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So there I was, drenched in sweat, heart racing, and fingers trembling as I finally unlocked the last clue to escape the most diabolical room ever designed by humanity. The clock stopped with mere seconds to spare. I turned to my friends, ready to bask in the glory of our victory when, out of nowhere, my ex—yes, my actual ex—popped out of nowhere (don’t ask me how they got there) and said, “That was our relationship.”

Well, ouch. But also… kinda accurate.

Let me paint a picture for you. An escape room, if you haven’t experienced one, is a place where you voluntarily lock yourself in a room with your friends (or frenemies), and then solve a series of puzzles to get out. You have a set time limit, usually an hour, to piece together clues, decode messages, and generally panic while the clock ticks down. Fun, right?

Now, let’s talk about relationships—specifically, mine with my ex. Imagine entering a room with no clear instructions, where everything is a potential clue but nothing makes sense. You look at your partner and wonder, “Are we in this together, or are you just going to watch me struggle while offering vague hints?”

The Clues

In an escape room, clues are hidden everywhere. In my relationship, clues about how my ex was feeling were just as scattered and cryptic. “Is that a happy sigh or a frustrated one?” I’d think, like I was trying to decode Morse code. And just like in an escape room, sometimes you’d find a clue, think it was the key to everything, only to realize it led to another puzzle, and another, and another…

The Team

Escape rooms are all about teamwork. So are relationships. But in our case, the teamwork was… let’s say, lacking. It was like being in a room with someone who’d rather rearrange the furniture than solve the puzzle. “Did you try opening that drawer?” I’d ask, metaphorically, in our relationship. “No, but I think the couch looks better over here,” would be the response.

The Time Crunch

The ticking clock in an escape room adds pressure, much like the ticking clock of societal expectations in a relationship. “When are you two getting serious?” friends would ask. Meanwhile, we’re still trying to figure out how to unlock the emotional equivalent of a padlocked treasure chest – without the actual treasure!

The Victory

Escaping the room felt amazing. For a brief moment, I felt like a genius who could outwit any challenge. Similarly, the moments when our relationship worked felt incredible. We’d have a breakthrough, like finding a hidden key, and everything would click into place. But just like in escape rooms, that high was often followed by the realization that another puzzle awaited us.

The Exit

Finally, there’s that sweet moment of escape, of freedom, of seeing the light outside. In our relationship, that moment came too. But instead of cheers and high-fives, it was more of a mutual, exhausted sigh of relief. I didn’t solve the puzzle, but I sure learned a lot about myself along the way.

Our relationship was one giant, complicated, exhausting escape room. But unlike a typical escape room, where the challenge is the reward, our relationship taught me that sometimes, the best move is knowing when to call it quits and head for the door.

And for that, I thank my ex. Now, who’s up for another escape room?

imagecredit:magicdesign