60plus&lovinglife – Page 8 – 60plus and loving life

My wellness journey…

By 60plus&lovinglife April 24, 2023 2

Hello and I hope you are having a good start to your week. This is a bit of a longer read than usual, but it’ll be worth it!

I’ve mentioned in prior posts about being diagnosed with breast cancer – here’s a couple of links, so you can catch up if you are new to my blog, I’ll be here when you come back health update #1 and health update #2

Since then I’ve also been diagnosed with non-Hodgkins Lymphoma – slow growing (they actually call it “indolent” – I apparently have a lazy cancer!😂) And yes, I can certainly laugh about it! I’m seeing a Haematologist today for further information. More on that appointment below.

I’ve been doing some serious soul searching around all of this – I am fit and healthy and I also have cancer. Bit of an oxymoron – but here we are!

I feel absolutely fine and in really good spirits. I am also being brutally honest with myself in searching out answers to what may have caused my body to turn on itself.

The breast cancer is estrogen (oestrogen) sensitive. I was on Hormone Replacement Therapy for some years. There is strong evidence based research that HRT can lead to breast cancer. Here’s a research article you can read which explains the risks a little more. There are different types of breast cancer and some are genetic/hereditary. There is no breast cancer in my family, so I believe that mine is linked with the HRT.

After the breast cancer surgery (lumpectomy and lymph nodes removal), the Oncologist has recommended Radiation treatment, then hormone blockers. I’m taking the time to think about that. Everything has happened so quickly, I literally have not had the time to process and think about what all this means to me and my well-being. I am fortunate and relieved that chemotherapy has been taken off the table. I am also completely supportive of anyone that requires chemo.

As for the Lymphoma, good news on that front. The Haematologist confirmed that it is Follicular Lymphoma, low grade, slow growing, indolent and not requiring any treatment at this stage. He has opted for a “wait and watch” approach. I will have follow-up blood tests and another appointment in 3 months.

In the interim he pointed me to current clinical trials looking into the benefits of Vitamin D on Follicular Lymphoma. He recommended I increase my Vitamin D supplementation regimen. Here’s a link to the research ILyAD (Indolent Lymphoma and Vitamin D) and another article here Lymphoma and Vitamin D

The link with insufficient Vitamin D is interesting. I live in Western Australia and we get plenty of sunshine and sunshine is a prime provider of Vitamin D (other than food sources like egg yolks and oily fish i.e. salmon, sardines etc.) Check this link for more information Sunshine and Vit D

I regularly get out in the sun, but I generally wear sunscreen which blocks the beneficial UVB that you get from the sun that has Vitamin D. I have been taking a supplement for some time now, however my Haematologist basically told me to double the amount.

It will be interesting to see what my blood work shows in 3 months.

The Haematologist said the cause of the Lymphoma is difficult to pinpoint or determine. He said it could be linked to environmental factors such as heavy metals. He pointed out that western countries have high numbers of people with Lymphoma. Whereas other less developed nations do not have such high rates. Lifestyle also plays a factor in most, if not all, cancers. Being seriously overweight/obese can increase your chances as can poor eating habits and a sedentary lifestyle.

I am not overweight, I exercise regularly and I eat fairly healthily. So those factors are not what contributed to my diagnosis.

I believe that stress plays a massive role in cancer development. Again, there is evidence based research that investigates the links between high/chronic stress and cancer development and progression. Read more here How stress affects cancer risks and here Chronic stress and cancer.

Chronic and unrelenting stress has been a cofactor in my life over many years. I have held down high level, but extremely stressful job roles. I have had to deal with toxic bosses/managers and I have been made redundant from a couple of jobs and that in itself has caused me immense stress.

Unfortunately, I have also had a couple of seriously stressful relationships, with partners that either have anger issues and or controlling/manipulative behaviors.

I truly believe that the chronic stress I have been under for many years has definitely contributed to my cancer diagnosis.

Things that I have done to mitigate these stressors, even before my diagnosis:

Early last year I quit my last high stress/full-time job. I picked up a part-time job that is low stress, a lot more fun (great team members) and generates enough income for me to get by.

I have eliminated toxic people from my life. All of them. I do not allow any negative or toxic or drama-ridden people access to my life.

I have found a life partner who is kind, gentle, sweet, thoughtful, compassionate and loving.

