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Embracing Peace: Why Friendship Drama Becomes Less Appealing as We Age

As we journey through life, our priorities shift, and our perspectives evolve. One significant change many of us experience as we reach a certain age is a growing aversion to the drama often associated with some friendships.

I know that personally I ensure that if someone brings overwhelming stress to my table, they are no longer welcome. I can and I will prioritize myself and my personal well-being over the chaos of someone else’s chaotic life.

The Allure of Simplicity in Friendships

As we grow older, we begin to recognize that stressful friend dynamics can be draining.

We start to appreciate simplicity and authenticity in our relationships. The appeal of deep, meaningful connections becomes far more desirable than the fleeting excitement of drama.

Many individuals find themselves gravitating toward friends who bring positivity and support rather than those who contribute to stress and tension.

Prioritizing Mental Well-being Over Friendship Drama

As we mature, we face various life challenges—career pressures, family responsibilities, and health concerns. These factors heighten our awareness of mental health. We begin to understand the importance of surrounding ourselves with individuals who uplift us instead of those who bring drama into our lives.

Friendship drama can lead to anxiety, resentment, and emotional fatigue. As we age, we learn to prioritize our mental health and seek relationships that foster calm and support.

The desire for a peaceful life becomes paramount, and we become adept at recognizing friendships that enrich our lives rather than drain our energy.

Setting Healthy Boundaries in Friendships

Another vital aspect of this shift is the establishment of healthy boundaries. With age comes wisdom, and we learn that it’s acceptable to say “no” to relationships that no longer serve us.

We become more skilled at identifying toxic dynamics and are less inclined to tolerate behavior that disrupts our peace.

This doesn’t mean we abandon our friends when conflicts arise; rather, we approach friendships with a discerning eye. We understand that it’s okay to distance ourselves from those who thrive on drama or engage in constant negativity.

By setting boundaries, we create space for healthier, more fulfilling connections.

The Joy of Quiet Companionship

As we embrace this new phase of life, we often find joy in quieter, more stable friendships. These relationships are characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and a shared desire for peace. Activities like enjoying a quiet cup of coffee, going for a nature walk, or simply being in comfortable silence become cherished moments.

In this phase, we learn to appreciate the value of companionship without the need for constant excitement. The comfort of being with someone who understands us without the need for dramatic exchanges is a beautiful realization that often comes with maturity.

Finding Peace in Friendship

Reaching a certain age often brings a profound shift in our approach to friendships. The drama that once seemed thrilling can become burdensome, leading us to seek a quieter, more peaceful existence.

By prioritizing mental well-being, setting healthy boundaries, and embracing meaningful connections, we create a life that reflects our values and desires.

In the end, friendship, in its simplest form, is about connection—one that enriches our lives without the unnecessary chaos.

Embracing this phase can lead to deeper, more fulfilling relationships that nurture our souls and allow us to thrive in the serenity we crave.

Let’s celebrate this journey toward a peaceful life, where friendship drama becomes a distant memory, and tranquility reigns supreme. featured image credit:ktpaperdesigns

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We all have our battles: a Journey of Resilience and Connection…

I was chatting before class with one of my trainers at the gym. She was checking in with how I am travelling after my hectic health issues last year😊

I told her that the breast cancer is in remission; the non-Hodgkins Lymphoma is still “watch & wait” with 6 monthly check-ups; the Lymphocytic Colitis is mostly under control and I have my Cochlear implant in my left ear so hearing is awesome!

So this year is pretty good really.

She confided that she is feeling a bit unmotivated with life at the moment, but feels that when she hears about my journey that she has nothing really to worry about.

I told her that we all have our own things to deal with and to not feel that hers are any less valid. They are absolutely real for her and there are times we all feel unmotivated with life.

Life, in all its complexity, is a series of battles. Some days, the sun shines bright, and the path ahead seems clear. On others, the road is shrouded in darkness, and every step feels like an uphill climb.

Whether it’s relationship troubles, health issues, or the general malaise that sometimes settles in our souls, we all face challenges that test our strength and resolve.

But here’s the thing: it’s okay to struggle. It’s okay to feel lost, tired, or overwhelmed.

The important part is that we keep moving forward, even if it’s just one small step at a time.

I’ve come to understand that life isn’t about avoiding difficulties—it’s about how we respond to them. It’s about resilience, that quiet, persistent strength that keeps us going even when the odds seem stacked against us.

