60plus&lovinglife – Page 8 – 60plus and loving life

…not dead yet and still stylish!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 6, 2023 4

Well, as stylish as one can be in a blue hospital gown! I took this selfie right after surgery when I was still a bit lala from the general anaesthetic!

My life has taken a bit of a plot twist and I’m currently busy on a side quest that I wasn’t expecting, but I’m more than ready to deal with, overcome and head back to my main life!

I’m always in training for something. An upcoming run or charity fundraising event. I used to be in Master’s Athletics and competed with others in my age range and I’m proud to say that I did win the occasional race and nice medal.🏃‍♀️

I’m also always in training for life. Running, weight training at the gym for strength, dancing, a bit of swimming and some yoga/pilates for flexibility.

This is my lifelong training for everything. Physical well-being, emotional well-being and joy & happiness in what my body is capable of doing and ageing as well as I possibly can.

Life however, can throw a curve ball at you that you just weren’t expecting.

Fortunately, I have great hand/eye coordination and can catch anything coming my way and throw it right back!

I found a lump in my breast. At the initial scan they said it was probably a swollen lymph node and nothing to worry about. I was advised to have a follow up scan after a few months.

At the second one the radiologist was more concerned and said I should have a biopsy. My GP (regular doctor) sent me off for the biopsy which I had on a Tuesday.

Two days later on the Thursday, I saw my doc’s number come up on my phone and I was like “aaaah shit, that’s going to be bad news.”

He said I had breast cancer in the right breast. He’d made an appointment for me to see him the next morning, at that appointment he told me he’d made an appointment with a breast/oncological surgeon for the following week. He then said that as an “old school” GP he was ordering a CT scan for me (click the link if you want more info on what a CT scan is about) and that most modern medico’s don’t bother with a CT scan for a breast cancer diagnosis. Good he did, more on that below.

Everything then moved at lightening speed. I had blood tests and the CT scan the same day.

I saw the surgeon on the Monday morning, she said I needed surgery to remove the lump/tumor followed by radiation treatment. But that it was one tumor and prognosis was good. She did mention she already had the results of the CT scan and there was “something of concern.” So she ordered a PET scan for the upcoming Friday (more on PET scans at the link if you want/need more info.) I had the PET scan on the Friday of that week, earliest they could book me in. That one is a little more intense than the CT scan and is looking for “hot spots” tissue/cells that “light up” as they are likely cancerous.

The surgeon also said she had availability at the end of her surgery list the very next day after the Monday appointment. She then asked if I had any questions. I asked when I could go for a run and head back to the gym after surgery. She laughed and said most people need encouragement to lift their arm and do some stretches!

So Tuesday morning my daughter drove me to the hospital for admission. I had to have another procedure first whereby they inject a radioactive substance into the tumor (OMG that one really hurt, no local anaesthesia!) To see if it goes to the lymph nodes. If so, then the cancer has decided to have a wander further into the body.

Mine had wandered into one lymph node. So in addition to the lumpectomy the surgeon removed 5 lymph nodes, the sketchy one and a few more “just in case” I still have some – which you need, they tend not to take all of them out these days. The lumpectomy is “breast conserving surgery” aimed at keeping as much of the breast intact as possible, rather than a mastectomy.

Fast forward to one week and one day after surgery (Wednesday of the following week). I had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon. And I also got the results of the PET scan.

So, first up – the surgery was successful, the scar was healing really well. I’d been going for really long walks every day (surgeon said I could), including a hike on the weekend.

Then came the news of the PET scan results. There is a “hot spot” on my abdomen, a tumor there adjacent to my aortocaval close to the coeliac artery & adjacent to the left ureta… and a “lit up” lymph node in my left groin. Oof, that was unexpected.

The new tumor is not related to the breast cancer at all. It’s completely separate and they have no idea of the severity (other than it’s already decided to travel to a lymph node – rude!!)

I will be having a biopsy of the lymph node this week to confirm what it is and what stage it’s at. Then it’s chemo for me.