I have family and friends that are supportive of me and I of them.

The other things that I have decided to do in my journey back to optimal health:

I have started having Vitamin C infusions (intravenously). I came to this decision after reading about some very promising clinical studies on the beneficial effects of Vit C and certain types of cancer – see links here for more information Cancer and Vitamin C and here Vitamin C can kill cancer cells

I will do a separate blog post about that experience.

I am able to return to my exercise regimen after my surgery and Covid that slowed me down a bit.

I’ve been able to dance and go for runs for the last couple of weeks.

This afternoon I am doing my first Body Pump class (it’s been 4 weeks since my surgery). I am beyond excited about doing a proper weights training class. I know I’ll have to go lighter – my head says go the full weights, my body says – not yet!

I’ll build back up to it, but thrilled to be back into it all.

I am doing another dietary overhaul and reviewing all my macro and micro nutrients to see what may be missing for optimal health.

I am seeing a Naturopath this week to talk about re-balancing my hormones and improving my immune system. I’ll give you all an update on that after the appointment.

In the meantime, stay well, be kind to yourself and surround yourself with good people!

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health and fitness

Health, fitness, dogs, dancing and coffee!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 21, 2023 0

I take my health and fitness very seriously. I am committed to healthy (and balanced) eating and exercising most days of the week. I love to run outdoors and I also love heading to my favourite gym and jumping into a weights, yoga or cardio class. I love my fitness instructors and my workout buddies.

I also love to dance and I have a whole community of dance friends, including my lovely teachers. The older one gets, the more important it is to keep moving, do some resistance training, stretching and balance work.

Sometimes you can get stopped dead in your tracks. I’ve had to take some time out from my fitness regimen as I’ve had a couple of health issues to deal with, including numerous tests, biopsies and a surgery.

When I say time out, I mean from my full on routine. I haven’t entirely stopped. Well, not until Covid bit me again – that stopped me for a whole couple days!

I had to slow down on the weights training after the surgery to give myself time to heal. No problem, I went for super long, brisk walks and a hike in the countryside. Then returned to dancing once the surgeon gave me the all-clear. Which was literally a week after surgery as I was healing so well.

That is why I stay healthy and fit. It helps my day to day life, eases life stresses, keeps me emotionally balanced and prepared me for facing a couple of health scares that I really did not anticipate.

I was back running and hit a cardio class last week. This week I was cleared to head back to weights training.

Then I got bloody Covid again! Seriously?!? I had it last July and not too bad, this time was about the same. I felt absolute garbage for a couple of days with a temperature/fever. Then that cleared and I started to feel better day by day and today I am feeling fine and dandy.

I know that restrictions and isolation rules have ended. However, I am mindful that other folk are more susceptible to getting really sick, so I have spent all of this week at home.

Yesterday and today I was able to get outside and go for a couple of long (6km) walks with George (my dog) and a quick car trip to the drive through coffee place. I took Georgie-boy with me, so he could get his dog bikkie from the server. The pic above is George waiting on his dog treat – that face!🥰

I also have a favorite YouTube exercise woman who does a weights workout that I enjoy. I have weights and exercise equipment at home, in fact, one of my spare rooms is set up like a mini gym. Useful when I can’t run in the dark or on heavy rainfall mornings.

So, for the first time in a while I did some weights training and oof! I am feeling it today, but you know what? I’ma going to do it all over again today. It’s such a wonderful feeling to notice my muscles are in action again!

I am giddily excited at the idea of going back to my full on training next week. Really cannot wait!

I tested negative to Covid this morning, and fortunately so, as I have an action packed weekend coming up. Two dances – tonight & tomorrow night💃🕺

Plus my gorgeous partner has booked us in for a private lesson to learn the Viennese Waltz tomorrow during the day. That’ll be a challenge for me. I can do the basic box step regular waltz. I’ve watched couples dance the Viennese Waltz and it looks so elegant and flowy! I surely hope I can channel my inner elegance and learn this lovely dance routine! I’ll let y’all know how I go…❤️

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Relationships

It’s been a hot minute!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 18, 2023 0

Hey everyone – hope all is well in your corner of the world…

I’ve been a bit distracted lately with the ole breast cancer (getting better and thanks for asking!) I’ve got radiation coming up in a couple of weeks. But I’m happy to say that the Oncologist has advised me that they got the tumor completely out with healthy margins and one sketchy lymph node (and they took 5 jic!) and she actually used the word “cured” and that was good to hear! Unlikely to come back, but I will need hormone blockers for 5 – 10 years as it was estrogen (oestrogen) sensitive.