And while it’s essential to draw from our inner reserves, we also need to recognize the power of connection, of leaning on others when our strength wanes.

Lifting Each Other Up

No one is an island. We weren’t meant to walk this journey alone. Yet, how often do we hesitate to reach out, to ask for help, or to simply share what’s weighing on our hearts? We worry about being a burden, about showing vulnerability, about not having it all together.

But here’s the truth: we all have our moments of doubt and despair. When we share these moments with others, we often find that we are not alone in our struggles. Our friends, family, and even those who might just be passing through our lives for a brief time—they’ve been there too.

And in that shared understanding, we can find comfort and strength. There’s a profound power in lifting each other up. A kind word, a listening ear, a simple “I’m here for you”—these small gestures can make a world of difference. They remind us that we don’t have to carry our burdens alone.

Being Our Authentic Selves

Authenticity is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves and to others. In a world that often pushes us to present a curated, polished version of our lives, being real can feel risky.

But it’s through authenticity that true connections are made. When we allow ourselves to be seen—flaws, scars, and all—we create space for others to do the same.

We open the door to deeper relationships, where we can support each other not just in our successes, but in our struggles too. Being authentic isn’t about oversharing or laying bare every detail of our lives; it’s about being true to who we are.

It’s about acknowledging our battles and facing them head-on, with the understanding that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

Checking In with Each Other

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it’s easy to lose sight of the people around us. We get caught up in our routines, our to-do lists, our own worries. But it’s so important to take a moment to check in with those we care about.

A simple, “How are you, really?” can open the door to meaningful conversation and connection. It shows that we care, that we’re paying attention, that we’re here to support each other.

Sometimes, that check-in is all it takes to remind someone that they’re not alone in their battle.

Life is a journey filled with highs and lows, with triumphs and trials. We all have our battles, but we don’t have to face them alone.

By lifting each other up, being our authentic selves, and checking in with one another, we can create a community of support and love—a place where we can all find the strength to keep moving forward, one step at a time.

Let’s be there for each other. Let’s face our battles with courage and compassion. And let’s never forget the power of connection in this beautiful, messy journey called life.

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Life Is Too Short: Living this to the fullest

You’ve probably heard the phrase “life is too short” more times than you can count. It’s a staple of motivational quotes, often tossed around during moments of reflection or after someone has an epiphany about their priorities. Yet, how many of us actually live by this simple but profound wisdom?

For me, “life is too short” isn’t just a catchphrase—it’s a guiding principle. I genuinely believe that our time here is finite and precious, and I have no capacity for negativity, meanness, or cruelty.

Yes, I have my down days like everyone else, but I refuse to be at war with my own mind. Instead, I choose to focus on what makes life beautiful and meaningful.

Embracing Positivity

One of the key ways I live by this adage is through meditation. Meditation helps me find peace amidst the chaos of daily life. It grounds me, allowing me to let go of negativity and refocus on what truly matters.

When you meditate, you learn to observe your thoughts without judgment, which makes it easier to release the negative and embrace the positive.

Surrounding Myself with Kindness

I also make a conscious effort to surround myself with kind, positive people. Kindness is contagious; when you surround yourself with it, you can’t help but absorb some of that goodness.

These people lift me up, inspire me, and remind me of the beauty in the world. They are my support system, and I try to be the same for them.

Making Others Feel Good

Another way I embody “life is too short” is by striving to make others feel good about themselves. Whether it’s through a compliment, a helping hand, or just being a good listener, I try to spread positivity.

In my small way, I aim to make the world just a little bit nicer. It’s amazing how much a simple act of kindness can brighten someone’s day.

Ignoring the Negativity

Of course, life isn’t free from negativity. There are always gossips, drama llamas, and whirling dervishes of negativity trying to pull you down. My approach? Pay them no heed. I maintain my dignity and hold my head high.

Engaging with negativity only drags you down to its level. Instead, I choose to rise above it, focusing on the positive and refusing to let the negativity of others dictate my mood or actions.

Living with Integrity

Maintaining your dignity and integrity in the face of negativity is crucial. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.

By holding your head high and staying true to your values, you demonstrate strength and resilience.

You show that you’re not willing to compromise your peace of mind for the sake of others’ drama.

You’ve Got This!

Living by the adage “life is too short” means making a deliberate choice to focus on the good, embrace kindness, and reject negativity.

It’s about understanding that our time here is limited and making the most of it by filling our lives with joy and positivity.

