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you deserve to be happy!

What does a relationship mean to you?

For me, it’s being with someone who is my best friend and loved partner.

When you wake up and you’ve been holding hands during the night, because you always reach out for each other, even in sleep.

You both get up and it’s a fresh, bright and wonderful new morning, full of hope and possibilities.

You laugh and talk as you make breakfast together. Maybe pancakes or french toast with cinnamon sugar. Maybe eggs or porridge with honey and fresh berries.

And coffee, nice strong coffee.

It’s a special part of the day to share and it sets the tone for the rest of the day.

Do you go on a hike? Or go back to bed for a while? šŸ˜‰ take the dogs for a walk or both head to the gym to workout.

The day can take any turn you like. But you’ve set a beautiful start.

That’s what my best friend and partner would want – with me and I with them šŸ’•

My person willingly and happily shares the household labour, freeing us up to have more quality time together. Knowing that the chores do not belong to any one person.

My person would never expect me to bear more than my fair share of tasks, because love recognizes that both of us are contributing to something we wish to grow together.

There is no room for being selfish. But there is room to care for ourselves and each other.

He is intuitive and notices if I am down or feeling tired. We both will pick up more of the burden if we notice the other is not quite up to things. It’s nurturing and it’s empathy and it’s genuine love.

We are both ok with needing space and solitude sometimes and allowing each other that grace.

Loving someone is grace, kindness, laughter. It can also be less than that at times, because life is not always rainbows and unicorns.

But we know that and we accept each other and that is our love.

When times are tough, we pull together to work things out. No matter what, we have each other’s back.

For after all, we are kindred souls and we will never lose each other šŸ’•

one can but dream…

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be wary of people who hate animals…

I’m always wary of folk that hate animals!

I dated a guy one time who hated animals (I know, right?!? what was I thinking?) He was an overall creep as well! Took a minute to figure it out, but I did.

He used to mock me for having a dog. Literally, he actually said “what 50 year old gets a dog?” Saying I was “pathetic.”

The thing is I have had dogs and cats my whole life since childhood. The one he was referring to I got when I was 52, my other dog was getting a bit old and I felt having a puppy would cheer her up, which it did (eventually!) My older dog passed a few years later and I swear having a younger dog around gave her more energy and pep!

Being with someone who despised animals was horrible. It was an experience that taught me more about human nature than I ever wanted to know.

Iā€™m an animal lover. My dog isnā€™t just a pet; theyā€™re family. They greet me with wagging tails and endless affection after a long day, offering unconditional love and companionship. So when I started dating this guy, I was excited to introduce him to my furry friend. Little did I know, that introduction would reveal more about him than any conversation ever could.

At first, he seemed indifferent about my dog. I brushed it off, thinking maybe he just wasnā€™t used to animals. But then the mocking started. Heā€™d make snide remarks about how ā€œpatheticā€ it was to be so attached to a dog. Heā€™d laugh at the idea of someone finding comfort and joy in an animalā€™s company, saying it was ā€œchildishā€ and ā€œridiculous.ā€

His cruelty didnā€™t stop there. Heā€™d deliberately antagonize my dog, teasing them in ways that were anything but playful. The more I saw this side of him, the more unsettled I became. His actions werenā€™t just a sign of disliking animals; they were a window into his twisted, cruel nature.

It wasnā€™t just about him not liking dogsā€”it was about the complete lack of empathy and compassion he showed. How could someone be so cold and heartless to a creature that only wanted to give love? The more time I spent with him, the more I realized he was a creep in every sense of the word. His disdain for animals mirrored a broader disdain for kindness and decency.

Iā€™m so grateful to no longer have this excuse for a human in my life. Looking back, I can see how his attitude towards my dog was a massive red flagā€”a warning of the nastiness that lurked beneath the surface.

Hereā€™s the thing: Animals bring out our softer sides. They remind us of the importance of care, love, and responsibility. If someone canā€™t appreciate that, if they respond with cruelty instead of kindness, it says a lot about who they are as a person.

So, hereā€™s my advice: Never trust a person who hates animals. If they canā€™t show empathy for a creature that only wants to love and be loved, how can they possibly show it to another human being? Surround yourself with people who share your love and compassion for all living beingsā€”itā€™s one of the best ways to ensure that youā€™re with someone who truly has a good heart.