Then on top of that I came down with Covid (second time, first time was last July).

I was starting to think the universe was just plain messing with me!

I’ve had the last couple of days off work – I’m symptomatic and don’t want to spread Covid to workmates or other folk I come in contact with…

And as you do, I’ve been at a bit of a loss. Felt a bit too ill and brain foggy to write a blog post. Couldn’t even read my book yesterday (and anyone that knows me, knows I am a total book-worm, so if I can’t focus to read – I must be unwell!). So I’ve been doing Insta, TikTok and FB scrolling for entertainment, until my head hurt too much and I had to stop and have another nap or three!

The above image came across my feed and literally made me laugh and almost spit out my morning coffee! Talk about accurate!!

I mentioned in an earlier post about a previous r/ship I was in whereby the man involved was a narcissistic, gaslighting, manipulative, lying and cheating scumbag (well probably more than one post, but hey!). The one I am referring to is this one here – feel free to have a quick read, then come back. I’ll be waiting for you.

So, suffice to say that the above image really resonated with me. It’s a tactic of toxic people to make you think you are the problem. They sound convincing, but you know in your heart and soul that it is just not true what they are saying.

Trust yourself, believe in your gut instincts. Do not be manipulated. Run.

This man and his entire family were toxic. The way that they spoke to each other was absolutely appalling. He would show me messages from members of his family where they were either abusing him in the most disgusting and degrading manner or abusing each other. It was the most ugly behaviour I have ever had the misfortune to come across in my entire life. Seriously, nothing comes close. Nothing!

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health and fitness

Life & its curve balls!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 13, 2023 0

First up I’d like to say hello to one of my lovely followers, Linda in the UK. Thank you for your kind message Linda. Sorry to hear about your health, wishing you a good recovery and I hope you have a lovely birthday on Friday, I’ll be thinking of you❤️ You are damn right too, we are not going anywhere!!

This is surely an interesting journey that I am on. It’s a bit of a steep learning curve and I’m becoming familiar with new medical jargon and expanding my knowledge of terminology that I am familiar with, but had not really taken the time to fully understand.

I had another biopsy today on my errant lymph node. It was a bit painful, they had to top up the local anaesthetic after the first pass through. That helped. Results from the biopsy will be through by next Tuesday.

I asked if I could go for my morning run tomorrow, but no – can’t risk a haematoma. I was just being unrealistically optimistic😂 I have been going for runs, dancing and aerobic gym workouts, because my surgeon cleared me to get back into it all. It was absolutely amazing to turn up to my spin class at 6 in the morning, I was so happy to see everyone and they were happy I was back.

My fitness instructor had organized a card for me that everyone had written beautiful messages within. She is an angel! I also went to my favorite Tone class (Les Mills fitness) and my beautiful Tone instructor gave me the best hug! I love my gym family and my dance class family and all my other friends – I am surrounded by a warm tidal wave of love and care and I am truly blessed.

My daughter has been by my side at every single appointment, waiting patiently for various tests and procedures and surgery. Just having her presence helps calm me in those moments when it gets a bit overwhelming. Plus I’d be lost without her – like literally lost. Those hospital corridors are so confusing! If she wasn’t with me, I swear I’d still be wandering around looking for radiology!😂

I am also fortunate to have an incredibly caring and compassionate partner, he is an absolute gem. It is such a delight to be with someone who is genuine, considerate and warm-hearted. I am so, so blessed to have him in my life ❤️

My oncologist appointment is tomorrow afternoon, she wanted to see me before the latest test results come through. I’m guessing she’s going to put my treatment plan in place, probably from as early as this coming week. One good thing with our health system is that they sure are speedy! Will be good to get it all underway.

One thing I do want to talk about is how this journey is different for all of us. My journey is not the same as the next woman’s journey. My emotions and how I react to the things going on around me are unique to me. I did have a friend tell me that I am obviously “angry,” “isolating myself” and probably thinking “why did this happen to me?”