I will also be sending my lovely GP, Dr Gary, a giant bunch of flowers for ordering the CT scan. If he hadn’t, this new issue would have remained silently making it’s way through my body and creating deadly havoc on the way.

Everyone, my GP, my surgeon, the breast care nurses, my friends are all like “you are so fit and healthy” this is such a shock.

Yeah, it’s a shock to me too. But like I said ^^ I have been in training for living life. I am fit, I am healthy, I do have cancer. I am in the best possible physical and emotional fitness to deal with this and whatever is coming at me in the next few months!

I have the best support and I am so, so fortunate that I have my wonderful daughter who is my rock and has come to every appointment with me and spent hours hanging around the hospital with me. My lovely sister who has offered to fly across the country to be with me. The most amazing friends who dropped off meals for me after surgery and that I can call on at any time. And a beautiful, compassionate, kind and caring man in my life who has totally blown me away with his capacity for empathy and kindness. I am so very blessed!

And to finish on a high note. We are going dancing this Saturday night (doc has cleared me), but only for gentle partner dancing, a bit of jive (no rock n roll) and the odd line dance. I have a cute pink dress ready to wear and bunny ears (it’s is Easter this weekend after all!) Happy Easter y’all, however you may or may not celebrate!🐇🐣

Here’s another pic of a different hospital gown… blue and burgundy seem to be the colour range! I think both suit me 🥰

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all about the dog

Therapy Dogs: A Paws-itive Impact on Mental Health!

By 60plus&lovinglife April 2, 2023 2

Who doesn’t love dogs? They’re cute, cuddly and oh-so-loving. But did you know they can also serve as your personal therapist? Enter the world of Therapy Dogs!

Therapy dogs are trained pups offering emotional support to people in need, whether they be in hospitals, schools, or even airports. These dogs are not the same as service dogs as they don’t perform any specific tasks for a person with a disability. Instead, therapeutic dogs play soothing roles, helping individuals to relax and cope with anxiety, stress, and depression.

It’s not surprising that such furry companions can improve mental health. Research shows that stroking and petting dogs can reduce stress and anxiety hormones like cortisol, while simultaneously increasing happy hormones and feel-good neurotransmitters in the brain (Harvard Medical School. A little wagging of tails, nuzzling, and snuggling go a long way in influencing human well-being.

Dog therapy has become increasingly popular in recent years, with many organizations offering programs for seniors, hospital patients, and school children. Even airports have implemented therapy dog teams to help ease the stress of travel.

One specific group that benefits a lot from therapy dogs is children. Kids have been shown to have better self-esteem and social skills and lower anxiety in the presence of dogs (Fine et al.). The benefits of therapy dogs are numerous, including reducing stress and anxiety, improving mood and socialization, and increasing physical activity.

One major appeal of therapy dogs is their non-judgmental and unconditional love. They don’t care about our appearance or background, and they don’t hold grudges. A therapy dog simply wants to be by our side, offering their furry warmth and calming presence. Studies have shown that interacting with dogs can even lower blood pressure and decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease.

My dog George has been a therapy dog since he was two years old. He’s a Spoodle (Cockapoo, Doodle) and has a beautiful, calm temperament, ideal for working with the elderly and with children. Everybody loves George and he’s super friendly and chill.

Therapy dogs must pass rigorous health and behavior assessments to ensure they’re well-suited for the role. Animal-assisted therapy (AAT), as it’s called, also requires specific training and certification for both the handlers and canine companions (Smith & Matuszek). So, it’s not just about the cuteness factor.

Of course, not every pooch is cut out to be a therapy dog. Some breeds are more naturally suited to the job. Labradors and Golden Retrievers are popular therapy breeds due to their affectionate nature and easy-to-train personalities.

While the process of training and certifying therapy dogs sounds intense, the results make all the effort worthwhile. So, the next time you’re feeling down, instead of picking up your phone and scrolling through Instagram, why not cuddle with your furry friend or visit a therapy pet outside. After all, they say that dogs are a person’s best therapist!

REFERENCES:

Fine, A. H., Tedeschi, P., Elfenbein, H., & Rosenthal, S. (2015). The handbook on animal-assisted therapy: Theoretical foundations and guidelines for practice. Elsevier.