So, the next time you find yourself surrounded by negativity or facing a down day, remember: life is too short to be anything but calm & content.

Meditate, surround yourself with good people, spread kindness, and hold your head high. You’ve got this!

Let’s make the world a little brighter, one positive action at a time.

imagecredit:mackenzie

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When folk are overly interested in your life…

It never ceases to amaze me how much some people love to gossip about others!

Mostly the gossip is either an exaggeration or outright fiction about others’ lives.

I’ve had my fair share of folk who flap their jaws bad-mouthing me. It always causes me to raise an eyebrow and wonder with curiosity as to what is so lacking in their lives that they try to turn mine into a soap opera!😂

Gossip is a reflection of the person doing the gossiping and not the person being gossiped about. They are weak and need other people’s approval to validate their self-worth.

The gossiper is usually a very insecure person. They talk about others so that no one notices their insecurities and their inadequacies.

People talk about others when they are not happy with themselves. If you are busy with a joyful, motivated life you really don’t have the kind of time required to engage in this type of activity.

There is a word for this: “scandalmonger. a person who spreads malicious gossip.” (vocabulary.com)

According to Insight Therapy:

People gossip for a number of reasons (that really have nothing to do with you!)

  1. To feel superior. Many people who are insecure about themselves find temporary relief in judging others. Knowing something that others don’t can feel empowering, and sometimes, that’s all an uncertain gossiper needs. But, it can also make you appear untrustworthy.
  2. They have a sadistic personality. Emotional sadism – someone who comes off as harsh, aggressive, intimidating, or demeaning is rooted in gossip. This type of character enjoys knowing that someone else is experiencing pain or misfortune, delighted that it’s not happening to them.
  3. They’re bored. When people can’t generate exciting discussions based on knowledge or ideas, gossip can arouse people’s interest.
  4. Anxiety. Anxious people are more likely to spread rumors and partake in gossip, according to research. And since uncertainty or feeling out of control is significant in anxiety, gossiping can make someone get that sense of control back.
  5. To feel like part of the group. Alongside that feeling of connection we desire, sometimes people gossip to feel like they belong to the group. Being the center of someone or a group’s attention while gossiping can be compared to buying attention. Yet, this feeling of acceptance isn’t based on a person’s identity or personality but exclusion or maliciousness.

If you find yourself the focus of a gossip, regardless of their underlying motivation, the best thing you can do is maintain your dignity.

When it has happened to me, I never respond, I never clarify or explain and I never gossip back about the gossiper!

I always maintain my silence and my dignity. At the end of the day ALL my family and friends know me well. Those loyal to me would never for a minute countenance any garbage spoken about me or my character.

If anyone else does listen. Good. Enjoy the drama, season 2 is on the way! 😂

My advice to you is to keep your eyes on your own path. That is more important, more true and more relevant than ever listening to what others have to say about you. You know your self-worth and you really can rise above it all!

imagecredit:livewhatyoulove

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life is good, loving life & all that it brings!

Here we are almost half way through the year! Woooo, time surely does fly!

For me, this has been a great year and I am sure it will continue to be fabulous.

Last year was a bit of a dumpster fire healthwise and slowed me down a tad. But not entirely, I still kept up my dancing and gym and running in amongst it all. I think all of those things kept me going both physically and for my emotional wellbeing.

I also surround myself with the best people. My friends and family (most notably my daughter) and my partner are the most supportive and beautiful humans you could ever wish to have in your life.

I finally learned to keep my boundaries strong and to recognise early on any toxic, negative people and to either keep them at a distance or gently remove them from my life.

I don’t do drama. I do not welcome aggressive or negative people in my life. They are welcome to be whoever they wish to be – but at a nice, healthy distance from me!

My partner is an absolute delight. He is gentle and warmhearted, kind, smart, unique, funny and adorable!

We have a lot in common and he is also my dance partner. He loves my dog and cat and that to me, is also the measure of a good man.

cat on a wall climber

My dance friends are wonderful. Their energy and enthusiasm buoy me up whenever I am in their company. You cannot feel sad when you are on the dance floor! My dance teachers are also wonderful people – they are warm and welcoming.

They are supporting a lovely couple who joined relatively recently, picked up the moves quickly and recently won a couple of National titles. This couple are aiming for the world titles and our dance teachers are running a fundraising dance for them with full support from everyone in our community so we can send them across the country to compete! We all love Brooke & Pete – they are the loveliest couple you could ever wish to meet and we will all be wishing them the very best at the World Championship!