Well. First up. No, I’m not angry – this is a random thing that has happened and I am dealing with it rationally. It’s like planning for a long-distance race, I have a plan, I know I have to pace myself, I know I will cross the finish line and I know that something might trip me up on the way, but I’m good at picking myself up again and carrying on regardless.

Second – I am not isolating myself. I am surrounded by family and friends. I am out at the gym, dances, dance class, catching up with close friends for coffee, going out with my partner, hanging out with my daughter, going to work and generally having a bloody good time!

Finally, self-pity is not in my lexicon. This could have happened to anyone. It has happened to me, that is a fact. I am dealing with this in the best way I know and I will overcome and I will persevere! Don’t you doubt it!!

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health and fitness

…not dead yet and still stylish!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 6, 2023 4

Well, as stylish as one can be in a blue hospital gown! I took this selfie right after surgery when I was still a bit lala from the general anaesthetic!

My life has taken a bit of a plot twist and I’m currently busy on a side quest that I wasn’t expecting, but I’m more than ready to deal with, overcome and head back to my main life!

I’m always in training for something. An upcoming run or charity fundraising event. I used to be in Master’s Athletics and competed with others in my age range and I’m proud to say that I did win the occasional race and nice medal.🏃‍♀️

I’m also always in training for life. Running, weight training at the gym for strength, dancing, a bit of swimming and some yoga/pilates for flexibility.

This is my lifelong training for everything. Physical well-being, emotional well-being and joy & happiness in what my body is capable of doing and ageing as well as I possibly can.

Life however, can throw a curve ball at you that you just weren’t expecting.

Fortunately, I have great hand/eye coordination and can catch anything coming my way and throw it right back!

I found a lump in my breast. At the initial scan they said it was probably a swollen lymph node and nothing to worry about. I was advised to have a follow up scan after a few months.

At the second one the radiologist was more concerned and said I should have a biopsy. My GP (regular doctor) sent me off for the biopsy which I had on a Tuesday.

Two days later on the Thursday, I saw my doc’s number come up on my phone and I was like “aaaah shit, that’s going to be bad news.”

He said I had breast cancer in the right breast. He’d made an appointment for me to see him the next morning, at that appointment he told me he’d made an appointment with a breast/oncological surgeon for the following week. He then said that as an “old school” GP he was ordering a CT scan for me (click the link if you want more info on what a CT scan is about) and that most modern medico’s don’t bother with a CT scan for a breast cancer diagnosis. Good he did, more on that below.

Everything then moved at lightening speed. I had blood tests and the CT scan the same day.

I saw the surgeon on the Monday morning, she said I needed surgery to remove the lump/tumor followed by radiation treatment. But that it was one tumor and prognosis was good. She did mention she already had the results of the CT scan and there was “something of concern.” So she ordered a PET scan for the upcoming Friday (more on PET scans at the link if you want/need more info.) I had the PET scan on the Friday of that week, earliest they could book me in. That one is a little more intense than the CT scan and is looking for “hot spots” tissue/cells that “light up” as they are likely cancerous.

The surgeon also said she had availability at the end of her surgery list the very next day after the Monday appointment. She then asked if I had any questions. I asked when I could go for a run and head back to the gym after surgery. She laughed and said most people need encouragement to lift their arm and do some stretches!

So Tuesday morning my daughter drove me to the hospital for admission. I had to have another procedure first whereby they inject a radioactive substance into the tumor (OMG that one really hurt, no local anaesthesia!) To see if it goes to the lymph nodes. If so, then the cancer has decided to have a wander further into the body.

Mine had wandered into one lymph node. So in addition to the lumpectomy the surgeon removed 5 lymph nodes, the sketchy one and a few more “just in case” I still have some – which you need, they tend not to take all of them out these days. The lumpectomy is “breast conserving surgery” aimed at keeping as much of the breast intact as possible, rather than a mastectomy.

Fast forward to one week and one day after surgery (Wednesday of the following week). I had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon. And I also got the results of the PET scan.

So, first up – the surgery was successful, the scar was healing really well. I’d been going for really long walks every day (surgeon said I could), including a hike on the weekend.

Then came the news of the PET scan results. There is a “hot spot” on my abdomen, a tumor there adjacent to my aortocaval close to the coeliac artery & adjacent to the left ureta… and a “lit up” lymph node in my left groin. Oof, that was unexpected.