As for me, Iā€™m happy to have my dog by my side, a loyal companion who, unlike that guy, knows the true meaning of unconditional love

My now older dog is 13 and yesterday I rescued a pup to keep him company in his twilight years.

My new pup is 7 months old and she is gorgeous – look at those eyes!

picture of a black toy poodle

Her owner rejected her as she’d been bought to be a “show dog.” However, the pup has a little white fur on her chest and a tiny (genetic) kink in her tail, so she was disqualified at her first show.

That meant the owner didn’t want her anymorešŸ˜¢

This pup now has a warm and loving home with me! Her imperfections are cute as far as I’m concerned and she has settled beautifully into my home.

Even better, my current partner loves dogs and cats and is delighted with my little menagerie!šŸ’—

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Connecting with someone special…

For a long time, I believed in the fairy taleā€”the one where the hero rides in on a white horse to rescue me from whatever woes life threw my way. But life taught me a valuable lesson: I didnā€™t need a hero. I saved myself long ago. I realized that I am complete on my own; I donā€™t need someone to complete me. I am whole, capable, and content with who I am.

However, there was something I did crave: a fellow weirdo to share adventures with. Someone who would dance with me in the living room at midnight, kiss me when I least expect it, and make me laugh until my sides hurt. I didnā€™t need rescuing; I just wanted a partner in crime, a co-conspirator in the grand escapade of life.

And then, as if by a stroke of cosmic luck, I met that person. They were just as quirky as I am, and from the very first moment, we got each other. There was no need for explanations or justifications; we fit together in a way that was both effortless and exhilarating.

I am eternally grateful for this connection. In a world that often feels overwhelming and chaotic, having someone who understands and accepts your weirdness is a gift beyond measure. We laugh, we dance, and we embark on countless adventures, each one more thrilling than the last.

What more could I possibly need? In finding each other, weā€™ve created our own fairy taleā€”not one of rescue and heroics, but of mutual weirdness, joy, and endless possibilities. And in this story, we are both the heroes, standing strong together, ready for whatever comes next

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Sometimes it’s just really hard…

So there I was, drenched in sweat, heart racing, and fingers trembling as I finally unlocked the last clue to escape the most diabolical room ever designed by humanity. The clock stopped with mere seconds to spare. I turned to my friends, ready to bask in the glory of our victory when, out of nowhere, my exā€”yes, my actual exā€”popped out of nowhere (don’t ask me how they got there) and said, ā€œThat was our relationship.ā€

Well, ouch. But also… kinda accurate.

Let me paint a picture for you. An escape room, if you haven’t experienced one, is a place where you voluntarily lock yourself in a room with your friends (or frenemies), and then solve a series of puzzles to get out. You have a set time limit, usually an hour, to piece together clues, decode messages, and generally panic while the clock ticks down. Fun, right?

Now, letā€™s talk about relationshipsā€”specifically, mine with my ex. Imagine entering a room with no clear instructions, where everything is a potential clue but nothing makes sense. You look at your partner and wonder, “Are we in this together, or are you just going to watch me struggle while offering vague hints?”

The Clues

In an escape room, clues are hidden everywhere. In my relationship, clues about how my ex was feeling were just as scattered and cryptic. “Is that a happy sigh or a frustrated one?” I’d think, like I was trying to decode Morse code. And just like in an escape room, sometimes youā€™d find a clue, think it was the key to everything, only to realize it led to another puzzle, and another, and another…

The Team

Escape rooms are all about teamwork. So are relationships. But in our case, the teamwork was… let’s say, lacking. It was like being in a room with someone who’d rather rearrange the furniture than solve the puzzle. “Did you try opening that drawer?” I’d ask, metaphorically, in our relationship. “No, but I think the couch looks better over here,” would be the response.

The Time Crunch

The ticking clock in an escape room adds pressure, much like the ticking clock of societal expectations in a relationship. “When are you two getting serious?” friends would ask. Meanwhile, we’re still trying to figure out how to unlock the emotional equivalent of a padlocked treasure chest – without the actual treasure!

The Victory

Escaping the room felt amazing. For a brief moment, I felt like a genius who could outwit any challenge. Similarly, the moments when our relationship worked felt incredible. Weā€™d have a breakthrough, like finding a hidden key, and everything would click into place. But just like in escape rooms, that high was often followed by the realization that another puzzle awaited us.