My gym buddies and trainers are likewise awesome people. They continually give me courage and strength to keep going and to aim for my strength and fitness goals. It is very much a community of likeminded people and we are welcoming of all newcomers and supportive of everyone, regardless of where they are at in their fitness & strength journey.

I retired early this year and it is the best decision and I wish I had done it earlier. I am loving living my life at my own, gentler pace. I am quite busy, but I have time and can make time to look after my wellbeing and take the occasional nap whenever I feel like it!

Apart from dancing, running & the gym. I am volunteering with my dog (George the Therapy Dog) doing one-off visits. I also volunteer with a cat rescue organisation and drive kittens and abandoned cats to carers and foster homes. I have also been volunteering with a refugee organisation. Basically, I am almost more busy than I was when working. However, it’s a type of busy that I enjoy and I have fun doing.

George the Therapy Dog

I occasionally work at my friend’s gym – on an ad-hoc basis. Usually, when she has other commitments and I can step in – again, only when it fits in with my life and my commitments.

All up, life is really good and I am happy and content. You really can’t ask for much more from life! 

imagecredit:tatyanagladskih 

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When you fall, I will pick you up…

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day, she has depression and some days she finds it really hard to get out of bed and start her day.

I feel her pain.

Some mornings are like that. You awaken feeling flat or down for no apparent reason.

You lie in bed and feel the weight of everything and nothing holding you down like a weighted blanket (but not the good kind).

My friend teaches part-time, usually in the mornings. That has become her lifeline. She gets up and gets going so as to not let down her students.

What is your lifeline? What gets you up in the morning? And what can you do if it all feels too hard?

Many people still don’t understand depression.

Another friend was puzzled by his friend who had severe depression, he said – “he had a lovely wife and home and job, there was no reason for him to be depressed.”

But that’s not how depression works.

You can look as though you have everything going right in your life, but still feel everything is wrong.

Depression is like a shadow that dims the brightest of days and cloaks the most vibrant of lives in a shroud of darkness. It’s a complex and multifaceted mental health condition that can affect anyone, regardless of their external circumstances or perceived successes.

Depression doesn’t discriminate based on wealth, status, or achievements – it can silently infiltrate the minds and hearts of individuals from all walks of life.

At first glance, it may seem paradoxical – how can someone who appears to have it all be consumed by such overwhelming sadness and despair? Yet, the reality is that depression often lurks beneath the surface, hidden behind carefully curated facades and painted smiles.

It’s not always visible to the outside world, and those grappling with depression may go to great lengths to conceal their inner turmoil behind a mask of “I’m ok, thank you for asking.” When in actuality they, like my friend, are battling dark demons every single day!

On the surface, their lives may seem picture-perfect – successful careers, loving relationships, material wealth – yet, internally, they may be battling a constant sense of emptiness, hopelessness, and worthlessness.

Depression can distort one’s perception of reality, making it difficult to find joy in life’s pleasures or see a way out of the darkness.

It’s important to understand that depression is not a reflection of personal weakness or failure. It’s a complex interplay of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors that can disrupt brain chemistry and mood regulation.

Despite outward appearances, those struggling with depression may be fighting an uphill battle against their own minds every single day. And that is absolutely exhausting! Can you imagine battling your own mind and thoughts all the time? The weariness that brings? Some days it works, other days – not so much.

The stigma surrounding mental illness often exacerbates the suffering of those with depression. They may fear judgment, rejection, or misunderstanding from others, leading them to suffer in silence and isolate themselves further.

The misconception that “having it all” should equate to happiness only adds to the burden of guilt and shame that many individuals with depression carry. We all need to be less judgmental as we do not know what is going on in the minds of those around us.

It’s crucial to recognize that depression is a real and debilitating illness that requires compassion, understanding, and support. It’s not enough to judge someone’s well-being based solely on external markers of success or happiness.

Instead, we must strive to create a culture of empathy and acceptance, where individuals feel safe to seek help without fear of stigma or shame.

Ultimately, depression teaches us that appearances can be deceiving and that true understanding lies beneath the surface. It reminds us to look beyond the outward façade and extend kindness and empathy to those who may be silently struggling.

Because no matter how well someone’s life may appear on the surface, they may still be in the grip of depression, yearning for a glimmer of hope to guide them through the darkness.

imagecredit:insprepositive

 

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