The new tumor is not related to the breast cancer at all. It’s completely separate and they have no idea of the severity (other than it’s already decided to travel to a lymph node – rude!!)

I will be having a biopsy of the lymph node this week to confirm what it is and what stage it’s at. Then it’s chemo for me.

I will also be sending my lovely GP, Dr Gary, a giant bunch of flowers for ordering the CT scan. If he hadn’t, this new issue would have remained silently making it’s way through my body and creating deadly havoc on the way.

Everyone, my GP, my surgeon, the breast care nurses, my friends are all like “you are so fit and healthy” this is such a shock.

Yeah, it’s a shock to me too. But like I said ^^ I have been in training for living life. I am fit, I am healthy, I do have cancer. I am in the best possible physical and emotional fitness to deal with this and whatever is coming at me in the next few months!

I have the best support and I am so, so fortunate that I have my wonderful daughter who is my rock and has come to every appointment with me and spent hours hanging around the hospital with me. My lovely sister who has offered to fly across the country to be with me. The most amazing friends who dropped off meals for me after surgery and that I can call on at any time. And a beautiful, compassionate, kind and caring man in my life who has totally blown me away with his capacity for empathy and kindness. I am so very blessed!

And to finish on a high note. We are going dancing this Saturday night (doc has cleared me), but only for gentle partner dancing, a bit of jive (no rock n roll) and the odd line dance. I have a cute pink dress ready to wear and bunny ears (it’s is Easter this weekend after all!) Happy Easter y’all, however you may or may not celebrate!🐇🐣

Here’s another pic of a different hospital gown… blue and burgundy seem to be the colour range! I think both suit me 🥰

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all about the dog

Therapy Dogs: A Paws-itive Impact on Mental Health!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 2, 2023 2

Who doesn’t love dogs? They’re cute, cuddly and oh-so-loving. But did you know they can also serve as your personal therapist? Enter the world of Therapy Dogs!

Therapy dogs are trained pups offering emotional support to people in need, whether they be in hospitals, schools, or even airports. These dogs are not the same as service dogs as they don’t perform any specific tasks for a person with a disability. Instead, therapeutic dogs play soothing roles, helping individuals to relax and cope with anxiety, stress, and depression.

It’s not surprising that such furry companions can improve mental health. Research shows that stroking and petting dogs can reduce stress and anxiety hormones like cortisol, while simultaneously increasing happy hormones and feel-good neurotransmitters in the brain (Harvard Medical School. A little wagging of tails, nuzzling, and snuggling go a long way in influencing human well-being.

Dog therapy has become increasingly popular in recent years, with many organizations offering programs for seniors, hospital patients, and school children. Even airports have implemented therapy dog teams to help ease the stress of travel.

One specific group that benefits a lot from therapy dogs is children. Kids have been shown to have better self-esteem and social skills and lower anxiety in the presence of dogs (Fine et al.). The benefits of therapy dogs are numerous, including reducing stress and anxiety, improving mood and socialization, and increasing physical activity.

One major appeal of therapy dogs is their non-judgmental and unconditional love. They don’t care about our appearance or background, and they don’t hold grudges. A therapy dog simply wants to be by our side, offering their furry warmth and calming presence. Studies have shown that interacting with dogs can even lower blood pressure and decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease.

My dog George has been a therapy dog since he was two years old. He’s a Spoodle (Cockapoo, Doodle) and has a beautiful, calm temperament, ideal for working with the elderly and with children. Everybody loves George and he’s super friendly and chill.

Therapy dogs must pass rigorous health and behavior assessments to ensure they’re well-suited for the role. Animal-assisted therapy (AAT), as it’s called, also requires specific training and certification for both the handlers and canine companions (Smith & Matuszek). So, it’s not just about the cuteness factor.

Of course, not every pooch is cut out to be a therapy dog. Some breeds are more naturally suited to the job. Labradors and Golden Retrievers are popular therapy breeds due to their affectionate nature and easy-to-train personalities.

While the process of training and certifying therapy dogs sounds intense, the results make all the effort worthwhile. So, the next time you’re feeling down, instead of picking up your phone and scrolling through Instagram, why not cuddle with your furry friend or visit a therapy pet outside. After all, they say that dogs are a person’s best therapist!

REFERENCES:

Fine, A. H., Tedeschi, P., Elfenbein, H., & Rosenthal, S. (2015). The handbook on animal-assisted therapy: Theoretical foundations and guidelines for practice. Elsevier.