Harvard Health Publishing. (2018). The health benefits of dogs (and cats). Retrieved from: https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/the-health-benefits-of-dogs-and-cats

Smith, M. C., & Matuszek, S. (2010). Animal-assisted therapy: An emerging opportunity in oncology. Journal of Oncology Practice, 6(6), e21-e23.

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Relationships

Be the lighthouse!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 29, 2023 0

I was out for an 8km walk today, the day after my surgery (more on that in my next post and yes my surgeon said I can walk for miles!).

Whilst out walking (and when I go for my runs) is when I do my best thinking. My mind is clear and open to thoughts and ideas and I was composing this post as I was walking by the foreshore.

I’ve often said to people that I cannot understand why people that have suffered hurt or trauma in their lives inflict it on other people in their lives. It really has baffled me.

I have had hurt and trauma inflicted upon me, including childhood abuse and a couple of seriously toxic relationships as an adult.

However, I make it my life’s effort never to knowingly hurt another human being and if I do so unintentionally I will always own it and give a heartfelt apology and make amends. I choose to be this way as I know what it is to feel emotional pain and I do not want anyone else to feel that pain at my expense.

Unfortunately, I have had a couple of emotionally unhealthy relationships. One was with the MOST narcissistic, toxic man I have ever had the misfortune to come across.

I am no victim. I do not enter relationships with the aim of changing or fixing the other person. However, I have built an enormous tolerance for emotional pain and that has not held me in good stead for looking after my emotional well-being when I have connected with an emotionally abusive man.

I recently came across a life-coach who said the following which really resonated with me:

“There is a saying that is very true, but multiple things can be true at once…hurt people do hurt people. That’s a fact. I’ve felt that, I’m sure you have. But you want to know what else is a fact? That genuine people hold space for others. Safe people that worked really hard to become so safe with themselves and others. They shelter those who do not feel safe. Lighthouses, people who are lighthouses, I’m sure you’ve found one before in your life, I know I have. I am absolutely a lighthouse and I love being one. Lighthouses shine light for others. I hope that this helps shift your perspective, because although hurt people do hurt people, you can become shelter for those who need it.”

@heather.powell.coaching

So there you have it. The puzzle for me is no longer a puzzle. Be a lighthouse. I know I am. I have also found my lighthouse. A man who genuinely cares about the safe space he has in my life and I in his. A man who wishes to cause no harm to me and is the shelter for me as I am for him.

Image credit: @Ravenwolf

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Relationships

no, I don’t have to smile!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 26, 2023 0

But seriously, don’t you hate it when people tell you to smile? Don’t get me wrong, a nice smile is always uplifting and lovely to see. Preferably a genuine smile, not a big, fake, shark-toothed grimacey smile!

I used to be in a relationship one-upon-a-time with a man who always had a go at me when I didn’t constantly smile. I had to smile so much when we were out that my face ached. 😂

We’d be out dancing and I would be having a lovely time, enjoying the music, the dancing, being with friends. Then, all the sudden he’d glare at me and in a furious whisper say “try to look like you’re enjoying yourself and smile.”

Well ok then, I was enjoying myself, thinking all was fine and dandy. But no, apparently my face was out of line! So I would plaster a ridiculous circus grin (think painted on clown smile) for the rest of the evening so as to avoid the man getting into a shitty mood and turning frosty on me for the next few hours or days. It was just more of his controlling behavior. I saw it for what it was, however it still had an impact on me and would make me feel a bit low for a while.

Mind you, ofttimes he would either do the fakey/fakey smile at people, but mostly he had a face like a slapped arse. Anger does that to your face – it leaves that calling card of “you are not a nice person” etched onto your features.

Anyways. That’s all in the past – there is the occasional man at dance class who tells myself and other women to “smile more.” I just nod politely and say “no problem, when you show me your pretty smile, I’ll show you mine.” That usually leaves them jaw hanging in surprise.

How many times do guys tell other guys to smile? They don’t.

It’s just plain rude. Stop telling us to smile – we will if we want, we will if we feel like it.

