Not a grandmother and that’s ok!
Not a grandmother and I’m totally fine with that!
First up I will say that grandparents are awesome and I’m happy for you if you have grandies. Ok, now onto my story. My daughter, who is in her early 30s, told me a couple of years back that she decided she did not want to have children. She is of that generation of women that carefully consider their life choices and make decisions based on what is right for them.
I recall back when I was younger, in my early/mid 20s (in the 1980s, sheesh that was a long while ago!) there was a lot of pressure to have children. Whether you would make a good parent or not, the societal expectation was very much that you marry and have children (not always in that order 😂) but you get my drift, yes?
I was called selfish as I wasn’t sure I wanted children and dared to voice my opinion (I also didn’t get around to having my daughter until I was almost 32, which was not so common back in the day). I was puzzled at the idea of being called selfish for not wanting children. I still don’t quite get it. Young women make different and better choices these days, but there is still pressure and the ‘selfish’ word still gets thrown around a bit.
Choosing to live a full and happy life of work, travel, relationships, friends, volunteering, pets, hobbies, interests, fitness and fun seems a sensible choice to me. The world can be a bit of an unsettling place and not one we necessarily wish to bring children into. That said, I realize that people choose to have children as it’s a deep seated desire/need for them and again, good for them, but it’s not for everyone and that is fine and dandy.
I also hear folk of my age group who pester their adult children into having children as they want to be made ‘grandparents’ and have meaning and purpose in their lives. Heck, my mother pestered me and she already had a few grandies before I got around to producing another. She used to point to a space on the wall that she left ready for my child’s portrait, in between all the others. I told her I’d give her a photo of my cat, I think I was ahead of my time or just cheeky. Same/same!
I do not need grandchildren to add value to my life. I am content with my life and my relationship with my daughter is loving and close.
The photo for this post is of me and my daughter when she was a baby 🥰 and I 100% support her in any decision she makes about her life as an adult and I am incredibly proud of the way she has turned out. She is loving, kind, generous, thoughtful, smart and absolutely my best friend!
adult childrendaughtersgrandparentsnot a grandmotherwomen over 60women's choices