Harvard Health Publishing. (2018). The health benefits of dogs (and cats). Retrieved from: https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-health-benefits-of-dogs-and-cats

Smith, M. C., & Matuszek, S. (2010). Animal-assisted therapy: An emerging opportunity in oncology. Journal of Oncology Practice, 6(6), e21-e23.

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Relationships

Be the lighthouse!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 29, 2023 0

I was out for an 8km walk today, the day after my surgery (more on that in my next post and yes my surgeon said I can walk for miles!).

Whilst out walking (and when I go for my runs) is when I do my best thinking. My mind is clear and open to thoughts and ideas and I was composing this post as I was walking by the foreshore.

I’ve often said to people that I cannot understand why people that have suffered hurt or trauma in their lives inflict it on other people in their lives. It really has baffled me.

I have had hurt and trauma inflicted upon me, including childhood abuse and a couple of seriously toxic relationships as an adult.

However, I make it my life’s effort never to knowingly hurt another human being and if I do so unintentionally I will always own it and give a heartfelt apology and make amends. I choose to be this way as I know what it is to feel emotional pain and I do not want anyone else to feel that pain at my expense.

Unfortunately, I have had a couple of emotionally unhealthy relationships. One was with the MOST narcissistic, toxic man I have ever had the misfortune to come across.

I am no victim. I do not enter relationships with the aim of changing or fixing the other person. However, I have built an enormous tolerance for emotional pain and that has not held me in good stead for looking after my emotional well-being when I have connected with an emotionally abusive man.

I recently came across a life-coach who said the following which really resonated with me:

“There is a saying that is very true, but multiple things can be true at once…hurt people do hurt people. That’s a fact. I’ve felt that, I’m sure you have. But you want to know what else is a fact? That genuine people hold space for others. Safe people that worked really hard to become so safe with themselves and others. They shelter those who do not feel safe. Lighthouses, people who are lighthouses, I’m sure you’ve found one before in your life, I know I have. I am absolutely a lighthouse and I love being one. Lighthouses shine light for others. I hope that this helps shift your perspective, because although hurt people do hurt people, you can become shelter for those who need it.”

@heather.powell.coaching

So there you have it. The puzzle for me is no longer a puzzle. Be a lighthouse. I know I am. I have also found my lighthouse. A man who genuinely cares about the safe space he has in my life and I in his. A man who wishes to cause no harm to me and is the shelter for me as I am for him.

Image credit: @Ravenwolf

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no, I don’t have to smile!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 26, 2023 0

But seriously, don’t you hate it when people tell you to smile? Don’t get me wrong, a nice smile is always uplifting and lovely to see. Preferably a genuine smile, not a big, fake, shark-toothed grimacey smile!

I used to be in a relationship one-upon-a-time with a man who always had a go at me when I didn’t constantly smile. I had to smile so much when we were out that my face ached. 😂

We’d be out dancing and I would be having a lovely time, enjoying the music, the dancing, being with friends. Then, all the sudden he’d glare at me and in a furious whisper say “try to look like you’re enjoying yourself and smile.”

Well ok then, I was enjoying myself, thinking all was fine and dandy. But no, apparently my face was out of line! So I would plaster a ridiculous circus grin (think painted on clown smile) for the rest of the evening so as to avoid the man getting into a shitty mood and turning frosty on me for the next few hours or days. It was just more of his controlling behavior. I saw it for what it was, however it still had an impact on me and would make me feel a bit low for a while.

Mind you, ofttimes he would either do the fakey/fakey smile at people, but mostly he had a face like a slapped arse. Anger does that to your face – it leaves that calling card of “you are not a nice person” etched onto your features.

Anyways. That’s all in the past – there is the occasional man at dance class who tells myself and other women to “smile more.” I just nod politely and say “no problem, when you show me your pretty smile, I’ll show you mine.” That usually leaves them jaw hanging in surprise.

How many times do guys tell other guys to smile? They don’t.

It’s just plain rude. Stop telling us to smile – we will if we want, we will if we feel like it.

My daughter said that in the feature pic above, I have a certain elegance in not smiling. She’s not wrong 🥰

I’m also loving my new lbd!

