little “saboteur” within us may wreak occasional havoc, but your better self is mostly in the lead!

 

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Waking up sad…
health and fitness

Waking up sad…

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Mornings can be hard…

It is reasonably common for me to wake up feeling a bit sad, down or flat. I’m sure I’m not the only one feeling this way. There is no particular reason or rationale as to why this happens. I just wake up and don’t feel so great.

If I’m up at 5.30am for an early gym session, the sads don’t have much time to take hold. I am up, in my gym gear, grab my water bottle and towel and head out to the gym. Usually by the time the session starts and most certainly when it ends I feel absolutely fine or fantastic depending on how the gym class goes.

The other mornings when I don’t have to leap straight out of bed or when I wake earlier than I need, then it’s like existential dread drops like a veil over my mind and emotions. Sometimes I just go with the sad feeling, get up anyway, lace up my running shoes and head out the door for a 5-6km run. Again, I usually feel better once I’m on my way – says something about the power of exercise on mental health and wellbeing.

Other mornings I just can’t. And that’s ok too. I’ll stay in bed a while longer, feel like crap (again no real reason as to why) and then get up and get on with my day whatever that may bring. I always try to take my dog to the park as it’s good for him and my spirits lift when I see him galloping around with his ears flapping in the air!

Sometimes my spirits may lift as the day progresses, occasionally they do not. So I just sit with the sad feelings knowing that they do pass.

Occasionally I wake up feeling wonderful, happy and full of joy. Again, no idea why that happens, but I am more than grateful when it does.

To counter the waking up sads, I exercise every morning, which really helps me re-set my mind. For the mornings where it is more of a struggle I try other things like positive affirmations & gratitude lists – I have varying success with that.

On one of my favourite podcasts (click the link to go there if you like) I heard about another podcast/app called Wake Me Up: Morning Meditation & Motivations (click the link for the Spotify version or this link for the Apple version). The guy talking you through the sessions is Tyler Brown (he has a lovely soothing voice) and there are a series of meditations, motivational sessions or yoga/stretching options. The free version is great, except you have ads at the beginning which can be a bit jarring. There is a subscribe option, but I’m sticking with the free for now.

I don’t know why, but I find (and I’ve only been using the app this week and I’m not getting paid to say any of this, just offering options for people who may feel bleh in the a.m.) that it actually helps. The sessions are only 10-15 minutes long, so not too long to interfere with getting your day on the move, but long enough to refocus and re-set your mind and emotions for the day.

Give it a go and see what you think 🥰 🤗

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