What does gratitude look like to you?

Everyone talks about gratitude and how to include gratefulness into your everyday life. Whether that’s thinking of 5 things to be grateful for when you wake up or recalling 5 things from the day when you go to sleep. You can even buy a “gratitude journal” to record and review your thoughts.

I try to remember to incorporate thoughts of gratitude most days. Some days are easier. For example, when it’s a lovely sunny day or something goes well in my daily life or my dog looks at me in that cute, doggie way!

When I was younger the thought of gratitude was not high on my list. I had a lot of resentments about life. Why did my relationships always end (and often end badly), why couldn’t I hang on to someone? Why were my jobs so difficult? I had many great career opportunities in my mid life, but the early years were difficult, heck so were some of my career choices! I’ve also had my fair share of mean or bullying bosses and that can make your work life intolerable.

I often used to say to myself that if either my work life or my relationship life were ok, then I was fine. But if both fell apart, then life became overwhelming! There were times when both did spectacularly fall apart and I’d be left reeling.

At one point I went to see a psychologist to try and figure things out with some counselling. They said I was smart enough to figure things out for myself (really? then why was I in their office seeking help?) I got sent home with a bunch of articles and notes on books I should read. The one takeaway that I found of value was the concept of daily gratitude.

Initially it was a struggle to find things that invoked gratitude, but it did become easier over time. Although it is always easier if life is being reasonable! However, it is definitely worth it when life is complex and difficult.

Several years ago I was diagnosed with severe anxiety and that diagnosis actually helped a lot. It made sense of things and I finally understood that constant feeling of underlying dread and fear that has been a constant thread in my life. I try to maintain a “drama” free lifestyle and I prefer to not have people or situations in my life that create mayhem and havoc. Sometimes it is unavoidable and I have had people who are manipulative and controlling trying to have a negative impact on my life.

However, I am way better at identifying this behaviour from the get-go and that really changes my response. I create a safe space within my mind and my heart that allows me the distance needed to understand what is going on and to recognize that it is not about me, it’s about them! ❤️