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all about the dog

Even therapy dogs need a bath!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 25, 2023 0

George goes to the groomers for a bath and haircut every few weeks. In between times I take him to the local pet supply store who offer a free hydrobath for local dogs!

Having a bath is not entirely his favorite activity. He does always get a treat afterwards (don’t tell him it’s a dental hygiene treat 😉) But he’s pretty chill and relaxed about it.

His groomer, my friend Ang, tells me that when he’s having a bath there he is so relaxed he almost falls asleep!

My daughter came along with me this time, so she was able to snap some pics of bathtime for good boy!

He looks pretty chill here… don’t mind the li’l bandages on my arms, I’d just been to have my bloods taken that morning 😊

I give him a good scrub down with the shampoo, comb it through his fur and rinse… then he rewards me by shaking water and shampoo all over me 😂

Then it’s the baby wipes to clean his eyes and ears and a vigorous rub down with the towel.

Then we are done! Much to his relief!

I usually take him for a walk to the park to air-dry him further, less likely to have my place smell of wet dog! 😂 Not that I mind…

He’s a happy doggo and everyone loves him. He brings so much joy to people’s lives.

Love to you all and I hope you have a fabulous day 🥰

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Relationships

the cheaters and the liars…

By 60plus&lovinglife March 23, 2023 0

As a woman who has been around the block a time or two, I thought I had seen it all. But the one thing that always surprises me is how many men cheat on their partners.

It’s no secret that infidelity is a major issue in many relationships. But why do so many men cheat, even when they seem to have it all?

First, let’s look at the reasons why men cheat. Often, it’s not just about sex. Many men cheat because they feel emotionally disconnected from their partners or they feel they are losing control over the relationship and seek control elsewhere. For others it’s their sense of entitlement – they can and will do whatever they please, regardless of the consequences or the pain they will cause.

Whatever the reason, cheating is never acceptable. It’s painful, damaging, and can lead to the breakdown of a relationship. If you suspect your partner is cheating, it’s important to address the issue head-on.

I also speak from experience; I have had at least two cheating partners (that I know of 😂). One of them literally gave me the heads up at the get go. Now if that’s not a 🚩 I don’t know what is!

Early on, he was happy to tell me about all his dating, relationship, and sexual conquests and proud of himself too – thought he was quite the lad! And, woo, were there some doozies in all of those stories.

One that stood out was that towards the end of a long-term relationship he cheated on his then partner. He was drinking alone in a bar and a woman he didn’t know asked him to buy her a drink. He did and then she asked if he lived alone (note, she didn’t ask if he was single, just if he lived alone). Which he did and confirmed that he lived alone. He didn’t bother to mention the long-term relationship he was in. He took bar woman home to his place for a romp in the hay.

Then he broke up with his long-term girlfriend. But get this, he never admitted he cheated and that’s why he was ending things. He lied and told his girlfriend it was her fault that they were done.

That literally sent chills down my spine. That poor woman, to this day, still thinks he blames her for the breakup or that it was something that she did wrong. She has no idea that he was a cheating scumbag who lied to her.

You might well ask that knowing that, why did I get involved with him? All I can say is that there is no accounting for stupid🤷

Unsurprisingly, in the end he cheated on me as well.

Now, let’s talk about how to prevent cheating in the first place. Here are a few tips to bear in mind:

Keep communication open: Make sure you’re talking to your partner regularly, and that they feel safe and comfortable talking to you too. Be honest and transparent, and don’t be afraid to express your feelings.
Strengthen your emotional connection: Make time for each other and do things that bring you closer together. Show your partner that they are valued and appreciated.
Be aware of warning signs: If your partner is suddenly distant or secretive, or sexual intimacy is gone or infrequent, it’s important to address the issue. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and look for clues that something may be wrong.
Seek help if necessary: If your relationship is struggling, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your issues and communicate better with each other.

Remember, cheating is never the answer. If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s important to stay true to your partner and work together to build a stronger, healthier relationship. By keeping communication open, valuing each other, and seeking help, if necessary, you can prevent cheating and build a strong, lasting connection.

And if all of that does not work, then pick up your courage and dignity and walk away. Your self-respect and emotional well-being are important. Don’t settle for the liars and the cheaters. Walk away, start anew, have faith and surround yourself with family and friends who genuinely love and care about you. You got this!

image credit: Dion Kalen facebook.com/artbykalen

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