The Exit

Finally, thereā€™s that sweet moment of escape, of freedom, of seeing the light outside. In our relationship, that moment came too. But instead of cheers and high-fives, it was more of a mutual, exhausted sigh of relief. I didn’t solve the puzzle, but I sure learned a lot about myself along the way.

Our relationship was one giant, complicated, exhausting escape room. But unlike a typical escape room, where the challenge is the reward, our relationship taught me that sometimes, the best move is knowing when to call it quits and head for the door.

And for that, I thank my ex. Now, who’s up for another escape room?

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Love Doesn’t Leave You Traumatized: Understanding the Difference

In the journey of love, it’s not uncommon to encounter experiences that leave scars on our hearts.

However, it’s essential to recognize that true love doesn’t leave you traumatized. Whatever happened to you was not love; it was something else entirely.

Love is meant to uplift, empower, and nurture us. It’s a force that brings out the best in us, encourages growth, and fosters a deep sense of connection.

But when we find ourselves in situations that leave us feeling broken, hurt, and traumatized, it’s crucial to understand that it wasn’t love at play.

So, what exactly happened?

Often, what we perceive as love is a distorted version of it ā€“ a toxic relationship, an abusive dynamic, or a one-sided affair.

These experiences can leave lasting scars, affecting our self-worth, confidence, and ability to trust again. But it’s essential to remember that these experiences were not a reflection of love but rather a distortion of it.

True love is built on a foundation of respect, trust, and mutual understanding. It’s about honoring each other’s boundaries, supporting one another’s dreams, and being there through the highs and lows of life.

It’s about seeing each other for who we truly are and accepting each other unconditionally.

When love is genuine, it doesn’t leave you feeling traumatized. Instead, it helps you heal, grow, and become the best version of yourself.

It’s a source of strength and comfort, a sanctuary in a world filled with chaos and uncertainty.

If you’ve been through a traumatic experience in the name of love, it’s essential to seek healing and support.

Surround yourself with people who uplift and empower you, and don’t be afraid to seek professional help if needed. Remember that you deserve to be loved in a way that honors and respects you ā€“ anything less is not love.

As you navigate your journey of healing, remember that true love exists, and it’s worth waiting for.

It may take time to find the right person who cherishes and values you, but when you do, it will be worth the wait.

Love shouldn’t leave you traumatized; it should leave you feeling cherished, valued, and whole.

So, hold onto hope, believe in the power of love, and never settle for anything less than you deserve.

You are worthy of a love that lifts you up, supports you, and brings you joy ā€“ don’t ever forget that.

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Vibing with the right person…

What is astonishingly good is when you connect with someone and you can have an actual conversation with them.

A real, genuine – goes two ways conversation!

I know, right?!?

Not just listening to some bore droning on about the minutiae of their life.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all happy to have someone share their day-to-day with me. I can listen, be empathetic and engaged.

I’m talking about that person that literally drones on & on, barely pausing for breath and showing scant interest in you or what is going on in your life.

The one-way monologue.

The bore-fest of “me, me, me” and all their woes, constant negativity. and victimhood. Never owning their own actions, blaming absolutely everybody else in their life for everything that has gone wrong for them.

Not for one minute showing any insight into their own self-inflicted drama.

The one who gossips about absolutely everyone else and telling your everybody’s secrets and private information that you really do not want to know about.

For damn sure, they are now gossiping about you! Trust me, he who gossips and bitches about others, will be spreading your private life to anyone who will take the time to listen!

After a number of dud relationships, I am so happy I have a connection with a genuine human with whom I can have engaging and thoughtful conversations. We have shared values and can talk politics and the state of the world and know our world view is aligned.

He is mindful and smart, well read and always keen to learn more. He is open to looking at things from other perspectives. He never gossips and does not bitch about other people. Such a breath of fresh air!

It is delightful to spend time with him exploring our thoughts and ideas and sharing things we have read about and valuing each other’s perspective on life.

You have no idea how lovely it is to have this kind of relationship, for me it is rare. It’s like a caring, genuine friendship and love connection all wrapped up together and it truly warms my heart.

The last time I had anything similar to this was my first husband who sadly died 27 years ago.

I have peace of mind, I am happy as a lark and life is fine and dandyšŸ„°

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