My daughter said that in the feature pic above, I have a certain elegance in not smiling. She’s not wrong 🥰

I’m also loving my new lbd!

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all about the dog

Even therapy dogs need a bath!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 25, 2023 0

George goes to the groomers for a bath and haircut every few weeks. In between times I take him to the local pet supply store who offer a free hydrobath for local dogs!

Having a bath is not entirely his favorite activity. He does always get a treat afterwards (don’t tell him it’s a dental hygiene treat 😉) But he’s pretty chill and relaxed about it.

His groomer, my friend Ang, tells me that when he’s having a bath there he is so relaxed he almost falls asleep!

My daughter came along with me this time, so she was able to snap some pics of bathtime for good boy!

He looks pretty chill here… don’t mind the li’l bandages on my arms, I’d just been to have my bloods taken that morning 😊

I give him a good scrub down with the shampoo, comb it through his fur and rinse… then he rewards me by shaking water and shampoo all over me 😂

Then it’s the baby wipes to clean his eyes and ears and a vigorous rub down with the towel.

Then we are done! Much to his relief!

I usually take him for a walk to the park to air-dry him further, less likely to have my place smell of wet dog! 😂 Not that I mind…

He’s a happy doggo and everyone loves him. He brings so much joy to people’s lives.

Love to you all and I hope you have a fabulous day 🥰

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Relationships

the cheaters and the liars…

By 60plus&lovinglife March 23, 2023 0

As a woman who has been around the block a time or two, I thought I had seen it all. But the one thing that always surprises me is how many men cheat on their partners.

It’s no secret that infidelity is a major issue in many relationships. But why do so many men cheat, even when they seem to have it all?

First, let’s look at the reasons why men cheat. Often, it’s not just about sex. Many men cheat because they feel emotionally disconnected from their partners or they feel they are losing control over the relationship and seek control elsewhere. For others it’s their sense of entitlement – they can and will do whatever they please, regardless of the consequences or the pain they will cause.

Whatever the reason, cheating is never acceptable. It’s painful, damaging, and can lead to the breakdown of a relationship. If you suspect your partner is cheating, it’s important to address the issue head-on.

I also speak from experience; I have had at least two cheating partners (that I know of 😂). One of them literally gave me the heads up at the get go. Now if that’s not a 🚩 I don’t know what is!

Early on, he was happy to tell me about all his dating, relationship, and sexual conquests and proud of himself too – thought he was quite the lad! And, woo, were there some doozies in all of those stories.

One that stood out was that towards the end of a long-term relationship he cheated on his then partner. He was drinking alone in a bar and a woman he didn’t know asked him to buy her a drink. He did and then she asked if he lived alone (note, she didn’t ask if he was single, just if he lived alone). Which he did and confirmed that he lived alone. He didn’t bother to mention the long-term relationship he was in. He took bar woman home to his place for a romp in the hay.

Then he broke up with his long-term girlfriend. But get this, he never admitted he cheated and that’s why he was ending things. He lied and told his girlfriend it was her fault that they were done.

That literally sent chills down my spine. That poor woman, to this day, still thinks he blames her for the breakup or that it was something that she did wrong. She has no idea that he was a cheating scumbag who lied to her.

You might well ask that knowing that, why did I get involved with him? All I can say is that there is no accounting for stupid🤷

Unsurprisingly, in the end he cheated on me as well.

Now, let’s talk about how to prevent cheating in the first place. Here are a few tips to bear in mind:

Keep communication open: Make sure you’re talking to your partner regularly, and that they feel safe and comfortable talking to you too. Be honest and transparent, and don’t be afraid to express your feelings.
Strengthen your emotional connection: Make time for each other and do things that bring you closer together. Show your partner that they are valued and appreciated.
Be aware of warning signs: If your partner is suddenly distant or secretive, or sexual intimacy is gone or infrequent, it’s important to address the issue. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and look for clues that something may be wrong.
Seek help if necessary: If your relationship is struggling, don’t be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your issues and communicate better with each other.

Remember, cheating is never the answer. If you’re in a committed relationship, it’s important to stay true to your partner and work together to build a stronger, healthier relationship. By keeping communication open, valuing each other, and seeking help, if necessary, you can prevent cheating and build a strong, lasting connection.

And if all of that does not work, then pick up your courage and dignity and walk away. Your self-respect and emotional well-being are important. Don’t settle for the liars and the cheaters. Walk away, start anew, have faith and surround yourself with family and friends who genuinely love and care about you. You got this!

image credit: Dion Kalen facebook.com/artbykalen

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health and fitness

Health is a lifestyle, not a trend.

By 60plus&lovinglife March 20, 2023 1

Now more than ever, women are increasingly aware of the importance of maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and for good reason. I often get asked for advice on how to eat more healthily or how to diet. First up, I don’t like or use the word “diet”. It has too many connotations and there are so many different “diets” out there.

The only one I give credence to is the “Mediterranean Diet” – primarily because it is not actually a diet, it is a lifestyle followed by the majority of the people in that part of the world. It is renowned for its positive impact on good health and longevity.

For me, that is the point. Eating healthily and having a steady exercise regimen are my life. Literally my life. It is how I choose to live my life. I have undertaken courses in nutrition and wellbeing and I have undertaken research from reputable sources to give you information that can support your understanding of healthy eating and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

We only get one life, we only have one body. Nurture yourself, choose the good things and remember that healthy food is tasty, delicious and nutritious. Stick to mostly plant based (lots of veggies and fruit), add in lean protein, carbs (wholegrains) and healthy fat (nuts, avocadoes). I’ll talk more about macronutrients in another blog post.

You will feel better, trust me.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), a healthy lifestyle reduces the risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and various forms of cancer. Here’s why health and fitness matter:

Reduces the risk of chronic disease

The benefits of being physically active extend beyond losing weight or building muscle. Regular exercise can help reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, and certain cancers. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), regular physical activity can reduce the risk of breast and colon cancer by 20-30%.

“The link between regular exercise and a lower risk of chronic diseases is well established. Studies have shown that regular physical activity can reduce the risk of developing cardiovascular disease, stroke, and diabetes,” says Dr. Anne McTiernan, a leading cancer prevention researcher at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center.

Strengthens muscles, bones, and joints

Strength training exercises such as weightlifting are not just for men; women can also benefit from it. According to a study from the American College of Sports Medicine, women who strength train have higher bone density and muscle strength, which lowers their risk of osteoporosis and reduces their risk of falls and fractures.

“Strength training has been shown to have numerous benefits for women, including improved bone density, increased muscle mass, and improved joint stability. These benefits can help reduce the risk of osteoporosis and other age-related musculoskeletal conditions,” says Dr. James W. Bodnarchuk, an orthopedic surgeon and sports medicine specialist.

Improves mental health

Exercise is not just good for physical health; it is also good for mental health. According to a study from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), regular physical activity can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Exercise also improves cognitive function and reduces the risk of dementia.

“Physical activity has a positive effect on mental health. Studies have shown that regular exercise can help reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, improve cognitive function and reduce the risk of dementia,” says Dr. Richard J. Davidson, a professor of psychology and psychiatry at the University of Wisconsin–Madison.

Being physically active is not just good for your physical health; it is good for your mental health too. Regular exercise can help reduce the risk of chronic diseases, strengthen muscles, bones, and joints, and improve mental health. As women, our health and happiness should be a top priority. Let’s make health and fitness a priority in our lives by incorporating physical activity into our daily routine.

Prioritize yourself, look after yourself. Your body and mind will thank you. Take care, stay strong and love lots ❤️

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random thoughts...

Life is good…

By 60plus&lovinglife March 19, 2023 0

I am in a really good place at this point in time.

It’s autumn time in my neck of the woods and we still have lovely warm, sunny days with cooler mornings and evenings. Perfect for my morning runs and still nice enough to head to the pool for some sun and swimming when I have a spare afternoon.

I’m loving going to the gym and staying fit and strong. My gym buddies are always great to chat with before our workout session/class. Some people think the gym is an intimidating or unfriendly environment. But no, I find it incredibly social and downright fun! If you’re not sure about heading to the gym, see if yours runs classes and sign up. At my gym we are very welcoming of new people.

I’m still going dancing all the time, I have really good dance friends too and their support has been invaluable. Again, if you are looking for something to do either to get fitter or be more social, check out your nearest dance classes and try them out. You will find a whole new community to connect with…

For me, exercise, dancing, eating super healthy most of the time and spending time with friends and loved ones is vital for my emotional well-being and general happiness.

Avoiding negative people is important. That is not to say that you are not there for your friends and family when they are down or struggling with life. We all need to support each other in good times and bad. But negative energy vampires only pull you down to their low vibrational energy.

Sending you all love and light – take care!

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health and fitness

Podcast!

By 60plus&lovinglife March 18, 2023 0

Now that my Blog is established and getting more followers, I am working on launching a Podcast. I’m going to release it on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Castbox, Overcast, Stitcher and RadioPublic – making sure I reach listeners on their preferred platform anywhere in the world.

I’ll be cross-promoting with other podcasters to get more traction and grow my listeners. I’ll also be launching my Podcast across my social media and regular media and I have a couple interviews lined up.

My Podcast will be along the same themes and categories that you can find in my Blog, but with the added spin of hearing my voice and conversations with guests and a few extras that will only be available on the Podcast especially for you.

It’s going to be a mixture of interviews, special guests, and great content on being 60+ and loving life!

I’ll be talking about all my favourite things. Dancing, my dog and therapy/assistance dogs, relationships (the good, the bad and the in-between!), health & fitness – particularly for people over 60, and chatting with other people about their views on all things!

I am so excited to be moving forward with this new project. I can’t wait to share this with you all.

The podcast episodes will be dropped every fortnight – I’ll update you on the launch date soon. Some content will be serious, and some will be fun and light-hearted, but all content will be engaging!

Life is fabulous. Do what makes you happy! Live your life, have adventures, try new things and don’t forget to love. Love yourself, your special person, your family and your friends! ❤️

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Relationships

Coercive Control

By 60plus&lovinglife March 16, 2023March 21, 2023 0

As I sit down to write this blog post, I am filled with a sense of sadness and frustration. Coercive control is a serious issue that affects countless individuals – particularly women – in their relationships. It is a form of abuse that can be difficult to identify and escape from, and it’s a topic that deserves our attention and discussion.

Coercive control involves using a combination of tactics to manipulate and intimidate a partner into submission. These tactics can include emotional manipulation, financial control, physical violence, and threats of harm to oneself or others. The abuser seeks to exert complete domination over their partner, often isolating them from family and friends and controlling every aspect of their life.

This type of abuse is insidious because it often occurs gradually over time, making it difficult for the victim to recognize what is happening. The abuser may use subtle language or behaviors that make the victim feel guilty, powerless, or worthless. Eventually, the victim may begin to doubt their own thoughts and emotions, thinking that they are the problem.

But let me tell you something: you are not the problem. No one deserves to be treated in such a way. Coercive control is a form of domestic violence, and there are resources available to help you escape it.

If you or someone you know is experiencing coercive control, there are steps you can take. Seek out the support of trusted family and friends, or consider reaching out to a domestic violence hotline or organization. They can provide resources and guidance on how to safely leave the relationship and start rebuilding your life.

Remember that coercive control is a serious issue that requires attention and action. No one deserves to live in fear or be controlled by someone else. It’s never too late to seek help and break free from the cycle of abuse.

As we continue to navigate through the challenges of life, let us be mindful of those around us. Let us offer ourselves as support systems for anyone who may be experiencing coercive control. Let us listen without judgment and offer guidance where we can. And above all, let us never forget that we are all worthy of love and respect – no matter what.

Disclaimer: This blog post is not about any one individual. It is written about a topical issue that impacts many women and to empower women in their lives.

Image credit: Creative Chand

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All Posts By 60plus&lovinglife

Reduces the risk of chronic disease

Strengthens muscles, bones, and joints

Improves mental health